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AIBU?

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Original poster

I want half in the divorce. Am I likely to get it.

258 replies

Divorcein40swoman · 12/01/2026 00:39

Posted here for traffic ..

Just looking for some legal advice.
Married 6 years . Together 15
I left him... moved out the house when he was away .. tod him afterwards
No children
He put down £200k for the house which came from the sale of a flat he owned I his name before we married.
Joint mortgage each paying half.
I continued to pay after I left which was last year
I want the divorce
I have no savings ... he has savings in an account in his name around 30k
He has an isa opened in his name after we married
We each have a pension. He can take his pension 10 years earlier than me as he's older
I earn slightly more than him and will be at work longer than him due to our ages

I want 50/50 of everything. The savings. The ISA and especially the house.
He's upset as he's not going to get a decent mortgage at his age . He also wants the £200k he put it to be given back. Us clear the mortgage and come away with about 50k each. I want half !!
What's likely to happen

OP posts:
FancyCatSlave · 12/01/2026 06:59

localnotail · 12/01/2026 06:40

I think you automatically get 50% of joint assets only after 10 years of marriage and if there are no children. But even then it can be contested. If he has evidence he put more than you into the house you wont have a chance.

That is not true! There is nothing automatic whatsoever.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 12/01/2026 07:00

I provided the whole (big) deposit, my ex put nothing in.
He got just under half (the kids are with me).

Morally you shouldn't get half - but I suspect you may.

Workingmum1313 · 12/01/2026 07:01

No the posters right. You need to look at case law.There really isn't cases where you can be married under ten years.And simply be given fifty fifty, it's not it's not like that.But after ten years, the law itself actually changes. Relationships, prior to the ten year mark are kind of sometimes included.But not always included, and you forget that the original flat that he raised capital for was also his.

Whaleandsnail6 · 12/01/2026 07:02

I hope you don't get half as I am the husband in this situation if we ever were to split.

The money used for our house deposit is inheritance that I received. Dh has always said he would be happy for me to have that back and split the equity if we were to divorce, but clearly morality goes out of the window once divorcing!

Also, I can't believe you frittered away your own spare cash, your partner saved his and you now want half of his savings

I know legally is different to mortality but poor bloke! In all honesty, people like you make me thing its best to not get married and just live together

You both need legal advice...I hope he gets fantastic representation who argues for him to keep as much as he can

shouldofgotamortage · 12/01/2026 07:03

Poor bloke, doubt you will get half with no kids. Your a very, very greedy woman. Bet your eyes lit up with greed when you met him.. how long you been planning this?

Sadza · 12/01/2026 07:03

I hope he gets a good lawyer.

sparrowhawkhere · 12/01/2026 07:04

Can’t believe you’re going after his savings when you didn’t save yours and lived in the moment! Poor bloke

bigboykitty · 12/01/2026 07:04

There is at least £250k equity in the property. He has savings - these are a marital asset. The value of both pension pots should be considered as well as any other savings/assets. The 9 years together before 6 years married is also considered in a divorce. It wouldn't be deemed a short marriage. This is definitely not a 'here's your £50k now fuck off and be grateful' situation. This is a legal question about divorce. People are staggeringly naive about the legal consequences of marriage/divorce.

Soontobe60 · 12/01/2026 07:07

Divorcein40swoman · 12/01/2026 01:02

I certainly don't want all his money. I just want what I am legally entitled to. Marrital assets are split 50/50

Show quote history

That’s the starting point. It’s not a definite. What money did you bring to the marriage out of interest? How big is your pension?
As others have said, it’s likely he will get more than you as he is older and less able to fund a mortgage before retirement. Neither of you are likely to get enough money to buy yourself separate homes - unless it’s a 1 bed flat!

TiredofLDN · 12/01/2026 07:08

SweetnsourNZ · 12/01/2026 05:42

Wondered that too. Really with no children and no one having to take time off for maternity purposes they should leave with what they brought to the marriage and half of any equity/debts after the marriage. For such a short marriage anything else is just being a gold digger to me.

Show quote history

I think definitely a reverse. It’s the username that gives it away- “woman” on the end. If you’re a woman, on mumsnet, you wouldn’t qualify that you are a woman.

And then all the rest.

bigboykitty · 12/01/2026 07:08

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 12/01/2026 06:51

Not always.

DH and I each had absolutely nothing when we met, so if we split (for simplicity I'll ignore the fact we'd have to account for childcare), we would be 50/50, regardless of our current earnings because at one point or another we've both been the higher earner and we've both paid more of the bills.

My sister however, her partner had a large cash deposit for their home from the same of his previous home and she had nothing. They pay bills according to their incomes, so he pays slightly more. If they split, he's entitled to more: what he put in plus his half of the proceeds from the joint home.

Your financial positions before the marriage and what you brought into it will be taken into account.

Look at it from the other side. If you'd put down a 200k deposit, would you be happy if he took half of it and then half of everything you'd paid for?

Show quote history

If your sister isn't married, this is totally different to the OP's situation.

Cosyblankets · 12/01/2026 07:08

MustardGlass · 12/01/2026 02:29

You keep saying you paid half…..but you didn’t, you paid half after he paid the large deposit. Legal fees are a killer and mount up very quickly.

