To not want toys brought into the lounge?

[ohnononofenton]

So in context, our downstairs area is all open plan. There’s a smallish lounge, a dining room and then an orangery. The children’s toys and games are in the orangery and their bedrooms.

They both but especially my five year old keep bringing them into the lounge. I hate it. It’s mostly because the lounge is on the small side so quickly gets full, toys get trampled on, end up under the sofa and the TV unit. I end up skidding on toy cars and parts of tool boxes all the time.

I am trying to be quite firm about keeping toys in the orangery or bedrooms. Or is this just too uptight? It’s an ongoing battle keeping the house fairly tidy and I don’t do a bad job but it is a lot of work.

Why can’t it be you that compromises? “Ambling” from room to room playing, making a bit of mess with toys…that’s what children are supposed to be doing! He’s learning and growing as nature intended. I don’t understand why you can’t just work around them and tidy up when it’s bedtime, like millions of families do every single day. You have more space than most, as well; what is so stressful about visible evidence of the children who live there, during the time when they are awake and need to play?

@Irishcharmer while in no way to I want to be the thread police, your posts here have been mocking, sneering and generally really, really unpleasant to read. I think you think you’re being funny - but if I could remind you I’m a real person, a human with feelings and emotions here, that would be nice.

My ‘poor child’ is loved very much and like most mums I’m constantly trying to do my best / do better.

As I say; I just can’t get ds to tidy. He starts wailing ‘but it will take aaaages’ if you threaten to remove the item(s) it causes hysteria (and he has a sibling so don’t want to punish her too, plus as people rightly have said play is so important for this age,) He just won’t. So my worry is to keep nagging and demanding is damaging our relationship; hence I’m not doing it.

It may be best if we don’t continue to respond to one another as I feel ultimately we want different things from this thread.

Yes, all they do is make themselves look a bit thick.

Part of being a parent is stepping on lego, tripping over cars and hoovering up barbie shoes. What would you rather an aesthetically pleasing house or a family home.

It takes a long, long time. I find toys everywhere: under sofas and rugs and other furnishings, in the downstairs toilet (not actually IN the toilet!) - it’s also easy to stand on them and break them.

Let it go.

Yes, that’s life with young children

@ohnononofenton

"Getting him to tidy it has thus far proved unsuccessful and I’m concerned it’s damaging to our relationship to be honest to have me constantly on at him with regard to toys"

This is a lot to put on a child. You are equating your child's way of play, of being, to the quality of your relationship. A child cannot see your point of view because they are not adults. All your child will interpret and internalize for life is to get mummy's love and approval I must be very careful. All your child will learn is to walk on eggshells around you. Trust me on this.

If you choose it to be. If you can make it a bit less stressful and ensure things aren’t broken, I guess I’m wondering why wouldn’t you?

Orangeries traditionally have glass roofs often in the form of a lantern style to allow maximum sunlight for the fruit.
So that’s that, OP is quite right to call hers an orangery if that’s what it is.
OP. It is a shame the kids obviously want to play in the family room to join you but you don’t want their toys in there.
I would be drumming it into them if they bring their toys into the living room and pieces get lost then they can’t get upset about because that’s what happens and they need to take more care to put them back when they have finished playing.

Happy mum means happy children in my experience. I dont think its a massive thing to keep playing to one area in the house. Years ago this wouldnt be particularly strange.

Theres no right or wrong to it OP, your house needs to work for you and keep you calm. It might be different if you were suggesting keeping it confined to bedrooms or no play but its essentially a play area you're talking about.

Kids are messy, and your posts do sound like your DD is the favourite, to me anyway.

Do try to change your approach here op. It does sound pretty miserable imo 😕

No, I’m not @Mumtobabyhavoc . I’m saying that we have this situation

Ds makes a mess
ds wont tidy the mess
therefore I have to tidy the mess

(and trust me the level of mess ds makes is pretty bad, if you leave it it gets worse too.)

So - rather than keep nagging him and trying to get him to tidy, I’m trying to keep the mess contained so it is easier for me to deal with

that’s all

@Irishcharmer An Orangerie is different to a conservatory, it has a solid roof, we have one. It's easier to heat too. Look it up, most houses can have one.

@Didimum

I wouldn't be too smug ladies...

Key Differences Summarized

• Roof: Orangery (lantern), Sunroom (glass), Garden Room (tiled).
• Walls: Orangery (brick/pillars), Sunroom (fully glazed), Garden Room (semi-glazed brick/modern materials).
• Integration: Orangery/Sunroom (attached), Garden Room (can be detached).

She’s easier to parent sometimes but believe me a lot of the time ds is my preferred one! Depends who is driving me bananas at any one time!

It's affected. Sorry. So very Hyacinth.

You're just describing life with small children, OP.

Either you spend your free time tidying it up, you nag, or you relax. There isn't really another solution.

Google will tell you what an orangery is.

Make tidying a game like i said in previous post kids love it

I’d let them bring some toys in. When I’m overwhelmed with toys in the house I just think to myself in 10 years there won’t be any toys.

We only have a lounge and a kitchen. So I just keep a lid on the quantities of toys and tidy them away frequently.

I’d love a bit more space, but we love our house too and don’t want a bigger mortgage/bills!

Yes, you sound really uptight.

No. Thats not what an orangery is.