To think that there are too many judgemental, purposely hurtful comments on MN?!

[Glitterballofdreams]

The majority of the posts I’ve been reading recently, have too many b*tchy, judgemental and rude responses on them. Or extreme overreactions such as advising people to leave their husband over silly little arguments!
Women certainly do seem to enjoy dragging other women down.
Anyone else noticed this?

Mumsnet hasn’t changed in the 10+ years I’ve been reading it. It’s still a wide variety of people commenting. Sometimes extremely kindly and painstakingly with their own personal painful experience to share, sometimes very blunt and not agreeing with the OP. Sometimes the OP is absolutely bonkers. Sometimes the advice seems extreme because the posters are advising from a position of personal traumatic experience (most of the LTB comments)

You are right. Too many people role play in being the Columbo of the cheating world and forget there are real human beings who may suffer because "trust your gut" is seen as infallible advice.

Don't be ridiculous. MN is supposed to be for help and support not for internet warriors to savage genuine posters.

Why is that posters wearing a pink dress tomorrow?

I do think that's a big part of it. A lot.of people who make posts where they are just so calm and perfect and the opposite side is so horrible "AIBU?" It means that people get used to this being an entertainment site rather than and advice site.

Then you get people responding with vitriol, because it's entertainment. Riling each other up with "petty" acts or oh so clever comebacks that they would never say, because it's entertainment.

As other posters have said, other parts of the site are free of this, but the main parts are now just an elaborate internet role play with all of the negatives that come from that.

I think it's a sly reference to Mean Girls . "On Wednesdays, we wear pink".

How kind of the op

A lot of the negative comments on here are men pretending to be women, MRA’s often hang out on the Feminism board. You can often tell. So bear that in mind.

Stay off AIBU.

Remember that there are a lot of sad individuals out there who use anonymous SM to vent their frustrations - they’d never do half the things they insist the OP should do themselves. Or speak like that in RL.

I always think MN attracts a lot of the type of people who would’ve written poison pen letters in the old days! With SM it’s just easier for them to say spiteful things now and get away with it.

I always try to make sure I don’t post anything that I’d be ashamed to voice in RL.

That's why so many pp are turning to Chat G PT as it doesn't do that and is genuinely supportive. Then of course, pp get torn down for admitting they use it! It's a pretty sad state of affairs when a LLM is more sympathetic than actual humans!

YSNBU but remember we gave no idea who another poster is. They could be male uncles in Virginia or Bristol. Or a 30yr old mum in Kent. Etc. We have no idea. Some of the more vociferous / nasty posts I’ve seen I’m sure are written by men. But god forbid I suggest that!

That's always been the case with devices that are created to serve people. Of course they're more pleasing than people. The Stepford Wives spring to mind. I'm not suggesting it's OK to be abusive online but it's also a concern when people prefer a computer designed to please them over actual human interaction.

I relplied, "did ye aye" to a poster a few weeks ago. It was a poster who said she found a wallet and because the " non English" woman who answered the door didn't fawn over her/offer her a reward that she should've just stolen the wallet.
I did not believe it was real as it was racist and spiteful.
I am not a nasty person so was a bit upset at the email from mnhq, telling me it was unacceptable behaviour, on my part.
Do not be sarcastic people 😂

I cannot get over the judgement dished out.

It’s AIBU so it’s expected to get snarky comments and you are being VU if you’re assuming that all the nasty remarks are from women. 😂😂

Surely you realise that there are a lot of vile men on this site who love to be nasty to women and the anonymity this site affords (especially allowing name changes) gives them the perfect opportunity to stick the boot in.

If you post a genuine issue on the right board, you’ll get mostly excellent advice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

or often advising people to go nuclear and ruin family communications when in real life they’re scared of the doorbell.

another poster made me realise myself that as much as you feel outraged in yourself and for posters. It’s rarely ever useful to go in guns blazing regarding ILs etc. it’s doesn’t solve anything.

it definitely encouraged me to be more tempered in my responses because people do take the advice on here at times. And we should try and be genuine in our advice rather than encourage behaviour that doesn’t problem solve or causes friction with your partners family for low level annoyance.

And if you dont find it supportive... you may leave.
Why spend time somewhere you find unpleasant?

The point I'm getting at is that it shouldn't be that way.

Call me an idealist but kicking someone when they're struggling isn't very nice.