Stranger writes a note re loud chat in café, who is BU?

[FrodoBiggins]

Just read this online and it sounded like a classic AIBU so thought the good citizens of Mumsnet democracy should be allowed to consider.

'A stranger handed me a note saying I was speaking too loud in a cafe - it was mortifying' Metro | News story

YABU - Team green pen - talking lady is BU and should shh
YANBU - Team cat owner - note leaver was nosey and pass agg

I’ve noticed this phenomenon a lot with friends and family. Some people just aren’t aware of those around them. They just talk as loudly as they want and would be entirely bemused to get such a note. Others are aware of others. Is it learned behaviour? Because I see it amplified with parents out and about with their kids, encouraging them to shout and scream because - self-expression! So why would those kids ever think to modify their volume in future?

Anyone who writes in green ink is the type of person who sends Mrs Angry letters to the newspapers.

I wonder if people with loud blasting voices are sometimes those that watch a lot of YouTube or TikTok videos and unconsciously adopt a similar high presenter voice where it's not appropriate.

I wasn't in the cafe when this sorry scene took place however on reading this I find loud designer cat woman to be the most annoying.

I love a green ink pen because of how it looks.

Talk about making snap judgements about someone because of the colour of the ink they use. Fucking ridiculous!

The note writer was the reasonable one here. It's awful having to listen to every detail of an overly loud person's conversation.

It's a well known thing. Newspaper editors refer to them as the green ink brigade.

Same here. I have several fountain pens, all with different ink colours, and will often pick green just for the fun of it, and, no, I don't write complaint letters or poison pen letters with it - for formal complaints, I use the computer and print in black!! As you say, the other poster(s) just making lazy stereotypical nonsense. I've written love letters to boyfriends in green and sometimes write greetings cards, personal letters to family etc in green.

I absolutely loath loud talkers in cafes or pubs, but wouldn't actually do anything about it. I have a very loud friend, she embarsses me. I don't think she can tone it down though, it seems innate.

I'm sure we have all encountered the loud, lack of consideration talkers and laughers in cafes and the like. I suspect the woman who received the note was indeed unreasonable.

Also, and I can only speak for myself but I'd be absolutely mortified to be handed a note like that. I'd be self-reflecting and asking my trusted people if I really am too loud. The last thing I'd be thinking about is the other person's handwriting or ink colour.

Miu miu is absolutely gorgeous. I wonder if he has a very loud miaow.

Or could be an auditor? Nothing wrong with having a green pen. I have several.

Loud woman clearly likes being centre of attention, given the number of photos she gave to the paper - I’m guessing she even wrote the story. Complete PITA to be sat near but I’d probably stick to filthy looks and the occasional tut instead of a note!

What's TABBU? X

?

Pita?

What actually does TABBU stand for please??

Last sentence of the post you quoted -
They Are Both Being Unreasonable.

Ah....thanks!

Pain In The Arse. Sorry, can't help you with ESH from your other post.

Ah...yes....thanks! X

Everyone Sucks Here

You realise you don’t have to shout or speak loudly to deaf people? If you are facing them and speaking clearly then they will be most likely lip reading you and it’s highly highly offensive to speak very loudly/shout to deaf people!

I was once sat on a long haul night flight in front of a woman who was loud, kept being rude to her husband, and talked incessantly. Around 2h after the lights went off I couldn't cope any more and had to ask her to shut up (my words were much politer than that, something along the lines of could she keep her voice down as it was the middle of the night and people around her were trying to sleep). Her husband gave me a big grateful smile, as did others around me. She went silent for a minute or two then started aggressively whispering at her husband. He got up and moved 😂

Loud cat lady is the UR annoyance here, seems very much like an attention seeking arse!

Loud children get told to be quiet all the time - usually a lot more loudly and harshly (by an annoying loud adult funnily enough).

So why shouldn’t a loud adult be told to be quiet? Loud adults are far more annoying anyway. The woman who sent her the note was quiet and didn’t embarrass her in front of anyone so I’d say she was treated nicely.