Wasn't allowed to use disabled toilet despite the fact no other toilet was available. AIBU?

[fakenamefornow]

Seaside town with beach that stretches about 1.5 miles away from town centre with just flats and houses facing beach, ie no pubs or cafés that might let me use the toilet. It's about 10am rainy January morning, nobody else about apart from about two/three people and dogs on the beach.
Half way along on seafront is a public toilet block. Both mens and womens shuttered up and locked. Disabled toilet, locked, had a phone number to call for remote access so they could let people in. Called number and despite me pleading that I was desperate for the loo (I was) and pointing out no others available, I was refused absolutely point blank access because I wasn't disabled.
I don't think this is fair at all, but what do others think?
YANBU - she should have let you in.
YABU - no way should she have let you in regardless of how much you needed the loo.

In Weston? I know one of the automatic loos was out of order just before Christmas, but there’s others along the prom and they’re usually 24/7. It tends to only be the big attended loos that have opening and closing times.
I recommend the Wetherspoons if there’s no others available, that place is huge and nobody notices if you nip in to use the facilities.

Changing places toilets have specialised expensive equipment. They are not for regular users.

but the council should have the regular toilets open.

I voted the wrong way, but you are not being unreasonable, accessible toilets are not just for disabled people anyway, they are for people with access needs. And if the other toilets weren’t open you should have been allowed in.

@fakenamefornow Where did you end up peeing? That's the real cliffhanger!

Well no…they have specialised equipment available, yes. But they also have a toilet that is totally useable for the general public. Changing places toilets are all about increasing access not excluding people Becuase they aren’t ’the correct user’. And I say that as a disabled person who uses changing places bathrooms.

I always think this argument is a straw man.

A disabled person can use those toilets, yes, but they don't always have instant access - because another disabled person may be using it.

If it was a case of weeing yourself or pooing your pants surely as a disabled person you'd have the compassion to allow someone else to use it especially if they were already in the toilet before you?

I have a friend who is not 'disabled as such but has a medical condition where they can't wait. No one would know by looking at them, so you can't judge if anyone has a right to use a disabled loo. There are people who can' t wait, for all kinds of reasons.

Just say that your radar key doesn't work in this toilet.

I got tuts because the baby changing facility was in the disabled loo. Not my problem. Another place the baby changing was in the gents.

By the same token, what happens if someone with a genuine disability is already using the loo when your hypothetical person needs it?

It's the same thing!

A non disabled person using a disabled loo should just be mindful not to be in there too long, and if there's a queue, then let a disabled person in first.

I agree bad system really. A disabled person has to telephone a number and reveal their medical situation to a stranger. Also why were the other toilets locked? Could she not remotely open them?

This ^

In the complaint to the council I would detail the date and time of the call so they can identify the member of staff.

They are more likely to have instant access if it's only disabled people using it than if its disabled people plus able bodied people who've bought a radar key online.

No. A non disabled person shouldn’t be using the disabled toilet. No matter how long they are there.

I was going to ask if it was a Changing Places toilet and I see your update says it was. CPs are an additional facility for those with the most complex needs who's needs are not met by regular accessible toilets, they are provided in addition to regular toilets and accessible toilets, the equipment in them is expensive and specialist and if they are damaged then it can mean the difference between a person with a complex disability having a day out or having to stay home. If you call the Changing Places team I am sure they will explain the reasoning to you.

Slightly off-topic, but what does "disabled" mean in this context?

I'm physically fit and able, but over the last couple of weeks I've begun to wonder whether I might suffer* from IBS or IBD (possibly Crohn's disease) and I'm wondering if I should have a right to use a disabled toilet.

Should I be getting a Radar key?

*I'm positive for a particular antigen that makes me particulalrly susceptible to various autoimmune disorders which have become more evident as I get older

You should have said you were trans. A guy my DP works with has disabled toilet access because the surgery has made going to the loo an issue.

TBH if you are going to poo your pants any toilet is necessary.

so what should they do on an empty seafront in January?

Quite.

I would have just gone in the sand next to it if there wasn’t anyone else about.

But what if a disabled toilet is all that is available?

@BoredZelda thinks that non-disabled people should never use a disabled toilet.

So what qualifies as a "disability" in this context?

Take your points, but it doesn't make the argument a straw man. It's just maths - if more people (than strictly need them) get/use radar keys then the chances of the disabled loo being available to those who do strictly need them goes down. Sure people can manage things in individual situations, but there has to be a general rule or 'just get a radar key off Amazon' becomes the norm and it's a loo for all not for the intended users.

Agree with those who say this is an issue of the main loos being locked up and lack of availability of public loos in general. The Changing Places loo is specific and not for the OP's situation, which could have happened in any number of places where there were no loos and we all have to deal with those situations. When there's no other parking spaces and you need to park, you don't park in a disabled space. I think it's fair enough and would have gone wild if needs be (e.g. in a bag, out of sight and binned it) rather than argue my case to use a facility that's clearly not intended for me.

You are missing the point. Being able bodied does not mean the person has no bladder or bowel issues.

No one who is in perfect health should use the disabled loo.

But there are many people with health issues that do not affect mobility yet need a loo urgently and yes, they can plan around this but as posters have said, there is always the time when an 'ordinary' loo is broken or closed.

Public toilets all shuttered in my closest city except disabled. Do they think able bodied people can just go all day without needing the loo? It will have an effect on the viability of town and city shops and people won’t go there if there are no toilets. Ridiculous to not let you in.

Lots of those people are included in the usual disabled loos and no one would argue that someone in the throes of IBS shouldn't go in the disabled loo rather than queue for the others. But this isn't a usual disabled loo as people have explained upthread. It's specifically funded/maintained for its target group so it has its own rules and that's okay.

You post seems to show a lack of empathy.
I don't know anyone who has bought a radar key out of sheer selfishness so they can use it without good reason.

I do know women with bladder conditions, bowel conditions, men with prostate issues , on cancer treatment which affects bowels, none of which would be defined as 'disability' and they won't be carrying a blue badge for their car.

But they have extreme urgency and unless they ought to stay at home all the time just in case a public loo is locked, except the disabled one, what should they do? Never go out?