To be at a loss as to how to get 9 year-old to eat healthily?

[ScaredOfFlying]

I’m really keen to raise DS with healthy eating habits but he’s getting worse as he gets older.

Does anyone have any tried and tested ways to get a child this age to eat any of the following?

Leafy greens
Salad
Beans, lentils, chickpeas
fish
Vegetable soup
Corn on the cob
any form of fruit
whole egg not just yolk

Until he was about 6 he would happily eat broccoli, now he pushes it to the side and has to be forced to eat it. Same with fruit, used to be fine but now hates it. Went from loving tuna to making vomit noises at it. Used to love eggs but now will only eat yolk that does not touch the white. Ate veg curry as a toddler but now rejects it.

He is an only child so no siblings to model/cajole him. DH and I model very healthy and varied eating, it’s almost like he is rebelling. He is bright and we’ve tried science/nutrition explanations, to no avail. He will refuse even a single mouthful of something new and it’s clear that he has decided in advance to say that he hates the food. Stand offs of the “eat what you are given or go hungry variety” result in huge arguments and we absolutely do not want to make food into a battleground.

Help! Will he maybe just grow out of it?

Would he eat fishfingers or scampi, seeing as he eats kyivs? Tuna has a distinctly dry texture unless it's immersed in a ridiculous amount of mayonnaise when it's gloopy instead (and seems to taste much stronger when in a melt or other hot dish, but if he refuses standard breaded or battered fish and seafood, he may just simply not like it.

You’re right that tuna is a bit of a non-standard fish experience anyway. He dislikes mayonnaise, which is not a bad thing really. He used to eat fish fingers but went off them and now declares all fish disgusting. And that was without me ever suggesting my own favourite, mackerel!

Maybe do a pasta sauce where you whizz up vegetables into the sauce I think it’s called something like hidden veg sauce that way he’s getting veg without even knowing it 😊

You’re not doing salad right if you find it boring! I recommend the Leon Happy Salads book.

This is essentially forcing him - you are pressuring him. It’s not recommended. Offer a healthy variety and it’s up to him what he actually eats.

I am trying to instill good habits in childhood that will serve him well as an adult.

I can see that this works so long as you focus on explaining the health benefits of certain foods and of keeping active, but I'm not sure it works for particular foods.

Some foods just have a more intense taste or particular texture which makes them difficult for certain children to deal with, especially as children have many more taste buds than adults and so experience flavours more intensely.

I was 'fussy' as a child and eat almost everything as an adult. I'm hoping my DC will be similar and so it seems pointless to make food a worry or a battleground during his childhood. I have memories of being bullied or cajoled by adults over not eating food and tbh they aren't very pleasant. I can still remember the stress I felt.

Absolutely this, just serve food
He can choose if he wants to eat it or not.
Any rudeness or noises and he would be removed from the table and grounded.

Grapes left out on table go completely untouched. My MIL is always offering strawberries and he might humour her by eating one.

Agreed on egg whites, I’m not a fussy eater in the slightest but I can’t stand the texture of egg whites alone, mashed up or mixed up in an omelette or quiche I’ll happily eat whole eggs but if I was given a boiled or fried egg I’d only eat the yoke.

Thanks everyone- need to go and make dinner now!

What’s on your roast dinner? Does that include veg that you can add as a side to any other meals?

Try roasting veg rather than boiling it, roasted broccoli & cauliflower is really tasty with a bit of oil & seasoning.

That's a quite specific list. Why not focus on the foods he does like and use them to create a nutritious diet. My DS won't eat fish so we add chia seeds to porridge for Omega 3 and healthy fats. He doesn't eat much veg so he gets a lot of the veg he likes and there are some vegetables that I can blend into sauces in foods he likes. He also takes a multivitamin.

Oh fgs he’s 10 not 2. He doesn’t need a buffet style and a range of platters and dishes. He eats or goes hungry. At 10 I wouldn’t be putting up with this and I have a 10yo. I’m sure if you laid down ice cream or junk he would gobble that down in a second.

Beans lentils pulses - blend them into soup, we’ve just had leek and potato soup with hidden butter beans and spinach.

whole eggs - I made crepes that are 75% egg. Just a small amount of plain flour and milk (we use sweetened soya milk).

My 13yr old son didn't used to like fruit much, but has taken to making smoothies for himself using a base of ice, greek yoghurt, different kinds of frozen fruit and spinach. Perhaps worth a try? You/DS could experiment with the consistency, which also gives him a bit of agency.

