My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

[Claradiplomatique]

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

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Tell her to stick to her day job and keep her religious beliefs to herself. Easy.

We moved overseas precisely because we wanted our children to be exposed to wider views and experiences than just the average middle England or mumsnetter's view of the world. The fact that your children have a nanny and you work away a few nights does not mean you stop parenting and in fact it can definitely encourage more thoughtful interactions. It has been hugely culturally enriching for our family to live overseas (my husband and I have different nationalities in any event) and extremely thought provoking for our children. I am often amazed at the things they can discuss and have a valid and thoughtful opinion on in terms of cultures and politics incorporating their experiences and very different education and I am extremely glad they have not grown up solely in the UK with its often very narrow views. And also that they have experienced being an immigrant (which we definitely are).

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I think that some of those snarking about OP having domestic help are missing the point that having “staff” is much more affordable in some countries (as a % of income) than it is in Western Europe.

Having lived many years in Asia I know countless families who came back to the UK and continued earning more or less the same/working the same hours as they did in banks in Hong Kong or insurance companies in Singapore.They had nannies and housekeepers there, but do not have them here because they don’t want to pay UK-level salaries to them.

It’s no different to coming back from living in a place where street food costs a couple of £ at a stall, to food trucks in London charging £12 for a curry.

You need to tell them both to do the jobs they are being paid to do and keep their religious beliefs tothemsrlves, and if they cant do that, you will accept their resignation.

Get the cat a little Halloween outfit.

I am quite sure some higher power sent me my cat to keep my toes warm at night, and that they sent me my dog to kick me out of bed in the morning.
Kids learn so much from world experiences. Nothing compares to it and learning a bit about other cultures is invaluable. Also if I had the opportunity to have all the help OP has and quality time with my kids while they grow, I'd be all in!! But that would be my choice, and I also wouldn't judge someone who decides to home school, it just would not be my choice.

'Jesus is coming'. 'Well, How lovely. Did he say when as we will bake a cake?'. How entertaining.

Honestly? This sort of thing will give you some marvellous stories in the years to come. As long as the nanny and the housekeeper are not actually falling out with each other (or you) then ride it out.

I can understand the OP having a lot of help. Moving to a foreign country is hard work - why make life difficult for yourself if you don't have to? There's a good chance that the driver and housekeeper come with the house and have been there for years - if the OP were to sack them, they would lose their home.

I agree that the cat will protect you from demons.

Have you tried asking your tarot cards and crystals what you should do?

This is an excellent channel 5 drama in the making. I could write it now. 2 members of RELIGIOUS AND SUPERSTITIOUS staff battling for supremacy in a household, the unwitting (slightly oblivious - soz 😬) family in the middle.

The members of staff knock off family members by accident, each thinking the other has killed them.

Starting with elderly grandmother in granny annexe, then an even more accidental member of staff (perhaps a young swarthy gardener)

Then the husband….

Then a kid (the annoying one)

Finally in true channel 5 fashion the mum and remaining kid (always an innocent baby) run for their lives…

I get that staff are much more affordable in other countries and in ex-pat communities it feels like the ‘done thing’, but you still have a choice. I would hate to have full-time staff milling around the house all day long, even if they weren’t spouting religious nonsense. I have cleaners, but they are only here a few hours a week, I make sure I’m not around when they come and they obviously know not to move or remove any of my belongings. Is this not something you could do instead? It would solve your problems I think.

Oh my goodness a rate sighting of the four Yorkshireman sketch, ladies auxiliary, UK division!

Sorry this was in reference to the various posts upthread telling the OP that she could easily dispense with all household help as the poster herself had virtuously done. “Well I never would” is so absurd.

Agree! Tell them to stop it immediately. It's absolutely not their business. It's the cat's wish, praise be.

My nanny, yes I am childless but I have a manic job and a zillion animals, is Catholic and sings to the dogs in the mornings and I notice Alexa is also peddling god stuff now but I dont mind, shes always happy and kind. I wouldnt employ someone born again though, I dont like being hassled about jesus and find that stuff really hypocritical and sleazy. I can handle superstition though, 27 years in the middle east I have heard every tale going.

The Mumsnet theme! 😂

What’s this got to do with the OP’s problem? Are you saying she should tolerate her housekeeper’s religious outbursts in the name of cultural enrichment?

😂

Well some people would say that the OP's own views are pretty batshit, dabbling with tarot cards and crystals. What's the difference between that and the staff's views?

Aaahaha this is so well-said. The mumsnet virtue brigade is alive and well 😂

Keep them both to learn & experience new things from them. They both agree on the cat so cannot be that bad.

You have no children but think you have a nanny? Surely that’s a housekeeper/petsitter/groom/assistant, rather than a nanny?

Nonsense. It's perfectly possible to work two FT jobs and parent without needing to rely on batshit FT nannies and housekeepers.

but is she a good cleaner?

By relying on nursery and childminders instead? You’re more likely to get into heaven if you make that choice, are you?