To think we should get the best room in a villa?

[hwange]

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

• One room for me and my husband
• One room for our older son and his girlfriend
• One room for our younger son
• Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

Unless there is something specific about a room that makes it particularly more (eg en-suite and you have bowel issues or similar or the one with kitchen if you’d particularly value being able to split from group and have own mini cooking faculties) then your son and gf get the first choice as she organised the trip and single son gets the smaller of remaining two as he’s one person and you/OH will use a bit more space. There is no reason I can see in the scenario you describe that you should be entitled to first choice of rooms.

...and apropos of nothing but why are you paying for a five bed villa when you only need three?

This is rather the elephant in the spare rooms, isn't it? Why on earth deliberately pay for five of something, only to discard two of them that were never needed in the first place and then squabble over the remaining three that you do need?!

I wouldn’t say anything about the rooms and just let the people who arrive first decide which room to take. If it’s anything like my family nobody will be rude enough to claim the main room for themselves so the couple who arrived last would get it. In all honesty I wouldn’t want to go on holiday with anyone who behaves otherwise.

Usually the organiser gets the best room or the person who’s special occasion it is.

I would say your older son and his girlfriend should get the room.l as they have both the organiser and a person with a special occasion in the room.

if it was me though I would be giving my parents the best room.

The organiser!

If I was organising I'd give the best room to the 60th birthday boy, but assuming all the rooms are nice enough, I really wouldn't care for myself. My main concern would be easy access to a bathroom.

I might however take exception to anyone thinking they "should" have the best room, and I certainly wouldn't be expressing that if my son's GF (DIL) had done all the legwork.

Organiser deals with it. And by saying nothing there is more chance she might generously give it to you. But definitely shouldn't expect it or discuss it.

Really surprised how many think the organiser should get the best room.

As someone who has organised many similar trips for family and friends over the years . in this situation there is no way I’d take the best room on my dads 60th celebration even though it would be my 30th.

Organising trips / holidays is an effort but if you expect privileges because you’re doing it then I’d say maybe stop doing it.

Older son as his partner organised it BUT - if it was me I’d give my parents the best room because they are my parents and have probably sacrificed a lot over the years for the kids. And you know, they are my parents!

Call me old fashioned but in this situation, if I were the ‘child’ I would automatically assign the nicest room to my parents out of respect and acknowledgment of their senior position in the family and all they have done for us as their children. I would hope that my children would do the same but I wouldn’t get into a row about it. I’d be disappointed in them if they didn’t.

Why doesn’t it apply the other way round? Op “giving back” to thank the dil for organising. The organiser is also one half of a “big birthday” couple, in the same way that the op is - why isn’t it a gift towards the son’s birthday?

In my family, my parents would pay for all of us, and they'd get the best room

Why should you be getting the best room?

Organising a villa takes a lot of time to research, make sure all ok for everyone. Therefore it’s polite to give organiser first dibs.
what’s your thinking why you should get the best room? If you were paying, then yes. But you are not.
We had a family holiday recently. IL only stipulation was they got the bedroom with a walk in shower and not over the bath. As organiser we got first dibs on the room.

But the organiser isn't taking her parents. The parents in this scenario have done nothing for her as a child yet she has taken hours of our her schedule to sort a trip for them all and OP just expects the best room. Maybe OP should have sorted the trip themselves if they wanted the best room.

As you’re all paying the same, then the organiser gets the best room. I’m not sure why you would think you would get it.

Yeah as everyone else has said, the person organising gets the best room if costs are equally split.

Which i assume is not the answer you wanted to recieve.

Why should the 60th get the room over the 30th? Given that they are all paying equally. Just why? They were all equal except the organisers who put more effort in, ergo, they should get it. If the OP and her husband want all the benefits of being the head of the family, they need to pay for everyone.

I think organiser gets it as a default unless there’s a reason why someone else needs it. So being older doesn’t really factor in unless there’s some reason why it’s more suitable for you, which doesn’t include a nice view.

Or, one party or couple could pay more for the nice room.

It does seem a bit unfair that your youngest son is paying the same as each couple but doesn’t even get a look in for either of the nicest rooms - yes he gets his own room, but he takes up less space in the villa as a whole. Also, if he gets the most basic room, he should pay a bit less.

I would consider scaling the payments according to who gets each room - so occupants of the best room (if not the organiser) should pay a bit more and the single person pays a bit less if they’re getting a more basic room.

Organiser should get the best room.

The organiser should have first choice. It's hard work and time consuming finding somewhere suitable. If I was her, I'd be annoyed if you took the best room just because you're the oldest or the parents.

Sorry - missed this and thought son was paying the same as each couple, which seemed a bit unfair!

So scratch what I said re the sliding payments, but someone could still pay extra for the big room.

Yes! AND she's only the girlfriend. Not the DiL. No way on earth, at 30, would I have gone on holiday with my in-law family. If @hwange wants other family holidays she needs to tread very very carefully about this one.

Humble and grateful is my suggestion.

Just be entirely selfish like my ex sister in law who took the best room despite only being in the early stages of dating my bil, and the fact mil paid for the whole house. Also tried to organise the cooking arrangements without any consultation. Over 25 years ago now, but not forgotten. Fortunately she's out of our lives now.

How about focusing on enjoying the break and being gracious?

While I feel you are being unreasonable assuming you should get the best room, If i was your DIL and as it is her FIL 60th also, I would insist they get the better room and we take the next best thing.

I do this every year for my MIL. She spends more time in her room than us and she doesn't have the luxuries at home. To us its just a bed and somewhere to get changed.