My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

[Claradiplomatique]

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

🧿🪬

I do go to Orthodox Church here as it’s beautiful and I have an evil eye charm and jewellery so I’m embracing the culture. Religion here is considered a private matter so outside the home you don’t really discuss it if that makes sense.

Beautiful cat!

Cats are excellent at keeping demons in line due to outranking them.

I’d be of a mind to let them wage holy war, but let them know to do it quietly. It does seem like the housekeeper is more the issue here though, as it appears that she’s evangelizing. I would speak to her quietly and let her know she’s being inappropriate, and if she doesn’t stop then I would look to replace her.

(As an immaterial aside, I didn’t think Spain, more like Turkey or Greece.)

This is hilarious 😂

'This is a fascinating discussion, but I can't stop, I'm due to shag the gardener in five minutes.'

Well it's Bangladesh. Stands to reason. They have to offer the moon on a stick or no-one would go. The harder the posting, the better the incentives.

Are you the diplomat’s wife whose nanny went off to have cosmetic surgery and expected 3 weeks off? She as a writer too…

Can’t comment on the rest but having seen picture I agree cat was clearly sent from God to protect you. 😀

We had an employee on a work placement like this caused so many issues.

But we always respected her beliefs and made so many accommodations for her. And changes to the role. And supported her so much.

In the end she still put in a huge complaint about us which caused us so many issues.

I'm intrigued that you attend church but then say things like "wittering about religion" and use tarot cards and crystals which the church views as occult practices. Sounds like your own views might be a bit confused.

Unfortunately that wouldn’t work as we both work, attend evening functions and travel in the region sometimes overnight. Expats living here don’t have family close by so every expat family I know has some kind of paid help.

By having the cleaning and ironing etc done I can spend time with the children. There are times when stuff happens when I need the nanny to be at home with them.

I would treasure the slightly comic domestic situations you are experiencing. They will create rich memories.

You all sound a bit woo

Meh, it’s a choice to live like that. It’s not a choice I would make. You’re allowing random strangers with batshit views to influence your children.

I’m nominally Orthodox. I’m not religious, but I do love the Byzantine style of churches and Ottoman mosques. I also have a few evil eyes around my house. It’s more cultural than anything.

What's the thing about horns? Does she think Rhinos are the work of the devil?

I enjoy the beauty of the orthodox mass, just like I occasionally visit a mosque. My own beliefs are personal but I dabble in a few things and I am interested in religion, just not being preached at.

Don't sack either of them! This sounds fascinating! And also you're probably getting good luck from all sorts of different gods, plus the cat.

Or she is allowing living in another culture to enrich her children’s experience of life.

I love it. I agree that if the cat is happy with both, accept this as a marvellous bit of colour in a dull world.

I used to have a very religious cleaner who would start her session by loudly exorcising and blessing the house. I rather enjoyed it!

If this was a working class single mother allowing elderly neighbours to indoctrinate her children with satan fantasies and superstitions while she worked night shifts, I doubt you’d be fangirling so hard.

Well it’s a good job you aren’t in the Foreign Service then.

There are enormous privileges in this life and we can acknowledge we are very fortunate. I wouldn’t swap it for working in Walmart (for example). Other people would hate this life and are happy in their home town working at Walmart. Everyone is different and makes choices that work for their family.

Team nanny. I have evil eye above my door.

Cute cat

That cat could absolutely repel demons!

I think just try to enforce a no discussion of any kind of religion in the house rule and keep them both. Obviously they'll find it hard to comply, but it will give you a good reason to intervene/disapprove/shut it down. You could stress you want to respect everyone's beliefs, but they need to keep them to themselves. As long as you can suppress any open hostilities or arguments, it sounds fine.

I just don't think living in another country that isn't yours where people have different views works like that. The OP could remove all help and do everything herself but the kids will still go to school and have friends and associate with people who have different views. It's up to the parents to teach their kids to filter out the stuff that doesn't align with their own views. We've had nannies who have had different religions but as long as they've aligned on fundamental values, ie: what's right and wrong, it doesn't matter.

I'd also note (again, it sounds like you haven't lived abroad) that rejecting all help and becoming a full time SAHM in a foreign country is a one-way ticket to becoming extremely isolated and depressed. Many places don't have school gates cultures or coffee mornings like that.