Where do you hide your running away fund

[Somuchsugarinoneday]

If you have one?

I’m soon going to be working more hours and earning almost double what Dp does. I’m not planning to run away, but I do want to save that money and Dp is hopeless with money and it all gets frittered away somehow.
I want/need to save the money for an important reason-medical tests and help for my ill Dd and then possibly a trip to Disneyland in a year or so. I plan to work very hard for as long as this opportunity presents itself and to save as much as possible.
I’m thinking cash in a larger envelope, but where? My thoughts are in a high up picture frame in Dd’s bedroom, but i’m not sure 🤔

Where do you hide yours, if you even do?

You're going to be paid thousands of pounds (or whatever the currency is) in cash each month?

So strange.

Terrible security issues around that .

DH knows I have lots of my own savings/investments - he even helped me set up the investments. We call it my running away fund - he earns a lot more than me and almost all of it was money he has given to me at various times when he gets bonuses.

Keeping thousands in cash might not be the best idea, but good to keep some in case of emergency.

For anyone with a "running away" fund it only a matter of time before divorce comes. As I say the marriage is already over the minute you think you need a running away fund.

Don't get me wrong it is sensible planning - but as soon you start the planning you are on the road to the end.

If the marriage was still alive you'd have a conversation and have both parties holding some of the cash in an honest open way rather than lying about it.

Nonsense.
The idea of a running away fund is that you may or may not ever need it.
It's like insurance.

It doesn't have to be a secret.

The OP clearly has a LOT of issues which she's chosen not to talk about.

But for most women it's to have some independence. And they don't end up in a refuge or homeless if something dreadful happens.

I've had a 'running away 'fund for 40 years.
I've never used it. DH knows I have my own savings, ISAs etc.
I don't call it a running away fund. I call it being an independent person.

It's there in case I ever need my own money.

As many PPs have said just open another account in your name only use a different bank. I don't receive any paperwork from any of the banks I use, I have accounts with 3 banks.

If it not a secret then there is no breach of trust. That is what people generally do.

In this thread it is about hiding it. In that case the trust is gone and the marriage is over. There is no way you would be defending men hiding assets in a divorce like this.

In general, men don't need to because in many marriages they are the higher earner. Many nasty men control the money.

They have income and pensions which many women lose out on when they reduce their work to bring up children.

This is exactly what the OP has done.

It's only half way through this thread that she has alluded to deep problems within the marriage and needs to get out.

My sympathy is with her.
Your point about 'trust' is misplaced.

It sounds as if this marriage is over.
Some women (literally) fear for their lives if in an abusive marriage.
If she wants to hide her income to set herself free, that's not wrong.

But things have changed an awful lot since 1925! It sort of made sense when women didn't have equal opportunities in the workplace but now they do. Women can make their own money and support themselves, they don't need to squirrel money away from their husband's.

As long as they've got a job, they've got independence. Why do they need more?

As others have said, women often lose out economically when children come along - even in this day and age.

ETA To be fair, women have equal opportunities in theory; in practice, that's the not the same.

Your bank account is private but they may write to you, do you have someone you can have correspondence sent to? Alternatively they can send letters to branch if you explain why. I have post for a lady experiencing domestic abuse coming to my church currently, we can’t do as much as I would like because you can’t interfere but I can do this for her

You're not very imaginative.

Many women earn a pittance so 'having a job' doesn't mean they have savings.

Have you never read the 1000s of posts here from women stuck in violent or abusive marriages? They can't leave because they have no money for a deposit for a rental.

How old are you?

Even in 2026 the vast majority of women earn less than men, usually because they take time out for childcare.
They often work part time.

Do some basic research on the ONS about women's earnings.

Having equal pay for the same jobs doesn't translate into the reality of a full time salary at the top of the scale in their career.

I have 2 ‘just in case’ accounts in my name only even though I hope I never need to use them. DH is aware of one of them as the ‘reno’ account

Do not keep lots of cash in your house as your home insurance will not cover it if anything was to happen. Open yourself a savings account or ISA and set up a standing order from your account

Women have only had a legal entitlement to equal pay for the last 50 years- there will be men on boards rn that grew up expecting women to be paid less than men. It would be naive to expect those formative years haven’t shaped their views.

What has my age got to do with anything? I'm in my late 50's if that's relevant. I've worked all of my life since uni, apart from during mat leave. For most of my married life, I was the higher earner.

It's not about how much women earn it's about equal opportunities to work. i.e in 1925, most women didn't work whereas 100 years later most women do, (because they have equal opportunities to do so). As long as they're earning, they have their own money so they don't need to squirrel.

(I don't need to do the research, it's my job to understand employee T&Cs).

Because you picked up on the PP's mum born in 1925 and don't seem to appreciate that for the vast majority of women they still earn less than men even 100 years later.

As long as they're earning, they have their own money so they don't need to squirrel.

Can't you see how it doesn't work that way for many women?
You appear to see this only from your own point of view as a 'higher earner'.

Earning money does not mean being able to be independent. Many women are working for the basic weekly wage. Part time jobs to fit in with children. Years not working at all, etc.
Many women use their income to go into the pot to buy food for the kids.

Older women your age often give up work/reduce hours to care for elderly parents.

It's simplistic to assume that just because a woman has a job she can support herself.

Employers' T&Cs- what's that got to do with it? You seem to have lead a sheltered and privileged life.

Oh wow. Are you saying that in 2026, women are incapable of supporting themselves?

You're living in the past, women have choices now.

'Sheltered and privileged'. 🤣🤣🤣

Do you think all women are graduates and earning relatively decent money?

I can't understand why you think ALL women can support themselves.

If someone is working on the minimum wage full time, it's unlikely on its own to fund a mortgage unless it's in the far north or areas of cheap housing.

It's not just women - it's men too.

Have you any idea of the cost of housing, rents, and deposits needed for a tenancy?

You do indeed sound as if you're not quite up to date regarding living costs now.

Choice is not just a matter of choosing. It's about having the intelligence for a start to gain qualifications. Do you think everyone can just choose to be a lawyer, a doctor, an investment banker, or a teacher or a nurse?

There are millions of people on the minimum wage which is never going to buy a home, or even a rental in the SE.

My own account, NS&I 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP is earning her own money? She just wants to put some of her increased earning in a place she can access but he can’t - presumably because he’s shit with money and spends it all or he’s financially abusive and will put it somewhere she can’t access quickly and easily to stop her from leaving the relationship or making decisions in the relationship.
Having some money in a fund only you can access doesn’t mean you are planning to hide in the case of a divorce either. You just might need it to leave the family home and put a deposit on a rental, for example. Or to pay a lawyer.

As others have said just choose paperless when you set I it up. Or go with an online bank, there are loads like Monzo and Chase. Definitely don't keep cash around the house!

Maybe a running away fund makes you feel you have “options “ is this about papering over the cracks ‘ do you have a fear of economic insecurity in the future ?

I hid cash under my kitchen cupboards for a few years to save for my husband's 30th birthday. I took him to New York on Concorde, it was a long time ago!
One day he must have knocked the plinth with his foot, he bent down to put it back and found the stash of cash.
He phoned his sister to say I he'd found my Running away stash! 😅

By the way I'm not 95 and I still have a little cash pot, which helps out in emergencies, but I do agree with the Premium Bond idea, the money is safe and there's always a chance you could win.