Yes, there seems no easy correlation between how harsh the bombing was, the success of stabilisation, and the people's attitudes later.
Maybe even a positive correlation between intensity and support later (Japan, Germany, Vietnam). I'd guess it's different reasons though: Japan and Germany needed to know they had lost and the regime had failed. Vietnam didn't end like that, but it did have communism afterwards which didn't go well, followed by marketisation/Westernisation which brought a lot of wealth.
The worst outcomes seem to be either brutal regimes or the endless conflicts where noone ever wins or loses and grievances continue forever.