Ex on holiday for 'space' with a girl

[Newtothis213]

My on/off ex has been asking for space to decide what he wants, lots of history over a few years but not relevant to the story.

He has now booked a city break with a friend (female) and has said we'll speak when he's back. Can't decide if I'm being a mug to hang around and give him space or whether to move on. Obvs I'm concerned something happens between them when they're away - I don't think anything is going on right now since hes asked to talk to me when home

AIBU to be furious hes done this even though we're not together?

Why’s he an on / off ex
absolutely bin him off, block and and stop being his just in case partner
Have some blooming self respect and stop waiting for him to make decisions

He’s an ex he can do what he wants. But why are you hanging about waiting for him? Dont be a mug, you can do better!

He’s keeping his options open.
Move on and forget him.
Do not lower yourself to do the “pick me” stuff.

It sounds like the relationship has very much run its course. You refer to him as an ex, so he's free to go where he wants with who he wants. I don't think you need to either hang around or move on immediately. Just live your life, and when he comes back to speak to you make it clear that as far as you're concerned it's over. It doesn't need to be a big angry conversation.

Just block him. I mean why are you even giving his shit headspace? He's off shagging his new gf.
It really is that simple.

Not sure how much clearer he could be by going away with another woman. Whether he realises it or not, his actions say it all.

You deserve better, finish it for good and find someone who is fucking certain they want you.

LTB
honestly, don’t put up with his shite.

Look, it doesn't really matter if he's gone for a break away with his hamster.

There is no relationship between you two.

If there was, you wouldn't be 'on/off', would you?

Just bin him off.

What are you waiting for? Are you his pensioner? Just tell him to fuck off.

He's obviously seeing how his new relationship goes and keeping you as a back up in case it doesn't work out.

Honestly, just get rid. There's a reason your relationship is 'on/off' again. Don't accept scraps. He will learn that you are happy to wait in the wings while he goes seeking something better, this won't be the last time.

Of course your being a mug.

Decide what you want. Do you want your ex, who is seeing someone else while keeping you hanging on, back? Do you like this feeling? Do you want to keep feeling it indefinitely?

Absolutely bin him off don't wait on a low life like him you can do better op

He’s an ex and calling all the shots, making all the decisions in your relationship and apparently out of it because he sees you as a mug. Get some self respect and tell him there is nothing to talk about it’s over. Anyone needing space to decide how they feel about someone is not fully convinced or committed or they think they can do better.

Of course there is something going on between them - they've gone on holiday together! Your ex is keeping you on the backburner in case this doesn't work out (read: the sex isn't good with her) so he can either pick you up where he left off, or flick you away.

You are worth so much more than this shit, honestly.

Oh come on now, he is quite obviously shagging this woman. He wants to talk when he gets back because he wants to tell you he has a new girlfriend. Please move on.

You've called him an ex. Keep it that way!

I should have said, he does have plenty of friends that are girls. Massive friendship group but I think you're all correct.

I'll not block him but if he does reach out, I will ignore

Yeah of course you'll ignore lol.

What's your reason for not blocking him then?

Can I ask how old you are OP? If you’re still on an age where you want to marry and have kids, don’t waste your time on this loser.

Dont waste time on him anyway, no matter your age but if you are as described above, then definitely don’t! You don’t want to look back further down the line and regret wasting some of the best years of your life on this guy.

You already know you’re going to take him back.

When a bloke can’t decide what he wants, I’ve always made the decision for him.

If he’s not all in then he’s out. He’s just not that into you.

Well since you've got space too, use it to decide what you want to do, so that if he comes back wanting to resume the relationship you'll know what to tell him.
Have a think about whether you want to be in a relationship where the other person feels the need to get away from you rather than want to be with you to work through the problems.
Ask yourself whether you'll be able to get past the fact he went away with another woman, and even if he claims it was nothing that will feel ok. Ask yourself if you're prepared for a future where now he's enjoyed a little freedom knowing he can come back, it might become a habit.
You're only a mug if you allow yourself to be a passenger in your life based on his whims. Take control and do what's right for you.

Ffs the stuff I read on here 😩 why do so many woman put up with this from men?

FFS find some self respect and bin him off. You can do better.