To report bus driver that bullied DS

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Ds is 15 and autistic, he has SM and has really struggled in education and making friends. His secondary school weren't supportive at all and In the end I pulled him out to protect his mental health. He took last year out, doing little bits of work but mostly recovering as his anxiety was so bad.

In September, he startedcollege and he's doing really well, he made a friend and he really looks out for DS and seems to understand him and most importantly has never pressured him to talk to him, most their communication is DS writing things down on his phone etc.

Before Christmas he shocked me by saying he wanted to get the bus to college with his friend at the start of the new term, I was driving him in but I was open to let him try. Because of his expensive bus passes are I had been giving him money for a day saver each day, his friend would speak for him and ask for the ticket and for the past 2 weeks there had been no issues

However, this morning when they got on the bus the driver was quite rude to DS and wouldn't give the ticket to DS if his friend was asking, he was telling DS to stop being rude, it wasn't hard and was getting quite annoyed that he was holding the bus up. His friend admitted he got kind of rude back and told him it wasn't hard to just give DS the ticket either. In the end they just got off and went to McDonald’s as DS had got stressed and he told me this afternoon there were older people that go to the same college on the bus and they were all staring at him - it's a public bus though.

The friend called me using DS’s phone and when I got there DS had calmed down but he wanted to go home and sleep. He seems ok now but he's torn between wanting to try the bus again, me taking him and not wanting to go at all, he's sort of going in circles with it.Im furious and worry this has now set him back

I tried calling the bus company but got no answer earlier, a friend said they wont do much and it's happened now, so is it?

Totally missing the point there!

I didn't say anything about buggies. I know that disabled people have received settlements from bus companies when buses repeatedly failed to stop for them, failed to lower ramps, and failed to ask other users to vacate the wheelchair priority space (I believe they are required to ask, though you're correct that they can't force people to leave the bus). I guess technically a settlement isn't a victory in court, but companies don't usually pay money if they know they are going to win.

98% of people just make life hard work when you can't speak, and I say that as someone who had been bullied (partly for my teeth) to the point that I rarely spoke to anyone by the time that I left school. Sometimes I wonder if it makes them feel better to ridicule, and take out their bad attitude, on someone who they know full well can't give it back to them. They are absolute idiots. It's a very good way of weeding out those who aren't worth your time.

The other 2% are people like your DS's friend, and those people are worth knowing, and keeping in your life!

If the bus service doesn't have all of these apps and things, would your DS feel comfortable carrying a card to explain that he can't speak? It doesn't have to say why, but it might help to explain things sometimes. Alternatively, a pack of cards with common things (e.g. 'Please may I have a day saver/ticket to X? Thank you'), a phone app with large text, or even a whiteboard and pen might help.

It absolutely is bullying. The phrase 'it isn't hard' is completely unacceptable. Many people need support if various types when using public transport. The driver has been trained.

I’m confused, bus companies shelling out cash to people cos they are frightened of going to court, but they will shell out money apparently, and people like you can repeat it on forums like this?

Its a shame that the driver for whatever reason had no patience with your son and was expecting him to speak for himself when clearly his friend was asking for a second ticket. Even if his friend already had a pass, it shouldn't be a problem asking for a ticket for someone else. Clearly this driver needs training about invisible disabilties.
If you can pre-pay tickets on an app like others have suggested, then he just needs to scan a barcode? Will this be easier for him?

Your poor ds. He's made a huge step forward and a bus driver has been an arse and probably ruined it. I would absolutely complain.

In my area the county council give a free bus pass for some disabilities and I managed to get one for my ds due to his sm (not that he's ever used it but maybe one day),

i don't know about OPs DS but mine would never use a lanyard or card as it just draws even more attention.

The driver should not have acted the way he did, of course not and should be reported and reprimanded but it isn’t bullying.

I think it is bullying. There is no issue with the friend buying the ticket, but yet the bus driver:

'was quite rude to DS and wouldn't give the ticket to DS if his friend was asking, he was telling DS to stop being rude, it wasn't hard and was getting quite annoyed that he was holding the bus up.'

Yes. Wheelchair users have won victories over bus companies who are not doing enough to ensure reasonable adjustments are made.

