To think that there are too many judgemental, purposely hurtful comments on MN?!

[Glitterballofdreams]

The majority of the posts I’ve been reading recently, have too many b*tchy, judgemental and rude responses on them. Or extreme overreactions such as advising people to leave their husband over silly little arguments!
Women certainly do seem to enjoy dragging other women down.
Anyone else noticed this?

Yabu. Read a wider range of boards.

I've noticed it increase in the last three years. Very much so @Glitterballofdreams

It's the case that if someone comes on and says something in a vulnerable or "is this fair?" tone, you'll get loads of people queuing up to say "why would you ask this OP?", "you sound judgemental" etc

posts worded in polite language but designed to crush and humiliate the OP.

What you'll ironically get on this thread however are lots of those "I haven't noticed this OP you must be sensitive" posts.... so there's that!

Ahaha it didn't take long @Glitterballofdreams .....

I think it's the internet/social media in general. It's very very easy to reply in that manner when you're relatively anonymous. It's pathetic really.

If you read the "comments" sections on news it's equally as awful.

Men get dragged down just as fast on here.

I object to your framing of 'women dragging down other women'. I seeing more as a wide range of personality types commenting. No one is forced to create a thread.

Other forms of entertainment are available.

To expand on my comment.
I don't see this so much because I mainly use boards such as Education where people try to be helpful.
AIBU is robust, and yes does have blunt comments, but no one has to read threads on it.

Yes, this post gets made every couple of weeks and yes people have gotten nastier on here over the last few years. I honestly think some people take pride in being part of the "vipers nest" and think making sly, bitchy comments makes them look ever so cool and clever.

Not sure why or what causes it, but when I see it I just feel sorry for them. Imagine having such a miserable life that you get your jollies by kicking someone when they're down. And you know these people wouldn't be able to look you in the eye and say hello at the same time in real life, they're only so nasty and smug because they think this forum is anonymous and they're safe from repercussion.

I'll give it to Mumsnet though I actually took a break for about 4 months because I was so sick of how rude and horrible people are, and since coming back it does seem they're cracking down on it more - I'm definitely seeing a lot more rude comments being removed. So that's something.

I joined recently to gain advice from other parents, my first post received many nasty comments when I admitted I was upset about my DC starting school!!

Many other genuine posters who share their woes get such shocking responses. It’s pretty vile. You open a post that you may find useful or interesting and it’s like a petty girl scrap.

AIBU is robust, and yes does have blunt comments, but no one has to read threads on it.

Yeah ok....except that every week I see people who post in AIBU "for traffic" and who treat AIBU as if it is Mumsnet in its entirety. So there is that too - it's not that I disagree, but I think many people come here first or often in their Mumsnet browsing journey.

But I also think this is a bit of a specious argument. So many people over the years have tried to portray AIBU as some sort of arena of battle, and if you don't like the heat, get out of the proverbial kitchen.

Does it have to be that way?

You originally wrote "Other forms of entertainment are available" before editing your post @TeenToTwenties and I think you'd struck on the heart of the matter originally.

That AIBU has become entertainment to people. They want to see an OP torn down, made to feel silly etc.

So certain posters feel emboldened to get in first on a thread and give the person's "head a wobble" as soon as they can.

I hate it personally - I think you can do so much more for a person by just showing them where they could have faulty thinking, rather than saying "You sound delightful" or "You sound awful to live with" etc.

Not this again.

Off you trot then?

Yes, this again. I think it needs to be said and I respect @Glitterballofdreams for saying it.

I actually haven’t seen a post regarding this before…I don’t spend my existence scrolling through MN posts to see if anything similar has ever been written. It’s just something that I have noticed in my very short time here.

Don’t forget to wear your pink dress tomorrow

Absolutely. I've just read the most patronising response I've seen in a while about how to dispose of household waste. (which was not what the poster was asking for).

I'm not articulate enough to explain how I view it, other than to just say it's easy to be a "perfect" version of yourself when nobody knows who you are, and with that comes the opportunity to remind people why they aren't. If these were real life interactions, they'd be totally different.

Edit to add - it's the internet. You have to learn to take everything with a pinch of salt and laugh at the nonsense. There's no benefit to taking things personally.

You originally wrote "Other forms of entertainment are available" before editing your post @TeenToTwenties and I think you'd struck on the heart of the matter originally.

@JacquesHarlow No I didn't, it was a different poster who wrote that.

Oh no are women not being kind enough for you 🙄🙄🙄

If you post in AIBU then some people will probably tell you that YABU.

Was that the battery thread? That was the most entertaining thread I have read for some time. My god. I loved how the OP didn’t relent though. All the comments were making out she was killing kittens for fun.

I think it’s because people post everything on AIBU. If they used the appropriate board, they’re likely to get a more nuanced response. People post on here to get maximum readership and I think it’s to be expected that if you’re asking someone if you’re being unreasonable then you need to expect that some people think you are.

Yep, it’s feeling like it’s stopped being useful and interesting because every thread turns into a cesspit as soon as one person starts up.

I’m trying to wean myself off because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I used to be excited to come on, now I think “Ugh, guess I’ll check Mumsnet..” I’d like to just forget it exists but it’s such an ingrained habit at this point.

It isn’t only on AIBU posts though!

That's not what some people are doing though.

If people were just doing that, I'd understand. It's called AIBU for a reason.

Instead there are posters who are looking to deliberately gaslight an OP who is troubled or worried, by saying personal and difficult comments such as

"you sound unhinged"
"you should be embarrassed, OP"
"you sound lovely"
"get a f_cking grip"
"you do know you sound bonkers right?"

How is any of that helpful? It's just personal attack.

Is it ok if the poster in question should actually be embarrassed?

Are your negative posts helping?

And sorry I didn't finish the post above -

Those examples actually aren't the gaslighting ones.

It is the ones where someone comes on with a really vulnerable personal one about their DH working in a small company, who has started working with a co-worker who he has invited to dinner so the OP can get to know her.

You then get the slew of people trying to make the OP uncomfortable"

"100 times out of 100 they will be shagging. Get legal advice"
"You sound insecure. Are you sure you're not the problem here?"
"You sound bitter. Maybe a gym membership and a makeover will make you less so"
"She sounds like she's got her claws in already"

etc etc

None of this based off any information from the OP, and couldn't possibly be so because the OP hasn't said anything yet in detail!

Just users who seem to delight in making the OP feel that bit more uneasy.

I'm sure though I'll be told shortly ....

"You sound invested, @JacquesHarlow "