To report bus driver that bullied DS

[Projecap]

Ds is 15 and autistic, he has SM and has really struggled in education and making friends. His secondary school weren't supportive at all and In the end I pulled him out to protect his mental health. He took last year out, doing little bits of work but mostly recovering as his anxiety was so bad.

In September, he startedcollege and he's doing really well, he made a friend and he really looks out for DS and seems to understand him and most importantly has never pressured him to talk to him, most their communication is DS writing things down on his phone etc.

Before Christmas he shocked me by saying he wanted to get the bus to college with his friend at the start of the new term, I was driving him in but I was open to let him try. Because of his expensive bus passes are I had been giving him money for a day saver each day, his friend would speak for him and ask for the ticket and for the past 2 weeks there had been no issues

However, this morning when they got on the bus the driver was quite rude to DS and wouldn't give the ticket to DS if his friend was asking, he was telling DS to stop being rude, it wasn't hard and was getting quite annoyed that he was holding the bus up. His friend admitted he got kind of rude back and told him it wasn't hard to just give DS the ticket either. In the end they just got off and went to McDonald’s as DS had got stressed and he told me this afternoon there were older people that go to the same college on the bus and they were all staring at him - it's a public bus though.

The friend called me using DS’s phone and when I got there DS had calmed down but he wanted to go home and sleep. He seems ok now but he's torn between wanting to try the bus again, me taking him and not wanting to go at all, he's sort of going in circles with it.Im furious and worry this has now set him back

I tried calling the bus company but got no answer earlier, a friend said they wont do much and it's happened now, so is it?

I'd report this. I wouldn't expect bus drivers to be experts on the nuances of all forms of disability and would be prepared to allow some grace for getting things a bit wrong. In this case all he had to do was take the money, hand over the ticket and get on with the route, he's not the bloody etiquette police.

The driver was wrong. You should put a complaint online, I don't think there is much more you can do.

But if your son find it difficult to communicate, buying a ticket each day doesn't seem to be the most helpful strategy for him.
I know each area is different, but I would be very surprised if the bus company didn't have an app to buy tickets on. Having travelled to many cities, albeit mostly in the south, I'm yet to find a bus company that does not.
It's usually cheaper as well, and they includes the exact same ticket types as those available on the bus, including daily savers.

Your comprehension is poor.

Can you get or make your son a card that he can hand to the bus driver in this kind of situation? I realise that may not work, so you should look into e-tickets or contactless as well, or buying the ticket at a machine - it's been years since I've had to speak to anyone to buy a ticket!

I think that is more practical and will help your son more in the long run than telling off the driver. Being unable to speak is unusual and they need to keep the bus moving

I'm not saying it justifies how this one behaved but a lot of drivers now seem to really hate selling tickets with cash.

I have a son who has SM and I would 100% report this, the bus driver needs educating.

It's infuriating when your child manages to take a step forward and incidents like this can make them take 2 steps back.

It's great to hear your son has a friend who is there to support him and is able to speak up on his behalf if and when needed. My son too has a great supportive friend who speaks up for him through his own choice. There is some lovely people out there.

@Passaggressfedup this was my first thought too. Why on earth would a bus driver get cross about one person buying two tickets for himself and the other person getting on the bus with him? It literally must make no sense. This kind of interaction must make up around 1 in 3 purchases on a bus. Driver will deal with this hundreds of times a day and besides, it would make the driver the opposite of cross anyway because it's one transaction less that needs to be processed, less time and less faff. It's a pretty frequent and usual occurrence on the bus and the opposite of extra work for the driver. There must be way more to this story because it makes no sense otherwise.

To be honest the amount of crap and abuse that bus drivers have to put up with on a daily basis I am not surprised that some of them somewhat blunt when dealing with anything that deviates from the norm.

This is the one I've seen. And what a wonderful friend your son has. ❤️

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I’m sorry that happened but it isn’t bullying.

That doesn't mean they did nothing. It means you weren't going to be getting an update.

YANBU! What an absolute pig!

I'm so glad your son has such a lovely supportive friend though x

What’s the update, op, is ds okay? xx

@Projecap

we only have one side of the story. The bus driver on the other hand will have CCTV to show exactly what happened

I read it differently, assuming the friend already has a pass which is cheaper and the norm, so he shows his pass and then asks for the daysaver for OP's DS, who hands over the right money for this. The bus driver refused to issue the ticket unless OP's DS actually spoke.

So then DS has not spoken, because he can't and his friend has quite understandably gotten rude with the driver who could just hand over the ticket instead of acting like a prick.

Lucky for you, you've not come across people who decide its their job to force a disabled person to do something they can't do - I've met loads of them - most notably, a psychologist I had gone to see regarding eating disorders, decided I did not need my wheelchair and could get out of it and sit elsewhere. She concluded this because my chair was obviously one I had bought myself (yes. With an NHS voucher) because it was purple, not grey, and therefore I obviously didn't need it and it was all in my mind. She really wouldn't let it go, it was a very bizarre situation and it turned out she had no idea what my physical disability was nor in fact that I have one and had just lept to the conclusion that the wheelchair was some sort of affectation!

No. HTH.

I am so sorry this happened. I have a daughter (much younger) with SM and this is devastating for you both. What a knock back. I'm sorry. I would contact the bus company and complain. I would explain what SM is and say how they may need to retrain their driver. Make sure you mention key words like disability and inclusion so they know it's serious.

As someone who suffered from anxiety, I hope your son feels he can get the bus with his friend again once you have made the complaint. It is such a big step that he felt able to and I'm glad he's made a good friend.

Wheelchair users have won victories against bus companies??????

There isn’t a law that gives wheelchair users priority over buggies, and if you are talking about the man in South London he didn’t win - he was told in no uncertain terms including on the BBC News, if buggy users don’t want to unload/fold buggy and gave all possessions on their knee they don’t have to.

it is pure fabrication about wheelchair users LEGALLY having priority - they don’t.

Ho hum.

I would definitely complain.

So?! Good on his friend for this.

The OP says yes

"His friend admitted he got kind of rude back"

But if what they're saying about the driver is true, he definitely deserved it imo.

What an absolute gem the friend is. Your DS is lucky to have them.

bus driver was a prick.

So it's okay for the bus driver to bully a young person, or bully anyone by your call?

Yes, but that poster was in bad faith, trying to imply the kid had done something wrong. I don’t think responding in kind counts as being rude. It’s just standing up for yourself or a friend.

Sorry OP i can imagine how furious you must be. So sad this happened to your son. Not reading thread but just want to say YES i’d be 1. Reporting driver for harassment / being a twat 2. Demanding to know what training is delivered to drivers (discrimination/inclusivity/ND awareness etc) 3. I would temporarily make other arrangements for son getting home, and that same day, I would board that exact bus with his friend and hold up the line of people while I rip the driver a new one. X