I want half in the divorce. Am I likely to get it.

[Divorcein40swoman]

Posted here for traffic ..

Just looking for some legal advice.
Married 6 years . Together 15
I left him... moved out the house when he was away .. tod him afterwards
No children
He put down £200k for the house which came from the sale of a flat he owned I his name before we married.
Joint mortgage each paying half.
I continued to pay after I left which was last year
I want the divorce
I have no savings ... he has savings in an account in his name around 30k
He has an isa opened in his name after we married
We each have a pension. He can take his pension 10 years earlier than me as he's older
I earn slightly more than him and will be at work longer than him due to our ages

I want 50/50 of everything. The savings. The ISA and especially the house.
He's upset as he's not going to get a decent mortgage at his age . He also wants the £200k he put it to be given back. Us clear the mortgage and come away with about 50k each. I want half !!
What's likely to happen

Morally I dont think taking half is right based on what you describe.

Unless your were contributing when you were in his flat ...?
And If you werent contributing for the decade or whatever what were you doing with your assets? You talk his ISA? Where on earth is yours. I had one since 18...

You need a lawyer if you want full half.
I'd personally negotiate on the 50k offer.

If a house is 475k you can get a flat for 200k...
100k or so should see you fine.
I'd rather break now and be buying this summer than dicking about for 3 years.

See a solicitor or get an opinion from a barrister. No one on the internet can tell you what's likely to happen from the small amount of information you've provided. You've also been given loads of terrible, contradictory and inaccurate advice in this post. It's not going to actually get you anywhere.

How much is left on the mortgage? The 200k is his so you should get half of any equity since you bought the house. Is that less or more than 50k?

The 9 years cohabiting before marriage will lengthen the relationship taken into account not just the 6 years of marriage.
So here it becomes less clear. For the flat he had did you pay towards the mortgage and bills etc? For how long? This may not be as clear cut as this is his money from the deposit built up before they met.
He saved whilst you spent your ‘savings’ however depending on what the court will take into account as length of the whole relationship these savings before marriage could be counted as marital assents.
Usually any money built up during the marriage will be split equally and anything before the marriage will be each parties assets. However the younger age of the op and the longer earning and mortgage capacity could actually reduce this from 50/50 if the marital assets aren’t enough for the other party to adequately be housed and live.
There are many factors which will decide the settlement but do not assume 50/50 on every asset at all. You need proper advice and also to familiarise yourself with the matrimonial clauses act as well relevant as case law. You may find the offer of 50K is fair.

Greedy and entitled.

This is so ridiculously entitled, it reads like a reverse!

Of course you shouldn’t get half of what he put down as a deposit. That’s his money. Have some dignity.

I don’t want my sons to get married in future and lose half their wealth.

Fairly sure this is a reverse and there will be more to this than we are hearing from the OP.

He bought the 200k flat before you came along, you've then only been married a short time - 6 years, he put the 200k down as a deposit, you paid 50/50 on bills and have no children, you earn more. I can't see why you would take half. Granted he shouldn't have done 50/50 ownership, that was a mistake. I so hope you don't take 50/50, you'll be doing well if you give him his 200k back and then take half of what's left in the house, you are benefitting from the increase in value so effectively taking some of his profit. It isn't his job to help house you when you don't have any children, your marriage hasn't impacted your short term or long term earnings.

You definitely don't automatically get 50/50 on divorce, my brother was married 14 years (together 17 from aged 20) no children and their split was 35/65 to my brother. She did get her mitts on some of his pension though. Such a short marriage I wouldn't fancy your chances.

Same, you’ll easily spend £20-£30k each if you fight this out.
if you had kids it would be different but as you’re younger you have longer earning potential and it was a relatively short marriage.
how much equity is in the house?

Another thread full of terrible financial advice for women.

Once you get married, joints, particuarly those acquired during the marriage, which the house was, become joint. If you don't want them to become marital assets, don't acquire them during the marriage or don't get married.

The house will be deemed a marital asset, though you won't necessarily get 50:50. The savings are definitely a marital asset. The concept of pensions were set up with beneficiaries assumed.

This kind of stuff is what can give women a bad name in divorces where there nobody has been at fault and there are no children.

It sounds like your had a good marriage - why do you want to effectively steal from this man? He acquired his flat before he married you. Presumably you had no property asset at that point and were only able to buy one because of the £200k of his that he contributed to your joint purchase. If he was ONLY able to acquire the £200k and his savings because of you (eg if he saved whilst you didn't earn because you were off raising children, for example, or it you sacrificed your career for his, enabling him to save in the belief that this saving would be joint and benefit both of you) perhaps there would be an argument for a more even split but it doesn't sound as though this is the case.

Your marriage to him isn't your ticket to be able to purchase somewhere to live. Why should the he lose out so that you can gain? I hope your solicitor tells you to expect that he will have his contribution returned and the equity split equally. I also suspect you won't be able to go after his pension. You're not supporting joint dependents, which is where things can get messier.

