Where do you hide your running away fund

[Somuchsugarinoneday]

If you have one?

I’m soon going to be working more hours and earning almost double what Dp does. I’m not planning to run away, but I do want to save that money and Dp is hopeless with money and it all gets frittered away somehow.
I want/need to save the money for an important reason-medical tests and help for my ill Dd and then possibly a trip to Disneyland in a year or so. I plan to work very hard for as long as this opportunity presents itself and to save as much as possible.
I’m thinking cash in a larger envelope, but where? My thoughts are in a high up picture frame in Dd’s bedroom, but i’m not sure 🤔

Where do you hide yours, if you even do?

You’re starting a new job where you will be paid in cash and then you have to pay taxes etc out of that cash? Is it some kind of business rather than you being an employee?
If you’re starting up a little business, say a dog walking business, good practice would be to open up a bank account for that business. All money earned (by cash or bank transfer) should promptly go into that account. And no other money. This will make doing your taxes much much easier. Income for each month = the sum of all the deposits for that month. Expenses = withdrawals (label them). Then you can pay yourself out of that account each month (again, label it) as well, leaving plenty for taxes etc.
If you’re starting up a business and your current knowledge of accounting is that keeping your business’ earnings in an envelope of cash behind a picture frame is a good idea, then you would benefit from some professional advice. Could you pay for an hour with an accountant specializing in small businesses? They could give you advice about how to manage paying yourself/setting aside money for taxes etc.

in the bank would be a safer option

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Why would it be any more of a piss-take than stashing cash around the house? You have an entirely valid reason for doing this, and anyway it's up to you to decide what you do with money you earn.

I squirrelled mine away in a savings account attached to my current account……both were in my name only. Even if my ex did open my bank statement, back in the day they were posted out, he only saw my current account balance but not the savings account !
Do not save cash, it earns no interest and is easily lost or stolen and you can earn up to £1000 in interest on savings before paying tax on it.

You can opt to have NO statements by post, there’s an option for emailing those instead., in fact, many banks prefer paperless communication now.

I don’t have a “running away fund”. I have personal savings and joint savings with my husband. He doesn’t know how much savings I have (and I don’t him) although I’d say if he asked. If we are saving for something together we have joint savings for that. And savings for the kids that only access (because I set them up but we jointly pay into).

Thats not true. I’ve opened a few online accounts.

Do your wages currently go into your joint account?

I'd set up a new account in just your name at a different bank account. Then transfer your old wages, or a slight increase but not the full increase amount into the joint account each month going forward.

You aren't married and do not have to put your full wages into the joint account for him to fritter away.

Then I'd stick a set amount each month into an ISA at the same bank as your solo account. That way he can't access it and fritter it away, and it won't be instant access for you either making it a good savings pot.

Another old school option is wearable gold.

When I was in an abusive relationship I hid an envelope of cash in my mum's house. But this was at risk of fire, flood, burglary, etc. It was a risky short term thing that I wouldn't recommend.

Like another pp suggested, you need to open a business account as the money will be earnings from your business. From this, you need to pay tax, NI & business related expenses. So it's not as simple as opening a savings account & hiding the money there.

Like another pp suggested, you need to open a business account as the money will be earnings from your business. From this, you need to pay tax, NI & business related expenses. So it's not as simple as opening a savings account & hiding the money there.

There is really no need to use a different bank. MrG and I both bank at the same branch - it's one of those rare creatures that still has actual high street offices! He has his own current account, into which his income gets paid, plus a savings account. I have the same. We also have a joint account for bills, general house spending etc.

When we look at our accounts online, he can see the ones in his name (including the joint one) and I can see the ones in mine (also including the joint one). I cannot see his personal accounts and he cannot see mine.

I would never ever have a joint account with anyone. Never have, never will. ESPECIALLY one where both wages go in, I just think it's a recipe for disaster. At a push you could have one you both pay into for bills only. I think this is what you need to do or your going to be paying for his mistakes and it sounds like you need a running away fund.

How much money are we talking about here?

With my first marriage everything was joint and I had some money in a purse under clothes in a drawer. And I needed it.

