Where do you hide your running away fund

[Somuchsugarinoneday]

If you have one?

I’m soon going to be working more hours and earning almost double what Dp does. I’m not planning to run away, but I do want to save that money and Dp is hopeless with money and it all gets frittered away somehow.
I want/need to save the money for an important reason-medical tests and help for my ill Dd and then possibly a trip to Disneyland in a year or so. I plan to work very hard for as long as this opportunity presents itself and to save as much as possible.
I’m thinking cash in a larger envelope, but where? My thoughts are in a high up picture frame in Dd’s bedroom, but i’m not sure 🤔

Where do you hide yours, if you even do?

Get an online bank account eg moneybox, mettle, Monzo, revoult etc
Online bank statements are usually by default.

Please don’t hide that sort of cash in your house in case you are burgled or the house burns down or your DP accidentally throws it away or lends it to someone (eg the suitcase idea).

Even if you go for paperless they generally will send some sort of letter eg a pin at the beginning. I would open an account he knows about and then a different one at the same bank.

Why don't you just put any spare cash straight into your pension?

An envelope stuffed with cash and hidden in the house is discoverable and can be taken. I would argue an online bank account is far safer. Even if it is traced the money can’t just be taken.

When I ran, it was not planned. I just had whatever was in my bank account. If things are good, why bother? If things are bad, just go.

Because I need the premium bond money to be accessible within the next 12 months. I would ideally prefer it in my pension for the long term benefits but circumstances are such that I need a savings buffer available.

Now I am at max holdings any spare winnings or spare cash can go into my pension.

There are some accounts where any statements etc only appear online.

You might be able to request that any communication is only done via the app or by email.

There are several online accounts that operate solely online. You can opt out of any written correspondence. Open one of those. Monzo, starling, revolution, Lloyd’s, etc. Surely he isn’t monitoring so closely that he would notice one letter addressed to you annually in a plain envelope. If he does then I would start to wonder whether you are in a controlling relationship. I personally wouldn’t have a joint account with some one who I wasn’t married to and was shit with money.

This makes zero sense. How do you get paid? Cash? I don’t think so. Your employer surely pays into a bank account so your husband sees the unless you can get paid into 2 accounts?

Paid cash, it’s common where I am

I loathe these threads. Why even bother being in a ‘committed’ long term relationship if you’re going to hide money from your partner? Can you imagine all the shocked gasps and pearl clutching if a man dared to hide even two pence from his wife??!!

in case anyone didn’t get that, I don’t have a running away fund because I don’t feel the need for one.

Depends where this 'running away fund' cash is coming from, if you have any side hussles or income your other half is unaware of you can have another bank account of your very own!

With an app called Chip (similar to Monzo). They’ve never sent any paper correspondence to me in three years of being with them.

People have said Premium Bonds, but I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned that you have to wait a few days to get your money, so it’s not instantly accessible which in some cases wouldn’t be helpful.

i have cash in empty bottles on my dresser. and some in a safe that only i have the key to. its lying in a obvious place (the key) but you know what men are like and finding stuff!

I think the minute you think you need to plan a running away fund is the minute you should be looking for a divorce. The trust is gone at that point.

"I want/need to save the money for an important reason-medical tests and help for my ill Dd and then possibly a trip to Disneyland in a year or so"

Haven't RTFT but the title is misleading if you call it a "running away fund" and then say actually it's for something else. And if it's really for medical tests / going to Disneyland can you not say so?
People have given advice in good faith but the whole thing sounds a bit of a muddle.

I have no need to hide my Fuck Off Fund

Fair play girl 👏🏼

You wont be able to pay a trip to disneyland in cash. So just get a bank account.
If dp asks just say you are putting money aside for dd.
Simple

Aside from the hiding cash situation, you're not married so if anything were to happen to either of you, who gets what regarding the house and other assets, because as it stands your DD is both your next of kin. So you both should at least make wills if you haven't done so already. As for 'hiding' cash in the house, burglars always know where to look - and what if there was a fire?

shades of Jessica in the Nancy Mitford novels.

I think having a “fcuk off fund” when in a relationship is like having “good fences which make good neighbours”

it’s a state between fully dependent and fully independent which provides options.

Agreed.

My mum - born 1925 - always counselled that wives should have some money of their own set aside “Just in case”.

I would say that many of the threads that I’ve read on Mumsnet suggest that Mum’s advice was sensible. Some men don’t show their true character straight away.

The house is in both our names

Not really.
It's not about trust surely. It's the reality that 40% of marriages end in divorce and even more relationship where couples live together.

Think of all the women who hang out here and for whatever reason need or want to leave. There are too many saying they don't have a deposit for a rental, can't move out etc etc.

If a woman is earning, she ought to keep some of that in her own account.
I've worked since I was 16- Saturday jobs- and when I married in my 30s I had several savings accounts.

My earnings when I was married went into my account and I moved some over to our joint account.

I couldn't ever be in a situation where I had no access to money (allowing of course for a division of assets if we divorce.)

Has this been answered? Most accounts now are paperless and online banking. You can choose which you want.