AIBU - expecting son to pay for his own 'luxury' groceries on top of rent

[QuaintNewt]

23yo DS pays £500 a month 'rent'. This includes, all bills including mobile but ive recently asked him to take this on himself as he can get cheap sim only contract and good for credit rating etc. It also includes meals and snacks Sunday - Thursday with the original agreement being he buys his own meals on weekends (take aways) although if im cooking i will offer to include him and his gf in meals too.

We are very comfortable and not financially 'short' but also not loaded, we live well but dont have loads left over, and DS earns around £1800 after tax and has EV paid through work costing him £30 a month BIK (he charges at home and claims work mileage as expenses) so no other outgoings .

He thinks £500 a month is excessive and we have recently had a discussion about him paying us for his car electricity on top of his rent, I also do not want to buy him large packs of canned drinks and coffee pods (nespresso) as part of our weekly shop. The coffee machine was purchased as weve recently moved rurally and i miss my occasional coffee shop coffee but dont expect to be paying £150 a month in pods for is all which I can see happening ig DH,DS,DD all start drinking 2 o 3 coffees a day!

AIBU and a tighta**e or do you think expecting him to purchase these things himself is fair?

But sadly ,I seem to be in a minority.

Have you read the thread in full? I would say, whilst a sizeable minority (including me) think that the rent is fair enough for a 23 year old who has plenty of spare cash to save for a deposit over and above the board and lodgings being charged, the majority agree with you.

Well thats not saving six figures themselves is it?
£40k at 18, maybe thats mad...
Point is thats not the norm

Is she actually making money though? On another post someone is saying their children cost over £500 a month each. So an adult child eats more, still uses utilizes etc So if they cost £500 as a child while are they costing so much less as an adult to make this big profit?

You are saying it’s mad. You didn’t say it wasn’t the norm. I interpret you saying it’s mad as something that’s crazy, unrealistic and that no one dies. . Well it isn’t mad or crazy -it’s completely achievable as I have described. And there are others that do the same. It’s perfectly doable to grow a sum of that amount from birth and then the young person adds to it. But you know - if you can’t take on board another perspective that’s just a you problem I guess.

Not to quibble, but the PP poster was referring to young people saving 6 figures.

If someone gives you £40k, and you grow it to £100k, you personally have not saved £100k, you’ve saved £60k. Being gifted large sums of money isn’t saving it.

@Endorewitch no one is making money, or runni g a business, by asking working adults yo pay fir whst they are using. They are still helping their adult children, as living at parents paying s minimal amount for house keeping, zllows them to savd loads for z house deposot. They would pay far more if they rented somewhere, people are haedly making a profit.

One person doesn't cost £100 in food per week. I can cook a meal for an extra person for far less than that. And presumably he isn't around during the day. And he gets basic meals only. Not luxuries like coffee that isn't instant. The washing machine could cost more but heating and lighting would make a minimal difference.
I have had both my adult children living with me at various times and no way did I spend an extra £700. Yes it is cheap comparing with rented accommodation. But OP isn't a landlord. She is his mum.

Really? He was even expecting his parents to pay for takeaWays for him AND his girlfriend. It seems some of the time they are feeding her also.

She's also been paying his mobile phone until recently And using electric to charge his car ( which HE, gets money back for)

Strangely my costs living alone probably come to that and that's being frugal.