French toast is good for egg!

I think it's all about balance tbh. We balance processed stuff and homemade.

Here's what my kids (12 and 9) eat in a day:

B: Peanut butter on toast, sometimes some fruit and a hard boiled egg

L: ham sandwich, 2 biscuits, apple sauce, crackers, yoghurt, homemade muffin, usually banana or blueberries. Sometimes a piece of fruit, or cheese.

Apples and sometimes crisps when home from school.

D: a lot of meat and two veg/pasta type dinners.

Supper: fruit, egg, more homemade apple sauce.

They have homemade veg soup/pizza at weekends for lunch.

That diet seems fine. Does he like yoghurt, cherry tomatoes, grapes cut up and cucumber sticks? If just keep giving him those foods but add in a few new foods Shepherds pie, chicken gnocchi bake, salmon. He'd would eat it or go without. Provided you offer a couple of things you know he will like at every meal he will be fine.

Tell him that your job as a mum is to make sure he eats enough fruit & veg so he grows up strong & healthy but that he's old enough now to decide his favourites.

Give him two list:
1 with every vegatable
1 with every fruit

Tell him to think about it and circle his 3 favourites on each sheet and you'll make sure to buy his favourites and won't make him try the ones he doesn't like.

Let him thing that he's in control and making the choices.

Also see if you can get him invilved in cooking - easy ones like homemade pizza etc.

I'm with him on the tuna - I won't eat it in any form and I'm in my 40s!

Red lentils can be hidden in lots of dishes eg curry/soup/bolognese
Chickpeas are really nice roasted in the oven with olive oil and a but of salt. They go crunchy and you can eat them as a snack. May be more appealing as less vegetable like?

I have but i am just not a big fan of salad.

I have no idea whether carrots are nutritionally useful in chocolate cupcakes but it made them more acceptable to the dinner ladies!

I just think he's developing preferences and there is no harm in that. At 9 I would expect it. My 15 year old loved tuna until he didn't, ate fish until he didn't.

As someone who was forced to eat things & always had to finish my plate as a child I grew up with some horrendous eating habits and real real texture issues. Even the thought of anything thick textured (mash, yogurts, milkshakes, cream etc) make me want to vomit.

As an adult making my own decisions I have tried these things (it's still a no from me). I do not like fruit. I love vegetables (most) but i was 32 before I decided runner beans were not actually that bad.

I know you are trying to set him up for a healthy life, but I'm just saying you do run the risk of doing the complete opposite.

Feed him what he likes & continue to add in new things every now & again, just don't force it, over the years he will learn to try and love new things, right now your making it a bit of a battle and it may backfire. I just don't think this age is the right age to be pushy. 4 years younger yes, 4 years older, sure, but not right now.

There's recipes online for healthy muffins using fruit but with chocolate chips etc. Or you could whizz up smoothies with banana, oats etc. I'd probably not offer him one, just have some yourself and see if he asks to try some?
I've friends whose dcs have much more limited food options that they'll eat than yours. Also ones that have grown up to do a complete reverse and become veg and fruit lovers. I don't think your dcs is that bad. If he's not constantly being unwell, has energy etc I wouldn't worry.

It's really not that bad. Give him the meals he likes and add chopped salad veg in bowls in the middle of the table like pp suggested.

DD has a set amount of meals she likes, I give her these, and make sure to add some extra protein or veg. She doesn't like any kind of saucy things, wouldn't eat a chilli or a Bolognese. Her favourite meal is a snack plate that is in sections. It's actually great as I can add a lot of veg, some fruit, protein, around some kind of sandwich/wrap/bagel.

I was a fussy eater and happily eat my beans, lentils, fish now. It won't be forever

Make a tomato sauce for the chilli/bolognaise/meatballs/pizza using peppers, onion, mushrooms, broccoli stalks, carrots and parsnips cooked in a small amount of water until soft, add the same volume of tinned tomatoes and some tomato puree and blend. Use it as a base for anything tomato related and add additional tins of chopped tomatoes for things like chilli & bolognaise.

I batch cook the veg, blend and freeze. Then add passata & tomato purée when using. You can get quite a lot of extra veg in that way.

I don’t think there’s much point in hiding vegetables and fruit if you’re trying to instill healthy habits. You’d want them to actually perceive what they are eating for that. It’s a great idea for a toddler though.