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Original poster

To report bus driver that bullied DS

105 replies

Projecap · 19/01/2026 23:36

Ds is 15 and autistic, he has SM and has really struggled in education and making friends. His secondary school weren't supportive at all and In the end I pulled him out to protect his mental health. He took last year out, doing little bits of work but mostly recovering as his anxiety was so bad.

In September, he startedcollege and he's doing really well, he made a friend and he really looks out for DS and seems to understand him and most importantly has never pressured him to talk to him, most their communication is DS writing things down on his phone etc.

Before Christmas he shocked me by saying he wanted to get the bus to college with his friend at the start of the new term, I was driving him in but I was open to let him try. Because of his expensive bus passes are I had been giving him money for a day saver each day, his friend would speak for him and ask for the ticket and for the past 2 weeks there had been no issues

However, this morning when they got on the bus the driver was quite rude to DS and wouldn't give the ticket to DS if his friend was asking, he was telling DS to stop being rude, it wasn't hard and was getting quite annoyed that he was holding the bus up. His friend admitted he got kind of rude back and told him it wasn't hard to just give DS the ticket either. In the end they just got off and went to McDonald’s as DS had got stressed and he told me this afternoon there were older people that go to the same college on the bus and they were all staring at him - it's a public bus though.

The friend called me using DS’s phone and when I got there DS had calmed down but he wanted to go home and sleep. He seems ok now but he's torn between wanting to try the bus again, me taking him and not wanting to go at all, he's sort of going in circles with it.Im furious and worry this has now set him back

I tried calling the bus company but got no answer earlier, a friend said they wont do much and it's happened now, so is it?

OP posts:
BitsyBop · 19/01/2026 23:39

So ds friend was rude to the driver?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 19/01/2026 23:40

I am tempted to say that you could go with him and tell the driver the situation but I am not sure it would help 🥺

what a prick that driver is - is there a man that can go with ds tomorrow? Not to be a misogynistic prick, honestly, it might just be a man thing??

also, how lovely that ds has this friend in his corner x

Diarygirlqueen · 19/01/2026 23:41

BitsyBop · 19/01/2026 23:39

So ds friend was rude to the driver?

Edited

Really, that's what you took from this?

Katemax82 · 19/01/2026 23:43

My daughter was upset by a bus driver being brisk with her the other day. I made complaint online but all I got was "we will speak to our driver but can't tell you the results of this action" or something like that, so in other words they did nothing (my daughter is possibly autistic and very fragile mentally)

CuppaTandBicky · 19/01/2026 23:44

Argh I feel your pain. I understand (from experience) this is such massive progress for your son and it's ruined by one cocky bus driver!! Why does it make any difference to him who asks for the ticket?

I probably would report it yes, but probably just out of anger and I know it won't help your son but if the feedback gets back to the bus driver and he feels even a TINY bit bad about it I would feel a bit better!!!!

I hope your son recovers and has the strength to get back on the bus.😞

24Dogcuddler · 19/01/2026 23:52

There will be a person at the bus company who is in charge of disability and inclusion.
We had to phone and complain once when the driver on our DD’s school bus didn’t stop on the busy main rd ( next to a car park where one of us met her) as some pupils at the back were messing about. He turned into an estate and dropped her and some others off.
Our older DD was on study leave so she was alone and didn’t know where she was (Y9 ASD diagnosis) She crossed a 4 lane main rd after phoning her sister.
The driver got into a lot of trouble. They made a note that there was a vulnerable young person on the bus and offered support which she wouldn’t have wanted. Sounds like that driver needs training.
Hope it’s not knocked his confidence too much.

topsecretcyclist · 19/01/2026 23:57

I reported a driver to the bus company when he was rude to my DS who had trouble using his disabled bus pass. They were really helpful, although obviously couldn't tell me the outcome of their investigation. It's always worth getting in touch so they can remind drivers to be more patient.

redlorryyellowbus · 19/01/2026 23:58

Your poor ds.
Let him go on the bus again but how about go earlier/ later or a different route so other college people aren’t on the bus?

I think your ds could learn a valuable lesson from this in that there will be issues in life for all of us but we can still do what we want 💪🏼

The friend sounds an absolute Gem, I hope you are good to him too!

I would be tempted to go to the bus myself if it didn’t ruin DS street cred!

Definitely contact the bus company.

What if DS was non verbal? It’s discrimination to know what ds wants but try to make him talk and also bullying.

Ohthatsabitshit · 19/01/2026 23:59

A bus driver shouted at my dd who is very anxious because we dropped off in the correct but more awkward place at school. I contacted the HT who was absolutely brilliant as was the bus company. The bus driver was talked to and the issue never repeated. Call the bus company and let then sort it out for you.

