I want half in the divorce. Am I likely to get it.

[Divorcein40swoman]

Posted here for traffic ..

Just looking for some legal advice.
Married 6 years . Together 15
I left him... moved out the house when he was away .. tod him afterwards
No children
He put down £200k for the house which came from the sale of a flat he owned I his name before we married.
Joint mortgage each paying half.
I continued to pay after I left which was last year
I want the divorce
I have no savings ... he has savings in an account in his name around 30k
He has an isa opened in his name after we married
We each have a pension. He can take his pension 10 years earlier than me as he's older
I earn slightly more than him and will be at work longer than him due to our ages

I want 50/50 of everything. The savings. The ISA and especially the house.
He's upset as he's not going to get a decent mortgage at his age . He also wants the £200k he put it to be given back. Us clear the mortgage and come away with about 50k each. I want half !!
What's likely to happen

You just look super greedy after a short marriage. Your not entitled to the money he put into the house, how do you think that's fair and tbh of you were paying some or mortgage wouldn't that be your part of rent while you were there. A judge would very much take into consideration how short a marriage how much he put in etc etc and how old he or you is etc

My ex didn’t get anything close to 50% of my total assets so I don’t think you have a hope in hell if he gets decent legal representation. Everything I had pre-marriage stayed with me.

50/50 of all assests, regardless of what mumsnet will tell you, is not at all the default. It’s just the starting point. Ex got half of one property, but the considerable equity I contributed (he contributed none and was financially reckless) was recognised. As was his inability to manage his finances. My pension was vastly more and I kept it all although to be fair he didn’t push for it and we share a young child.

You’d probably get more than £50k but not half. A judge won’t give a shit if it means you are in rented as opposed to mortgaged. You earn well and are younger so have more earning power.

You'd be better off putting this in legal I'd have thought, and seeking proper legal advice.

I know what I think should happen morally but I won't be the judge deciding the case.

Is this a reverse? (Ie, are you the disgruntled husband rehearsing your soon to be ex’s likely grabtacular arguments to get some potential defences constructed?)

Just find a good lawyer and see what they advise. I know you want to save the money but this is probably the wisest course.

I am the soon to be ex wife in this scenario. I am not disgruntled. He wanted to make the marriage work. I checked out and wasn't happy. He wasn't a bad person . He asked me to come back many many times . I just wanted to find myself I suppose. I just wasn't happy and i grew apart from him. Because of this he accused me of cheating . I was just going away and out with friends more and trying to live my life. It put strain on us and I thought it was better for everyone if I just left.

This is why I won't get married. Shocking.

You’re unbelievable.

He can only retire earlier because he’s older. Thwt means you have ten years longer to build up security. Why haven’t you saved yourself if you earn more than your husband?

Without his deposit you wouldn’t have been able to buy a place which has enabled you both to build equity in the property. Take half the equity after the £200k is returned to your husband and you’re lucky if you get much else.

You werent even together that long to be honest.

This is disgusting.

Short marriage and no children? You don't deserve anything that you didn't put in. I sincerely hope that no court would award you anything like 50/50. The system shouldn't reward gold diggers.

We were together 15 years

As for saving when we were together. I paid my half the mortgage half the bills and then I liked meals out holidays clothes and things like this. We didnt have children we were free to do as we wished. We had a nice life. He enjoyed those things to. We split the costs but he liked to have savings just in case. . I tended to live in the moment and just enjoy our life. I didn't think we would split up.

You chose to spend on things you "liked", he chose to save.

You sound grabby and, frankly, a crap life partner, he's well rid. You won't get 50/50 and nor should you.

Wow. You are disgustingly grabby. Where’s your self-respect?! Why on earth do you think he should fund your lifestyle with his savings after you’ve left him?!

Well thats your problem, not his. This is what is fair and just and will be what you are entitled to.
Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot...

Absolute golddigger.

I hope he gets one hell of a lawyer.

Why on earth should you get 50% of his deposit??

And pension and 50% equity on the house.
@Divorcein40swoman why would a judge give you half? I'm sure both your future financials will also be considered so don't think a judge will take your side because you aspire to be a free loader on the back of your ex dp.
Get real.

There's no way you're getting half of this.
The marriage is only 6 years long and you've co-owned a house for 4 years.
Not a chance you'll get anywhere near 50%.

Agreed.

Vile.

Fighting for what you think you’re legally entitled to isn’t the same thing as being fair and honest. The man’s £200,000 that he put into it is his money. You saying £50,000 isn’t enough to buy a home really isn’t his problem.

NEEDS

You both have equal needs, that being (as far as I can tell) a 1-bedroom property bought in the area you are broadly in (unless you plan to move), which you can afford. The property should be roughly in line with your marital living standards, where affordable.

so look on Rightmove. Let’s say avg property of this kind is £250k.

then find out your mortgage capacity. Let’s say is £150k based on your salary.

This means you NEED £100k in order to rehouse and he does too (unless he needs a specific type of property like disability adapted for example).

Work from what each of you need out of the liquid assets (everything netted down, apart from pensions which are not liquid). You should get what you need, or as close to it as possible if less. That overrides whatever he put in as extra, because both of your housing needs take priority.

Present him with your Rightmove properties and mortgage capacity to explain the maths. Divide, move on.

This has to be a joke post right? You’re not being unreasonable you’re being incredibly incredibly unreasonable. You didn’t put anywhere near as much money into the house. And the savings are not yours. Grow up!

You’re saying, basically, that you live in a
”community property” state like California.
Now I’m unfamiliar with how the UK splits up its areas and I’m unfamiliar with UK law, whether it’s the same all over the UK or if it’s different in say, Yorkshire than it is in London.
I got divorced in California in the 90s. I had stopped working at my husband’s insistence. He phoned me one evening out of the clear blue and told me he wanted a divorce.
He was living in a different state than our marital home and I got frightened that he’d file in that state - so I filed in California.
I never wanted a divorce.
But my filing for divorce - like he wanted?
That (for reasons known only to him) made him furious. No - beyond furious. Incensed.
Long story short, I got half of everything plus alimony - and my ‘93 attorney fees were $85,000. Shocking even today - right? In 2025 money, that’s $164,000.
My husband was soooo angry that I got an attorney and filed for divorce, that he kept me in court to the tune of $85,000. That was $25,000 more than my profits from the sale of our home.
He crippled me. Because he could.
That’s just my story.
Oh - and the kicker? He’d had a lover AND a toddler in that other state.
He’d been.cheating on me for years.
I’d tread carefully.