My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

[Claradiplomatique]

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

🧿🪬

As long as she is not aggressive about it I would just tell her that you kindly disagree or engage in a light debate on spirituality maybe tell her some of your own or about some other religions and tell her as you feel spirituality is a rather personal thing that you would rather that she didn't criticise your beliefs or force hers upon you. There is such a diversity of religions in the world, I always find it fascinating to hear more about different ones as long as it isn't shoved down your throat. I think firing her would be extreme unless she is being cross or aggressive about it. Would it be easy for her to get another posting? How would it impact her life? Your cat is gorgeous btw!

😂

Oh I love this! Our housekeeper (also abroad) is obsessed with our cats and it’s a battle to stop her over feeding them.

No religious drama though 😞 I think I’d go with another poster’s suggestion of just saying ‘it’s not a problem for us’ and diverting onto the cat.

Fangirling? Grow up.

Living abroad as a child certainly enriched my life, I’m more tolerant of different cultural practices for a start.

I’ve lived in several different countries. The assumption that I must be some parochial Little Englander because I wouldn’t let people with pernicious and damaging beliefs bring up my children is bizarre.

If their superstitions are getting in the way of their work and disrupting your household, I'd sack them both! Tell them to take their superstitions elsewhere.
Also, Halloween is an Irish/British/N. European thing - tell them to celebrate their own traditions, and not buy into the global marketing of shit merchandise and ersatz traditions!

Your housekeeper wouldn’t approve of my cat, she’s got a Ouija board & knows how to use it.

Just follow the cat's advice and actions on this as they are the most intellectual one in this scenario.

A halloween craft workshop. If witchy stuff doesn't fit there I don't know where else it would 😁

I wondered how you could afford multiple household staff on a UK government salary, now it makes more sense 😅

Time to find someone else

Have you had 'I can't do the ironing because I've just had a shower' ? Something about water and weakness

I'm not really sure what the actual issues it's causing are?

"I am a writer" so just use your words @Claradiplomatique 😆(common MN mantra!!)

Next time she says 'Jesus is coming soon' say 'Right, well you best crack on with the dusting then, you wouldn't want him to be disappointed in your cleaning standards'.

definitely don't get rid of either and possible employ another housekeeper to help the first

I'd let them at it! It's kind of funny tbh and will probably teach your children to be respectful and tolerant of different belief systems considering they're growing up with 3 at least!

I wanted to buy this for my cat but my husband said the housekeeper would lose it.

They are at least giving you plenty of material 😁

I had a very religious relative who thought Harry Potter was the work of the devil! Never read a single page of the book of course 😄

Love it 😂

I wouldn't have either of these nutjobs in my house tbh

Oh don’t worry, every diplomat I know here from whatever country has at least a part time housekeeper. Most people with kids have a housekeeper and a nanny.

AFAIK, most countries offer free accommodation for diplomats with a tax free? cost of living allowance etc. I can’t speak for any country but that is my understanding. Education at international schools is also paid for I believe.

The oil and gas sector, banking, legal etc will have similar packages. Probably better, I don’t know.

Lovely use of the evil eye emoji warding off a little envy. 😉Great thread!

This thread show the rich tapestry of life!

In answer to your question, I advise don’t give up on her yet. Keep saying that you are the mother and will decide for your children and your home.

That includes what toys the children can keep and up to you if evil eye stuff in your home. No burning of dolls.

I'm sure that, like most people who don't live in the same country as their families and work FT and occasionally go out at night or travel for work, you can figure it out by taking it in turns, or just hiring a babysitter.

DH and I both worked FT in demanding professional jobs that involved occasional travel and night and weekend events, and had a child and ran a household while living in the UK (both our families are in our home country) with a once-a-week cleaner, a daytime childminder, and later on, school with breakfast and after school clubs, and an occasional babysitter, scheduling our work travel and events around one another.

It's perfectly doable for an averagely competent person. You don't suddenly become helpless because you become an immigrant.

You're not actually doomed to have an ongoing Battle of the Household Staff.