I want half in the divorce. Am I likely to get it.

[Divorcein40swoman]

Posted here for traffic ..

Just looking for some legal advice.
Married 6 years . Together 15
I left him... moved out the house when he was away .. tod him afterwards
No children
He put down £200k for the house which came from the sale of a flat he owned I his name before we married.
Joint mortgage each paying half.
I continued to pay after I left which was last year
I want the divorce
I have no savings ... he has savings in an account in his name around 30k
He has an isa opened in his name after we married
We each have a pension. He can take his pension 10 years earlier than me as he's older
I earn slightly more than him and will be at work longer than him due to our ages

I want 50/50 of everything. The savings. The ISA and especially the house.
He's upset as he's not going to get a decent mortgage at his age . He also wants the £200k he put it to be given back. Us clear the mortgage and come away with about 50k each. I want half !!
What's likely to happen

I think he’d say it was you making it difficult.

your situation is different to the OPs. You had 2 children. You may have also been married longer than 6 years. The OP would not get 50%. That is normally the starting point, before considering the individual circumstances of both parties in the marriage.

https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law-information/

PDF guides for divorce & separation - they lay out the legal starting point.

Poor bloke. Accept the 50K and leave him in peace.

Paid 465k for the house.

Now.. its probably worth around 475k

Would need to get it valued which is what I will be asking to happen soon. But thats what similar properties are going for on the street

Obviously the other issue is how long all this is likely to take. What happens I'd he refuses to sign the divorce papers then what ???

Wondered that too. Really with no children and no one having to take time off for maternity purposes they should leave with what they brought to the marriage and half of any equity/debts after the marriage. For such a short marriage anything else is just being a gold digger to me.

This

If you're going to demand half of everything, when you yourself have acknowledged that he put down £200k for your home together and knowing that is inequitable, then you also shouldn't be surprised that he may choose to draw out this divorce to attempt to protect his money and assets.

If you are so well paid OP, why do you not have savings of your own?

Also, you are quite right - £50k as a deposit on a property won't get you anything like the home you're used to, but that's because it's financed via two incomes, but it will get you somewhere you can live. You have no children so there is no provision needed for them in both homes.

You will need to temper your expectations, OP. Divorce isn't a payday.

Yep. And retribution can be brutal. I guess OP will have to find that out on her own, because her mind is already made up.
And that could be very, very costly.

Obviously the other issue is how long all this is likely to take. What happens I'd he refuses to sign the divorce papers then what ???

you're leaping ahead here.

firstly you need to reset your expectations reasonably. You've asked for advice and opinions on here and you're going to see a solicitor for their expert view on the situation.

if you put forward a proposal that is likely to be agreed by your ex and by the court, then there is no reason why you should both need to prolong things. It sounds like he is keen to finish things quickly. Hence why he is willing to give you £50K and not drag things out, if you decide you want more, and based on what you've read in here, then you're likely to be the cause of any delay.

The 9 years of living together may actually count for something. You didn't reveal that in the beginning which made your relationship sound short. Think you need a lawyer really as it sounds messy and if you were paying his share of holidays etc so he could save the deposit that may make a difference.

House prices are falling. Just because similar houses are on the market for 475k doesn't mean they'll sell for that. It's quite possible your house will sell for less than you paid for it.

Frankly, I'd accept his £50k offer pronto. If he talks to a lawyer he may well offer significantly less.

Post in legal @Divorcein40swoman for proper advice. You'll only get the morality police in AIBU and they know nothing about what's likely to happen.

I got divorced in similar circumstances. At that time I was told if the marriage was short, around 5 years, the court looks to put you both back in a similar position to where you were. That would mean he gets more as he had more.

The £200k

did that come from a flat you both lived in and how many years did you live in the flat? How many years did you pay towards the mortgage in the flat?

I don’t mean to be rude but you sound extremely ruthless.

You sound greedy AF

One of the big reasons why I will never be married. Lots of opinions and life experience here. I have a good friend who is two years into a divorce at present. Her husband is a successful finance type guy and the history of them is very similar to the OP, just with much bigger numbers. The advice given to her by the solicitor she has is that she can take him for half of everything - the home, his savings, his pension and even the cat if you could cut it in half! They have no children and the property is a substantial 4 bed house in a leafy SW London suburb.

She is however not going to take him to the cleaners as the deposit was his, the pension is his and she was very much in her own words a kept woman through the marriage. She does however want enough to set herself up in a modest 1 or 2 bed flat in the same area and they have landed on £250k for her to walk. The alternative for both is drawing out the process (it’s already gone on for ages and she is a mess), and running up expensive legal bills.

There are two things here - what you could do and what you should do. To me it is morally bankrupt to try and better yourself out of a divorce. What he has paid in should be his and you should split the rest. I suspect your mind is already made up that you are going to take him for every penny that you can, and it reinforces why I will never be married and why the house that I own with my partner has a contract of who gets what in the event of a sale written.

Sorry OP on a very basic human level you sound pretty awful and I say that as a lawyer (not a family lawyer though and I am used to corporate sharks). It’s not his fault that you have no personal savings, though sadly this leaves your ability to share what you have reduced. It sounds like you want him to come out of this significantly reduced (which is in effect a 50/50 here would do as you came into this with little). Well I hope you’ve found yourself. And he finds someone who really loves him.

So the house has only made £10k since purchase and that’s not enough. You keep saying you were together 15 years. You were only married for 6 years and have no kids. To take half of
the equity he put in would be completely immoral. I don’t know about the legality, but it would be deeply unfair to do that, particularly as you want to leave the marriage and he has seemingly done nothing wrong. The fact that you would go for his savings is appalling. You earn more, but chose to spend it all. He chose to save. Why should he have less because of your decisions? You sound very immature and selfish to be honest.

You come across so grabby and entitled OP. If your DH didn't ring fence his £200k deposit then I'll be sad because you don't deserve to take that off him. I hope he gets an excellent solicitor and manages to come away with his savings and pension intact at the very least. You should be ashamed of your attitude.

This is why I never divorced my husband, because I had an excellent pension and he had barely anything due to "living in the moment" and frittering all his money away (he earned at least 3x my salary).

This would be a great plot for a Horlicks advert. Do you remember those? It was full of people doing very bad things, and the strap line was :

"How do you sleep at night?"

And the baddy replies :

"Horlicks"

I'm not sure how you can suggest 50/50 with a straight face Op. Absolutely appalling.

So he was sensible and used some of his money to put in savings, whilst you were irresponsible and wasted your money - now you’re moaning you’ve not got no savings and want his?

Where is your empathy?

This is someone you’ve been with for 15 years.
You want out of this marriage but he doesn’t.
I would be trying to make this as least damaging as possible for him.

Why are you so heartless?
Have you met someone else?

Not a solicitor, but I would take the £50,000 and leave him be. I imagine the fact you haven’t got children will play a part here.