Fuck me, this is one of the grabbiest threads I've read. He's been sensible with savings whilst you've merrily spent living in the moment and you want half?

I hope he shells out for an amazing solicitor!

Marital assets aren't 50:50. It's according to need. You earn more and are younger so you can raise a higher mortgage. He will get more.

@Divorcein40swoman And so does he with less capacity to do so. The courts take this into account. Both sets of needs are taken into account.

Christ was he stupid, he should never have married.

You earn more than him, are younger than him so have more potential for earning, you haven't sacrificed your career to raise children but you want to take half of what you didn't earn? If I've got that right, you're greedy.

Have you met someone else?

You do realise it can take months to divorce and he can refuse or drag it out.

Why is this a thread full of terrible advice for women. Sex is irrelevant here. No one has given up a career, and in this case the woman is the higher earner. The man sounds like the one being treated unfairly here.

OP can work. Why does she need to take whats not morally hers to set herself up for life? I’m not claiming a victory, just saying if someone has pre-marital assets then morally they should stay with that person. OP’s ex was naive not to protect his 200k and now he could face losing half. Wrong in my book.

No they are not.
You aren’t legally entitled to anything.
He can prove he had them BEFORE you. He can prove he paid half the mortgage. He is older than you so likewise his pension the bulk of it accumulated BEFORE he met you.

No Children.

The starting point is 50/50 as long as you are both equal contributors / you aren’t.

I would say 6 years you have little right to his pension and vice versa.

I would say this
let’s say your house is worth 500 K he put 200 K in and took out a joint mortgage for 200 K and it has risen 100 K.
let’s say the mortgage is now 100 K so there is 400 K in the house. As a judge I would divide it 200 K (his original back to him) 100 K each to both of you providing you have both equally paid for mortgage and bills.

If you have moved out and are paying 1/2 mortgage you should get the mortgage back but you have also proved to me the judge that you can afford to support yourself and pay half a mortgage whilst renting something ergo you have plenty to live on

You are single and have no kids. Were you renting before you met him? Yes - I would be looking to put you back in the same position. In your case given the amounts above eg equity in the house of 400 K I would give you half of the equity AFTER his money goes back to him. You don’t need to buy a house for your accommodation needs a one bedroom shared ownership flat would put you in a better position that the one you joined the marriage in.

seeking his 200K isn’t moral or ethical or normal.

If you had two children maybe but you need actually get out there and earning and stand on your own two feet. His career he got before you, his pension everything. It’s a relatively short marriage. If you come across unreasonable with the judge or court then you can say goodbye to any equity and might even end up paying costs.

be careful. You aren’t thinking reasonably.

In his position I would be saying I’m older I had a flat paid off and a decent pension before I met her. She moved into my flat and didn’t pay any rent and minimal bills (if any) she was saving on rent (she could of saved this and bought her own place whilst I was subsidising her life style but didn’t). I haven’t spent as much as her and am trying to save she is just spend spend spend her own money (and marital money) and now wants half of my savings too - this is my money I earnt it. I want to retire next year or have emergency money if I am unwell etc she has no assets the half of the mortgage she paid was less than the rent she should of been paying so she saved money. Since she left I have been paying all bills etc and saving to pay these legal costs as a divorce and going without holidays etc

I did know a woman who married a wealthy guy (had his own house) she persuaded him to buy a house with a pool he worked every hour to pay the mortgage on the new place. 5 years later she wanted a divorce. He got his original money back and 75% of equity in the new one as he could prove she hadn’t paid for refurbishments etc, she hadn’t paid for cleaners etc she had been on nice holidays etc with her income and upped her lifestyle. She like you was like I pay half the mortgage judge wasn’t having it.

Married doesn’t mean 50/50 that is the starting point but then that changes according to who put in what and contribution after marriage.

My DH put in far more than me into this house. He has retired now and I’m still earning. If we ever split up I would ensure he got his money back out of this house. Every penny we have is joint. But actually he is entitled to it. I couldn’t take his money.

You sound like Violet Beauregarde.

‘I’ve spunked all my own money up the wall my whole life. I now find myself in my forties with no assets and I’m panicking. I want this bloke I was married to for a bit in my late thirties who has saved his whole life to give me half of his savings. Aibu?’
yes, of course you are. You’ve made your bed.

The morality police? No, people who have some ethics and integrity.

She asked on AIBU and we’ve got every right to respond.

There are so many women on here in dire circumstances who deserve all our sympathy and support. The OP isn’t one of them. I rarely slam people on MN. This one truly deserves it.

She likes nice things, thinks saving money is for saps. Hope she reaps what she sows.

Yeah and i’d be worried about bad karma for doing something some morally wrong. Someone I know did something that many people judged her hugely on (and deservedly so) and she had nothing but terrible things happen to her since that day over 15yrs ago.

Jesus, this is hard faced.