To be at a loss as to how to get 9 year-old to eat healthily?

[ScaredOfFlying]

I’m really keen to raise DS with healthy eating habits but he’s getting worse as he gets older.

Does anyone have any tried and tested ways to get a child this age to eat any of the following?

Leafy greens
Salad
Beans, lentils, chickpeas
fish
Vegetable soup
Corn on the cob
any form of fruit
whole egg not just yolk

Until he was about 6 he would happily eat broccoli, now he pushes it to the side and has to be forced to eat it. Same with fruit, used to be fine but now hates it. Went from loving tuna to making vomit noises at it. Used to love eggs but now will only eat yolk that does not touch the white. Ate veg curry as a toddler but now rejects it.

He is an only child so no siblings to model/cajole him. DH and I model very healthy and varied eating, it’s almost like he is rebelling. He is bright and we’ve tried science/nutrition explanations, to no avail. He will refuse even a single mouthful of something new and it’s clear that he has decided in advance to say that he hates the food. Stand offs of the “eat what you are given or go hungry variety” result in huge arguments and we absolutely do not want to make food into a battleground.

Help! Will he maybe just grow out of it?

His existing diet really isn't so bad. If you just stop worrying about it and keep rotating between those existing meals, he'll be fine.

Obviously it would be better if his choices gradually expand as he gets older, and they probably will - IF you don't turn it into a battleground.

My kids were picky when younger and gradually expanded their range and now eat most things. Key for me were 1) Never force/insist 2) Allow self-serving at the table so they control their own portions 3) Don't have unhealthy snacks in the house they can fill up on, to ensure they do come to the table reasonably hungry.

Haha I know it’s not traditional but sometimes you have to employ creative methods to get nutrition into these unreasonable small people! I often sneak hummus into places where melted cheese is, like toasties or paninis, without them noticing.

It’s pretty common at that age to have a more restricted palette, which will naturally develop again over the next few years. So don’t panic. As far as possible hide veg in things, e.g. bolognese and chilli by chopping it super-fine in the blender before adding to a sauce. Offer veg at every meal. Have fruit available. Resist the temptation to ‘fill him up’ with endless crisps/cakes/beige food.

It’ll get easier.

Agree with others, I’d just rotate the meals he will eat, my 13 year old expands what he eats year on year, their tastes do change. You are right to not make it a battle ground!

will he have a smoothie if you want some fruit in him?

This isn’t awful to be honest! I would focus on maximising the veg in these meals - maybe you could replace beans in chilli for peppers?

Would it help to get him involved in the shopping/cooking?

That doesn't sound bad. Kids go through phases of what they will and won't eat, but sounds like he has a good variety of healthy things, so I wouldn't worry.

Hummus is good on everything in my book

Fair enough, I meant I have to stand over him and tell him to eat it, say things like “eat 2 bites and you can leave the rest”. This is because I know he doesn’t dislike it, he just wants to fill up on other things.

The main things I would like him to eat more of are beans, fish and green vegetables, because these have particular health benefits that go beyond just “getting a balanced diet”. I am trying to instill good habits in childhood that will serve him well as an adult.

Honestly his diet sounds better than a lot of children that age. My 8yo DD will eat pretty much any veg and fruit but hates anything in a sauce (she’s autistic and doesnt like things mixing to be fair to her) and my 6yo loves curries, bolognaise etc but hates veg, although she loves most fruit. They’ve been weaned the same, same meals offered, it’s just personal preference. I was an extremely fussy child (I lived on chicken nuggets) but as an adult I now eat loads of things I hated then. Most children will try more foods as they grow up.

The only thing I would do is try and introduce fruit. Does he not even like strawberries or grapes? I’ve never known a child turn those down.

We do “lead by example” and eat a lot of whole foods. That was stated in my OP.

We had a hyper-fussy DS who grew out of it eventually and now eats anything. To improve his vegetable intake in his stroppy youth, we minced carrots, peppers, onions, celery (you name it!) in with the beef, pork or lamb. This gave us the basis for pasta dishes, burgers, cottage pies, pasties, meatballs and meat loaves.
Another sneaky trick was to make him chocolate cup cakes (which he loved!) with a good chunk of grated carrot and a generous spoonful of dried milk in the mix. It all helped.
If you haven't got a mincer, a food processor works ok.

Home made soups are good for hiding veg
Pureeing soup and serving with chunky wholemeal bread can work. Get a book of pasta sauces. You can hide fennel, tomatoes and brocolli easily..
Stuff red peppers with sausage meat and crushed garlic, bake them for 45 mins in a medium oven. The meat cooks, the peppers turn sweet and garlicky. My veggie-hating ds loves them.

Home make tsatsiki and hummus are good with warm pitta breads.

Carrot cake is still veggies even with more sugar. Fruit cakes contains sultanas and raisins.
I can normally get 12 - 15 different fruit & veg into my ds.

Gagging when you eat food isn’t misbehaviour.