The Supreme Court have rules it is not enough for a bus driver to simply refuse access or to accept a refusal of someone to move from a space. Wheelchair users LEGALLY have the right to a reasonable adjustment. Simply painting a space on a bus and halfheartedly asking someone to move is not enough.

I kinda took bullying to be repeated incidences, over a period of time.

I really do wish you were right. But you’re not.

wheelchair users haven’t got the right or the legal backing to say that’s my space get out. There gas being alot of court cases but the biggest one was overruled in a court of appeal.

Bus drivers have to put up with a horrific amount of abuse. Some seem to stay remarkably cheerful and some get grumpy. Your son got a grumpy one. I wouldn't waste any time reporting it.

This is a joke, right? You made a complaint???? Okay Karen.

Email the bus company with the subject line “complaint about driver of bus Xxx”
the driver needs to be educated that he cannot treat people like this and needs to be aware that not all people communicate verbally.
so sorry your son experienced this when he has been doing so well. I hope this doesn’t set him back at all. I work at a college with learners similar to your son so I understand how much of a big deal this can be. Good luck.

Even if that were true, what kind of lowlife would refuse to move a buggy out of the wheelchair space for a wheelchair user?

Bus drivers deal with hundreds of passengers every day and are inundated with people being awkward, obstructive, refusing to pay, pretending they lost their pass, demanding free travel, holding everyone up, abusing them, threatening them, spitting at them etc. they can’t be expected to understand the nuances of every single condition and difference of some people mixed in amongst the hundreds of others they encounter everyday day who are just awkward for the sake of it. I think this can be addressed without going after the drivers job and wanting him punished. It was an odd situation. Perhaps just explain the reason behind the situation to the bus company and that they were not being obstructive but that your son has difficulty articulating himself and just needed his friend to help. It doesn’t need to be a big deal. I’m saying this as the wife of a bus driver who was once suspended and thought he would lose his job because a passenger complained about him asserting himself AFTER they approached the cab banging on the screed, shouting, swearing and abusing him because he wouldn’t let them on for free. It’s a thankless job and every day you are surrounded with some of the worst society has to throw at you treating you like dirt. There are unfortunately going to be some genuine people caught up in the madness that is driving public transport these days. Most of DHs colleagues hate the job and want to leave. Nobody gets up at 5am to be abused and threatened all day by members of the public who treat public transport like a free taxi service and I hate to say it but the majority of the trouble comes from younger people.

Agree with this and similar comments.
Absolutely report it (just be factual) - this is the best chance of getting some training for the bus driver, who sounds as though he needs it.
The sunflower lanyard and the card explaining your son's needs also sound a good idea.
But it's great that your son has found a sympathetic friend who will look out for him.

@Passaggressfedup you may have misunderstood. The OP’s son is selectively mute (SM) he couldn’t speak to the driver, that was the issue the driver apparently took umbrage with. The driver might have thought that the OP’s son was being rude by not speaking to him but his behaviour was unacceptable.

OP, I would raise this with the bus company so they can address any gaps in the driver’s training/knowledge or attitude depending on what was going on with him.

I don’t think mums and/or dads are lowlifes, clearly you have never been a mother or a father with a child that’s just gone to sleep on a packed yes packed bus.

you have never being a mother or a father who has had to wait for two or three buses because there was no room because it’s full and they have driven straight passed, or an electric mobility scooter that takes up all the space and more is there, or a wheelchair user is already there, or prams are there already, and you must get your child to child care and then yourself to work, or a doctors appointment or a hospital appointment

Really low to call a parent of a newborn “lowlife”

Maybe one of those assisted communication divices would be helpful for your DS? AAC I think they’re called? Have a look into them! My nephew used to use one and it was great for him.

Report it to the company, but I doubt you’ll have much luck.

None of that means it's ok for drivers to act in a discriminatory way. No one was being deliberately awkward.

I'm not stupid, of course we only have one side of the story, please tell me when we have both sides of the story on mn?
And I still stand by what I originally said and not sure of your point to my response.

Definitely report ..they may review the cctv on the bus …certainly worth trying to change this drivers attitude

Sorry OP..hope your DS realises the bus driver is the problem 🍀

Contact the company, they won't want bad press. The driver needs educating