To be at a loss as to how to get 9 year-old to eat healthily?

[ScaredOfFlying]

I’m really keen to raise DS with healthy eating habits but he’s getting worse as he gets older.

Does anyone have any tried and tested ways to get a child this age to eat any of the following?

Leafy greens
Salad
Beans, lentils, chickpeas
fish
Vegetable soup
Corn on the cob
any form of fruit
whole egg not just yolk

Until he was about 6 he would happily eat broccoli, now he pushes it to the side and has to be forced to eat it. Same with fruit, used to be fine but now hates it. Went from loving tuna to making vomit noises at it. Used to love eggs but now will only eat yolk that does not touch the white. Ate veg curry as a toddler but now rejects it.

He is an only child so no siblings to model/cajole him. DH and I model very healthy and varied eating, it’s almost like he is rebelling. He is bright and we’ve tried science/nutrition explanations, to no avail. He will refuse even a single mouthful of something new and it’s clear that he has decided in advance to say that he hates the food. Stand offs of the “eat what you are given or go hungry variety” result in huge arguments and we absolutely do not want to make food into a battleground.

Help! Will he maybe just grow out of it?

What about fish pie? Not that dissimilar to jacket and cheese in texture.

How about trying sweet potatoes and cheese instead of a white jacket and cheese?

Or sweet potato chips instead of white potato chips with the sausages?

Does he like cucumber? Kiwi? Pears? Grapes? Berries? Cherries? All pretty inoffensive fruit.

If he doesn't like egg whites and tuna and brocolli it may be high histamine foods, and brassica veg which can have a bitter and sulfrous taste, which is too much for a kids palatte.

I'm very much of the shug and "that's all there is" variety of parent.

They can eat it or not. The only alternative I'll ever provide is bread and butter or an apple.

That being said, the things I cook are usually things I have already seen them eat and enjoy. Or the food is very similar to, or has overlapping ingredients, to things I know they already like.
For example, I know they like cottage pie and I know they like fish fingers. So something like a fish pie isn't a million miles away.

I had friends who grated a couple of carrots into bolognaise, you couldn't tell and their son ate it, no problem.

I often do a rainbow salad so put out veggies or salad in stripes on a big plate. For some reason kids don’t always like mixed stuff. I find kids will will pick. I serve family style so help yourself but you eat what you take bar a little bit to try. Leftovers get recycled into soups/ omelettes / egg fried rice.

Our kids are younger but we also just offer 1 meal option. So they eat it or they don't, but we won't offer anything else. 80% of the time, it's also the same meal for all of us, so we don't do "child meals".

We also have yogurt and fruits for dessert every meal (sometime something more fancy on the weekend like cake), but that's only on offer if they eat their veg (or try if it's new or something we know they aren't keen on).

I'd agree that what he eats isn't awful. My son won't eat many vegetables so I just give him the ones he will eat with every meal (cucumber, tomato, raw carrot (reluctantly) mushrooms, peas, runner beans)

As far as chilli is concerned I use baked beans in mine which makes it sweeter and stops my kids picking out the beans.

My son will eat most fruit (he wouldn't choose it but eats it if given to him) so I try to always give him some for breakfast. I know when he's eating away from home it won't involve any fruit or veg so I also give him a vitamin daily.

Really insightful and helpful post, thank you so much.

Whoever said 'the body makes its own vitamins' was incorrect, apart from Vit D which is made when your skin is exposed to sunlight. In fact, the definition of a vitamin is based on the word 'vital' i.e. necessary.

“what is the worst that can happen if you have a mouthful of food that you don’t like? We’re even fine with spitting it out.”

Rest assured that we are very aware of the psychological consequences of pushing things too much.”

This doesn’t make sense. How would your child have a mouthful of something they clearly don’t want without you pushing? And if this situation does arise then clearly you have pushed too much and thus you do not realise the negative consequences of this.

My kids don't like most of the things you're hoping your son will eat, but I class my kids as good eaters! They have always been exposed to a range of flavours and international cuisines so love trying different foods. But they hate eggs, chick peas etc - it's such a shame!

However I don't think you need to eat those specific foods you've listed to be healthy. As long as you are fulfilling his nutritional needs and support him to develop a positive relationship with food, he'll be fine. Have a look at some dietitians resources - they don't enforce a strict view of food, it's more about nutrition.

Fuel him to grow big and strong, and to avoid getting sick. He may grow to like those things with time. But he also might not. Don't stress too much if it doesn't look like a certain type of diet you've been used to associating with healthiness.

Sure whatevs. Pushing and pushing TOO MUCH are different things.

If what situation does arise?

God forbid anyone just asks for a few tips and recipes on here, every single post is taken as an excuse to lay into people about their parenting, it’s like some sort of sport. Based on wildly-imagined scenarios.