And she only paid half of the mortgage even though she earned more so it wasn't even proportionate
Grabby beyond belief

crazeekat · 12/01/2026 07:09

whatnhave u done to deserve half tho? He put £200k in more than you to get the home. If the shoe was on the other foot why would he deserve half?? Where has the savings come from? Have u contributed any? Where have your wages gone? You need to explain more. Good luck with solicitors you will need it with the way you appear here. You sound however like a money hungry woman who is consumed by greed. Hope ur husband has a good solicitor. Hope u have the money to pay yours.

MyDeftDuck · 12/01/2026 07:10

What does your solicitor recommend you to do?

FancyCatSlave · 12/01/2026 07:10

I love how emphatic some posters are that they are correct, but my divorce was finalised LAST MONTH in England. We have a 6 year old, 11 year marriage (13 year relationship). No pre-nup. HE DID NOT GET HALF.

Financial settlements are very individual, there is nothing automatic.

HomeTheatreSystem · 12/01/2026 07:12

FancyCatSlave · 12/01/2026 07:10

I love how emphatic some posters are that they are correct, but my divorce was finalised LAST MONTH in England. We have a 6 year old, 11 year marriage (13 year relationship). No pre-nup. HE DID NOT GET HALF.

Financial settlements are very individual, there is nothing automatic.

Agree. It is more accurate to say that 50/50 is the starting point and is adjusted from there based on need.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 12/01/2026 07:13

bigboykitty · 12/01/2026 07:08

If your sister isn't married, this is totally different to the OP's situation.

Show quote history

They are now. They weren't when he sold the previous house. So it's actually pretty similar and the finances are more relevant than anything else.

Aside from that, it's pointing out why some divorces are financial 50/50 and why some aren't. Ours would be if we didn't have DD. But we do, and while I am 100% sure DH would want 50/50 childcare, it wouldn't be feasible with his working hours and role, so she'd be with me more, so I'd likely end up with slightly more.

My other sister got married the day after they completed on their house. No children, he pays more. He put in a larger chunk of the deposit. They each ring fenced their contribution. He'd get more, and as much as my loyalties will always lie with my sister if there was a fight, he absolutely should.

Londonrach1 · 12/01/2026 07:13

You leave a short marriage with no children with what you come into so take the 50k.

Catsandbikes · 12/01/2026 07:14

ThatsPlentyIsa · 12/01/2026 01:11

Is this a reverse? (Ie, are you the disgruntled husband rehearsing your soon to be ex’s likely grabtacular arguments to get some potential defences constructed?)

Edited

This absolutely sounds like a reverse
Get a solicitor and stop wasting women's time OP

crazeekat · 12/01/2026 07:14

Divorcein40swoman · 12/01/2026 00:54

This is basically what he's saying. That won't buy me anywhere though. All the advice I am seeing online says savings investments pensions and so on are marital assets. He opened his own savings account when we had been married a year. Same with the isa he took out. Pension he had for 15 years before we met. He's paid into 5 or 6 years of it whilst married .

I just want to make sure I go into this knowing what I am entitled to. They are marital assets

Show quote history

The £200k is his. Tuff shit eh. Absolute greed get a job and mortgage like the rest of single woman have to do.

Gettingbysomehow · 12/01/2026 07:14

Why aren't you asking a proper divorce solicitor?

Morepositivemum · 12/01/2026 07:16

Op in real life a lot of people can’t afford to buy what they want after they split- everyone on mn acts like a divorce means they get the life they want just without the other person they joined with to have that life in the first place but most people I know that sold ended up renting or buying something they probably didn’t really think they’d live in. That or in the case of with kids the men living in a flat/ with parents/ homeless.

disappearingfish · 12/01/2026 07:16

OP you will not get good legal advice from AIBU. See what your solicitor says but be prepared for disappointment. This was a short marriage with no children, 50:50 could be ambitious and he has all the incentives to fight for his pre-marital assets.

daisychain01 · 12/01/2026 07:17

RestartingForNY · 12/01/2026 06:33

See a lawyer but (a) you are probably right that the house will be a marital asset after a 15 year relationship (the period you lived together before marriage extends the 6 years of marriage), (b) if the house is in both your names you have genuine leverage there as you can try and force a sale (otherwise the cost of fighting for your divorce share could be more than the value), (c) any savings he built up during your marriage are likely to also be marital assets, as are pensions etc, (d) the divorce and the financial settlement are two different things.

you are probably right that the house will be a marital asset after a 15 year relationship (the period you lived together before marriage extends the 6 years of marriage)

you are definitely not right that the court will consider the house as a marital asset, as their marriage is only 6 years. Marital = marriage = 6 years not 15 years

ShawnaMacallister · 12/01/2026 07:17

Where do you live and what do you earn where £50k isn't enough for a deposit on a place? I'm in the south east and bought a flat with £37k deposit and a £50k salary. It's not a palace but it's decent. Why do you think you're entitled to half the money he earned before you were married? Did you live in his flat rent free or did you pay towards the mortgage before you got married? Even if so, you'd be entitled to a proportion of the equity from the point that you started contributing, not to his saved deposit. No kids so you had no barrier to earning yourself and no 'support' to his career at the detriment of your own.