Now everything is electronic, we each have some separate accounts mainly investments and then our main is a joint account. It works really well for us and if anything happens (more likely to die these days) then we each have funds we can access until everything is unfroze and accessible. I think we should all have some investments or savings of our own

Why do you need to hide it at all? Pay your salary into a solo account, transfer enough for your half of the bills into the joint account, and tell him why. It sounds like you've made many attempts to talk about his financial irresponsibility and he's refused to change. When someone won't listen, it's time to stop talking - and take action.

Set up an online bank account. Check that all of the boxes are ticked/unticked for paperless correspondence. Use an email address he doesn't know about if necessary. Check how to pay cash into the online account - in the UK I believe you can do it via the post office, so I would hope there is a local equivalent. Good luck!

I wouldn’t usually think it’s ok to hide money except in DA cases and a true running away fund is needed. Most of our savings are in my name, largely for tax purposes.

he earns the lion share of our money, but I am entirely in control of our finances. I determine what goes in savings, on mortgage and in spend accounts. He is completely aware of what is held where though and I would never hide anything from him but he doesn’t really have access to the savings.

I am very strict - once the fun money is gone it’s gone (for both of us). We are, however aligned on financial goals.

The other posters are right about just setting up a paperless easy access savings account in your name. I just wouldn’t personally keep it a secret is the vast majority of situations - even when someone is terrible with money. I don’t think it will end well in the end. if someone pulled a Disney holiday out their arse because they’d been hiding money I would personally be cross.

If you’re planning on leaving him anyway then I guess it makes no difference.

Are you safe?
I would open more than one account, that way if he finds one. you are only going to lose half.
Most post offices have a facility where you can despot cash into most banks.
He shouldn’t find out about these accounts if you ask to go completely paperless.
Ive never had any written communication other than a cash card from Monzo, which you may not need?
Would you be able to provide a paper trail if asked by one of these accounts where the cash is coming from?
Would he force you to share this money if he discovered it, how would he do this if you didn’t have a cash card?

Yes. Sometimes they will send the odd letter snail mail such as informing you of an interest rate change, or trying to sell you insurance or something.

Yeah don't do cash, it will devalue, and it's not safe from theft or discovery.

Just open a new savings account and have it set up so you don't get paper mail from them.

I had money in an envelope too. It went missing. So apart from some emergency cash that you can afford to loose, I would be a bit wary. I think you might always be on edge if it gets found.

I second the others on setting up a separate account (ensuring you opt for paperless). I personally wouldn't use the same bank just encase they say something in passing.

It's always wise to have your own separate money, they don't need to know. It's our security - even the best relationships could go sour.

Personally, I would just be honest but firm. I would just say that now that you are earning a bit extra you would like to put some of it in a savings account, then open one with just your name on it, or even one that needs both of your signatures to access money. Whether you say why is up to you.
I just don't like secrets in a relationship and they always get exposed sometime.

In an envelope?! 😂 crikey.

I don’t have a running away fund. I just call it my savings. My DP knows I have it, and I own the house we live in.

I find it very odd that you’ve called it a running away fund, then backtracked to say actually it’s just to save for a holiday and medical bills 🫤

I find it bonkers you are referring to this as your "running away fund" if you need a running away fund something is seriously not right.

If you'd asked "do you have a bank account/savings in just your name?" Yes I do, I have the same account I opened aged 16 and my husband has his own too where our wages are paid, plus our own isas, then we have a joint account we pay all bills and anything else from 50/50. We don't think of our money as mine and yours but we have money in our own names neither can get at technically, but if we lost our jobs or something happened to either of us we could use that money (well unless we were in a coma!). It isn't a secret what's in there. If we ever divorced it'd be split equally, so there's no point keeping it a secret. Granted I'm not with someone who is bad with money or abusive so I wouldn't call it "running away money", it's just my own savings but we can all use it if we needed to.

Why can't you just open a bank account/isa in your name and tell your husband? Why must it be a secret if you aren't in an abusive relationship? If it has to be a secret you should be taking steps to end your relationship now, not saving for disneyland.

Open an ISA, double check that it’s all online only. I use trading 212 and have never had paperwork.

You can add £20k per year and any interest or dividends created within it are tax free.

Make sure your salary is into a separate account and have a joint account that you both transfer a set amount too. Ours covers bills and food only. The rest is your own.