Might be the textures that are a problem for him. Refried beans (or blended plain beans) can go into wraps and chilli instead of whole ones. Chickpeas are often grainy in hummus, but as he must like garlic (kyivs), maybe it's the texture that's offputting, not the the flavour of it.

Would he eat fishfingers or scampi, seeing as he eats kyivs? Tuna has a distinctly dry texture unless it's immersed in a ridiculous amount of mayonnaise when it's gloopy instead (and seems to taste much stronger when in a melt or other hot dish, but if he refuses standard breaded or battered fish and seafood, he may just simply not like it.

Salad, well, some people just don't like a bunch of slightly bitter leaves. I do, but I'm not going to criticise somebody who doesn't. Same with fruit, I'll eat it, but rarely, as I like vegetables more. It might be that it's too sweet for him or he doesn't like seeds/skins/etc, especially if he won't touch sweetcorn but is fine with peppers and carrots, as they have a different type of sweetness, tempered by savoury - just as egg yolks are more savoury than the slippery whites.

That is fair but ime of a fussy eating child just one more bite puts pressure on them and causes fights and resentment, offering a small side of brocolli that he says he doesn't like is now your focus at dinner time causing an atmosphere because he knows the fight is coming so he is ready for your one more bite , pick your battles. does he like baked beans those are fine and better than nothing.

Glad to hear he grew out of it. Do carrots really retain nutritional value in a cupcake? 😀. He likes actual carrot cake.

To those asking about cooking and shopping, supermarket trips just end up in me explaining for the millionth time why I will never buy any of the ever-expanding range of oreo-based products around every corner….

Cooking, maybe, too busy with homework in the week though.

Honestly his list of meals has quite a lot of variety in there and the other things you want him to eat, he will get there at some point. As long as you keep offering the opportunity. The other thing you might want to try is that some kids don’t like ‘one pot’ or ‘stew/casserole’ or ‘wet’ food. I realised I was getting tons of meal rejection for that reason and now serve things as their constituent parts with the sauce on the side and getting more food eaten.

asking for two bites is pressure and what you’re aiming for is just putting a plate down, telling them what’s available for that meal, reminding them they don’t have to eat it, no praise/cajoling/just one bite. Just leave it. Doesn’t mean you have to stop putting beans in his chilli even if he doesn’t eat them. He’s problem solving and exposing himself by picking them out. The more you try to get them to take one bite the more he will push back on you with that food and others. You just have to feign indifference .

look up division of responsibility. You decide what food is served and when, he decides which foods and whether or not to eat. Offer food at regular times with a mix of accepted and not accepted foods.

for example, my daughter wdoesnt like chilli. So I serve her rice, chilli on another side of the plate and some raw veggies and tortilla chips. She decides what to eat. I ask her if she wants any toppings eg sour cream or grated cheese (heck she can have ketchup if she wants) if she thinks that will make it taste better. So far she just eats the rice and the sides and not the chilli, but I don’t make a big deal about it and she fills her tummy. This method has helped expand what she does eat as she knows I don’t make a big fuss and she has control over her plate too

I’d be delighted if he’d eat baked beans but won’t touch them. To be fair, I hated them myself as a child!

Two bites of broccoli makes no difference to a diet and is not worth getting into a fight about.

Relax, just keep putting things on his plate and he’ll either eat them or not. His diet seems pretty good, as others have said, you can hide veg in things like pasta sauces if you need to.

He doesn't have to eat all food groups to have a healthy attitude to food, we all even as adults have things we don't like or even fancy eating.

Definitely agree with trying raw rather than cooked veg and things like peppers, cucumber - even if it's dipped in something like ranch dressing that's better than not eating it at all. When DS was at his pickiest about veg I used to make the tomato sauce base for chilli, pasta etc and cook sweet potato, mushrooms, peppers, red lentils or black beans, and the usual onion, carrots, celery, garlic etc. then blend it. You can add cooked mince, meatballs, whatever else afterwards. Boosts the vitamin and mineral content (plus fibre and iron) without turning into an argument every mealtime.

He eats tons of food from what you've written. The body makes its own vitamins even from that much meat and bready stuff. Give him a vitamin and you're done. Not sure what your fuss is all about

At that age I pulled faces at anything that wasn't carrots or broccoli, in my 20s I did a 180 and now would prefer vegetables over most foods. Have you tried making chicken casserole? Bung carrots, veggies etc in the mix? Chicken pie too. Do they help with cooking? I've noticed a huge improvement with DD since she started with that and tasted things going along. We even got her making broccoli pesto from scratch and she LOVES it (her other preferred diet is a rotating pizza/nuggets/mac n cheese).

I have a very fussy eater who is the same age. His diet is a lot more limited than your DS's.

I have reframed my "job" as a parent, which is to get him to adulthood reasonably healthy and active and a healthy weight, and to keep offering different foods along the way. Whether or not he eats specific foods at specific times is less of an issue.

It is honestly much less stressful to view it this way.

I would give it time. I am unable to eat leafy salad as an adult. I find it boring. I can only eat a bit of salad if it is in a sandwich.