Anyway we have just had a very successful Sunday lunch of slow-cooked Greek lamb with beans in a rich tomato sauce and he wolfed it down. Mostly because we got loads of fresh air earlier and he was very hungry. [waits for chorus of “You are STARVING your child to make him eat what you cook, you will damage him for life…”]

I really don't think his diet sounds that bad but if you want to get particular foods such as beans or leafy greens in then you'll have to just blitz them for now and sneak them in, they'll be barely noticeable. If there's a certain sauce or flavour he really likes you could experiment with trying fish that way as it already has a flavour he enjoys. There'll always be things people just don't like though.

Absolutely this 👍

As a family do you enjoy food? We have always made meals together from them being very young. Always eaten together and had people drop in at mealtimes. Mine are quite nosey, have been since babies and would never think of getting down from the table in case they missed something.
I put all the food on dishes on the table and let them help themselves. It is more sociable anx they are not over faced by having to eat food they don’t enjoy.
i did also engage in some trickery adding finely broccoli into cheese soufflé which they all loved, serving beetroot as a creamed soup, adding lentils to pretty much every cooked casserole type food. They loved dips and would munch on raw veg while dipping. They were allowed to add their own toppings to home made pizza and could make pasta from scratch, if was easy to get them to eat the sauce if they had turned the handle on the pasta machine! Some foods some people don’t like, I love corn on the cob, two of my kids hate it bug I am not sure it is hugely important in diet.
if you can make meal times fun, think Italian families! It works.

Are you always so hostile? Were you hostile to.your kids?

Horrible person

I don’t hate the ‘two bites’ rule. And yes I know that others disagree and will have all sorts of stories…save them don’t care.

It’s not draconian to have that rule and it does keep the palate open. Sadly for my mum it didn’t work with me and beets. But to this day when they’re on the table I dutifully take my two bites and it doesn’t kill me.

Everything else I just tolerated and eventually as a n adult like to one degree or another. I don’t go out of my way to eat fish, but will if I’m in the mood or if I’m in a place with local fish.

Having the rule just eliminated the fight…it was the rule that was followed and that was that. Outside of the two bites I had full autonomy to eat what I wanted. I grew up with no food issues from it and have always had had a healthy relationship with food. It’s fuel first and foremost and something that can be enjoyed.

That being said I think some of your attitude may be a little lofty or overreaching so don’t let perfect get in the way of good enough with what he’s eating.

In my house there are two options, the supper that I have cooked, or wholemeal bread, cheese and tomatoes & cucumber, but if my ds chooses that, he has to get it out of the fridge himself, and tidy away after.

I wouldn't put up with a child making vomiting noises. They don't eat until they can behave sensibly.

I don't know the answer I'm afraid, we have a nine year old who will eat most things I serve up and a six year old who had a tantrum last night because salmon was for dinner even though last week she loved salmon. I would just really like a meal time where we could all truly enjoy the same foods - I don't want to live off beige foods and I don't want to have to cook twice.

Don’t offer alternatives! Once i gave my son veggies for lunch, he refused eating them and I told him that s your dinner. At dinner time, he refused again. He went to be with no dinner. Guess what his breakfast was? The same veggies! Let me tell you that he happily ate them and never complained about veggies again 😂

Sounds fine to me. I used to be that fussy and gradually improved as an adult. Stop worrying about it so much and teach him to cook

some kids are just fussy and stay that way . I have a 15 and 17 year old who know what they like and eat a balanced , though in the case of one of them - not very varied , diet . Over time more things get added and some things get abandoned. I think that’s normal and 10 is still young so expect more variation. Some of it could be about control .

Can’t help on the fish - both DS hate it . My suggestions are Lentil Dahl for the pulses or adding lentils to your chilli’s and spaghetti bols ( I don’t think they notice ) . Spinach ( we wilt it into the Dahl and they will eat that . Other green veg - how about Cauliflower Cheese with your roast ? Or something like making tempura veg . My kids also like a Mezze - humous , falafel and whatever picky bits you think he will try . I think there is something that makes them try finger food. Another favourite with mine is peanut satay sauce with stir fry and rice . Chickpeas try roasting them in spices as a snack . Easy to do if the oven is on for a different meal

By all means get him cooking but in my experience whilst my youngest likes cooking he doesn’t necessarily wish to eat what he’s cooked ! So don’t be disappointed if your son is the same

Yes, there is a way - wait until he's older!

The one thing children can control in their lives is what goes into their. mouths and if they choose to exert that control there's not much you can do about it, beyond blitzing veg into the things they will eat.

Please don't force him to eat anything, it's horrible and counterproductive.

Mine was very fussy, now he's a teenager he will eat pretty much anything. It has to be through choice. Imagine someone forcing you to eat something you are repulsed by, day after day? Horrible!