Would you tell them you know?

[Travelfairy]

A few weeks ago, on a group chat about a night out a colleague/former colleague (I'm currently on extended leave) put a nasty comment about me to a another colleague. It seems she thought the message was directly to her and not on the group. It was deleted quickly but there long enough for me and everyone else to see.

The group went silent since. I never replied or commented either way.
YABU - tell them what a pair of bitches they are next time you see them/message them
YANBU- let them stew and act as two faced as they do to me!

I would keep quiet about it. Just be your normal self. There's nothing you (or they) can say or do about it, EVERYONE knows, and everyone knows you know, so they are going to look bad. By keeping your dignity and carrying on as normal, you are the one who looks professional, and by not calling them out you are the bigger person. That is the sort of thing that sticks in people's minds, not the nasty insults.

Thanks for all the replies. I have kept quiet about it til now so I think I'll continue as I have been. Rise above the BS!

It's never too late to pull someone up on unacceptable behaviour.

I would say I saw what you put about me on the group chat. Don't speak to me again. Cut them dead. Don't tolerate any she's over reacting crap.

Next time you see her, stare directly at her and calmly ask why she felt it necessary to be so rude about you on a public forum. Don’t say anything else and just let her talk her way out of it - she’ll be coughing and spluttering her response.

There are examples in case law where social whatsapp
messages has been used to evidence bullying and victimisation. So if part of a wider picture I'd make a mental note of day and time in case you need to bring a claim (you are on matleave?)

Oh I know she'd be spluttering. I didnt put in original post, she lives on the same street as me but a good bit further down, ie not a direct neighbour but will see her around at shops/salon etc I think i will just nod and walk on.

To answer another poster no I'm not on mat leave, parental so similar

Silence is powerful.

I think a rye chuckle would be good next time you see her. Kind of, you outed yourself and now everyone knows who you are, ha ha

When you see them, evil stare then turn away and don't even look at them again. That way, they know you know, but you rise above them.

I think I’d have to raise it with HR…in my old company (I don’t work anymore) this would have been a misconduct issue..in fact, I’m sure some people were sacked for similar. Let them shit themselves for a bit.