Pussygaloregalapagos · 20/01/2026 00:03

Not nice. But if he is gonna be out on the world he is gonna have to start rolling with the punches. Bus driver probably just frustrated.

yeah maybe take the bus with him for a few days if you can.

or else get a pass so he just has to show it and not pay every day.

Comefromaway · 20/01/2026 00:05

BitsyBop · 19/01/2026 23:39

So ds friend was rude to the driver?

Edited

I’d be rude to a bus driver who was making fun/refusing a ticket to someone with special needs.

Delphiniumandlupins · 20/01/2026 00:17

Send an email to the bus company. Be factual rather than accusatory and emphasise that your DS's disability means he has trouble speaking up and his friend advocates for him. I've had a couple of recent complaints handled very well by a local bus company - don't know if they are all as good. Hope your boy gets his nerve back and tries again.

Also, would your DS wear a sunflower lanyard or pin? He should not need to in order to receive good service but it might highlight that he needs extra help?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 20/01/2026 00:53

My thoughts sure put in a complaint but don’t expect too much.

More importantly use this as a learning experience. Good for him being open to using the bus again! Give him some tools for the next time something like this happens.

  • Remind him that yes people may have been looking but ultimately people really only care about themselves and will have forgotten about very soon after it happened.
  • Some things to ‘say’ in the moment. Grunting is perfectly acceptable for a teenager to do do to authority figures
  • getting the next bus means it won’t be the same driver
  • have him type the ticket info to show bus drivers and a response on the phone “yeah thx. Need ticket” to show the driver

I’m sure you can think of a lot more relevant to son’s situation so I’ll stop here, but you get the idea.

It sounds like his friend has been a great help. So maybe ask your son if there’s something fun you can treat them both to.

ASimpleLampoon · 20/01/2026 03:18

Not bullying, discrimination,OP!

Absolutely complain that is unacceptable .

Clarabell77 · 20/01/2026 03:25

BitsyBop · 19/01/2026 23:39

So ds friend was rude to the driver?

Edited

That’s what you took from that post?

BusMumsHoliday · 20/01/2026 06:28

Definitely call the bus company and use the words "disability discrimination." I'm in London and there have recently been some cases where wheelchairs users have won victories against bus companies, so I think bus companies are actually quite hot on this.

I agree that a sunflower lanyard would help. Or could DS have a message ready on his phone that says, "I'm disabled and can't speak. Could I have a return to X, please. Thanks for your patience." He shouldn't have to declare his disability but this might help him feel prepared for if it happens again.

Also, what a lovely friend he has. And what an idiot driver: it's absolutely normal for one member of a group to buy all the tickets!

DDivaStar · 20/01/2026 06:40

The drivers an idiot, definitely email the bus company so they can educate him.

Most bus companies have an app, you can buy tickets in advance.

Unfortunately ds will encounter problems and rude people, he will need some strategies to make it easier to navigate interaction.

FcukBreastCancer · 20/01/2026 06:43

Definitely report. Would he be willing to carry a Sunflower card? It could say he's situationally non verbal

ShawnaMacallister · 20/01/2026 06:45

He really shouldn't have to do this but carrying a card he can show saying 'I am autistic and sometimes can't speak in public' might help him to negotiate situations like this.

ShawnaMacallister · 20/01/2026 06:46

BitsyBop · 19/01/2026 23:39

So ds friend was rude to the driver?

Edited

Sometimes it's ok to be rude to people who are rude first. Even if you're a teenager!

Owly11 · 20/01/2026 06:59

You need to get a card made up that DS can show to the driver saying he has SM.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 20/01/2026 07:04

BitsyBop · 19/01/2026 23:39

So ds friend was rude to the driver?

Edited

Yeah so he should have been

do you teach your kids to just put up with being treated badly? How sad

caravantulips · 20/01/2026 07:13

Put in a complaint. Be factual and mention your son’s disability. Bus companies do take action. I contacted a bus company after I witnessed a driver making a vile racist comment to a passenger. They told me that they checked their CCTV and can confirm the comment was not acceptable and that they would deal with the matter. Not seen that bus driver since.

Passaggressfedup · 20/01/2026 07:17

However, this morning when they got on the bus the driver was quite rude to DS and wouldn't give the ticket to DS if his friend was asking, he was telling DS to stop being rude, it wasn't hard and was getting quite annoyed that he was holding the bus up
That doesn't make much sense at all. No bus driver is going to make a fuss because one person buys two tickets for two people getting on the bus together. It happens all the time. So what really happened? He gave both tickets to the friend who could have then given it to your son but your son insisted it was given to him? What was your son saying that pro.pted the driver to tell your son to stop being rude?