To think Santa presents are parents domain?

[Mkinuhhhu]

Thinking about this for next year!

We put a lot of effort into Christmas this year for 4, nearly 5 years old DS who was really into it for the first time.writing and posting letters to the north pole, grotto visit, wrapping the requested present in separate wrapping paper and getting a label printed so it looked different to his other ones, getting a magic key, watching Santa tracker etc. Maybe it's just the standard stuff but it was nice seeing him begin to 'believe'.

We also said father Christmas only brings one present as there isn't space for multiple ones for everyone.

On Christmas Day he was delighted. Then we went to grandparents on boxing day and they said Santa forgot all your presents here and directed him to a pile of presents! The labels said love from Grandma and grandad 😬 they were also nothing to do with the hot wheels/ monster truck stuff he had requested. He looked very confused and a bit taken aback, and didn't really react to the presents when opening them. Eventually he just cracked on with the day and playing with family and new toys etc. I asked him to thank his grandparents for all the presents they had bought and I think he got the idea that they were pretending about santa having forgot them.

I didn't want to be a misery at the time as grandparents probably didn't think it through, but would I be unreasonable to ask that next year grandparents just say the presents are from them and say Santa just comes to our house? I just think there's precious few years where kids really believe and I don't want him questioning it so soon!

I also personally prefer that he ask for and receive one present from both a sustainability point of view, and that he doesn't get loads whilst some friends get very little, but that don't really my main reasoning.

If you don't want santa going to their house just say to them, everyone does "Santa" different, his grandparents are just trying to keep it magical and fun for him, but i think you all need to be in agreement.
Santa came to both of my dc grandparents house we personally didn't thing it was a huge deal.

You are over thinking it, I doubt he was that stumped, he’s 4. If he questions you next year just say that grandma and grandad were excited and pretended. Just like you’d tell him shopping centre santas aren’t real santas etc. He will make up his own mind about stuff, he might think it’s odd santa drops off all his friends presents but only one of his… there are differences everywhere.

There are so many ways of "doing santa" that really you need to give a heads up to family members if it matters to you.

In our house, santa brings the stocking and 1 tree present. Everything else is from the gifter (and they go under the tree as we receive them).

We told our families this for DDs first christmas so everyone knew the method. If DDs had cousins we'd agree a method but as ours are the only children everyone just goes with us.

It’s fine to agree with grandparents which Father Christmas story you all tell DS about as a united front. If you hadn’t done so last year then it does just sound as though they have a different approach and didn’t realise you do the “one present only” narrative.

But ultimately, if you’re already having him believe that FC travels the entire world in one night on a sleigh pulled by magical flying reindeer to deliver presents, I don’t think saying that FC leaves a present at both his house and his grandparents’ house so that his grandparents also get a surprise and the excitement of FC visiting them is going to be the glitch that creates the disbelief. That’s more likely going to come from his peers, whose families will have their own traditions where FC brings all of their presents, or doesn’t come at all, or noticing the discrepancy between his present from Father Christmas and the much lower value one friends from less well off families get.

Relax , everyone does it slightly differently

In some families, all Xmas presents are from Santa.
Chill out about it. Just let your little one enjoy the fun.

i think this is a really easy one for you too OP.

tell the grandparents that you’ve told DS that Santa only brings one present and that is left at your house (or wherever he is if you stay away on Xmas Eve).

All other presents come from you or whoever bought them so that he understands from a young age that he should be thanking and appreciative to the right people.

I think “Santa forgot your presents here” is a bit of a problem actually as it implies that whatever was at your house is NOT from Santa! Although I doubt a 4 year old would get that.

I agree with pp that if you’re going to be so specific in what you tell DS about Santa then you should tell the GPs. Otherwise they’re bound to put their foot in it. Also it’s nice to share the Santa magic with them if you can.

In our house stockings are from Santa and everything else is labelled.

I think you're overthinking this. He was probably a bit overwhelmed and gutted that he didn't get more monster trucks. Just close to Christmas next year tell them how you run it and say so please make sure you take credit for what you get him. No need to mention this year at all.

Chill …you overthink it big time…..it’s January 10th…….pretty sad you thinking about next Christmas though ….life will pass you by

If it matters to you, explain it to them! But also don't OVER explain it to your son in advance. Leave some room for his imagination and asking questions. He won't be anxious or confused about it if you are roughly on the same page.

they said Santa forgot all your presents here and directed him to a pile of presents! The labels said love from Grandma and grandad
The whole Santa delivers stuff from other people is weird to me but I know lots of people do it. This is just another version of that. It doesn't matter in the least. Just shrug it off and don't worry.

You can make it a whole big thing and confuse your son more or just not.

Share with them your reasoning for only one Santa present. To throw them a bone maybe they can come see Santa with you next year? And you can send them photos of the present before it gets wrapped? They might just like to be included in the magic.

I wouldn’t worry, everyone has their own traditions. I’ve never heard of a magic key before!
Santa brings some my children’s cousins a stocking full of stickers, pants, socks etc, another cousin has presents left at Nanna’s because she’s terrified of Santa coming to her house, mine have a big pile of presents left in a sack downstairs all from Father Christmas.
They all have enjoyable, magical Christmases.

I’m sorry but good grief, I’ve heard it all now. It’s two weeks ago and you’re still stewing over grandparents buying a gift that wasn’t on list and for saying Santa delivered elsewhere. If it’s all your child has spoken about since Christmas fair enough but I doubt that’s the case. Next year tell the grandparents to donate to a toy bank rather than buy anything just so your child isn’t confused. Or get over it, I don’t think your child will be scarred by this.

My daughter figured out that Father Christmas wasn’t real aged four (because it was hallowe’en and because she was scared I explained that monsters and witches etc. weren’t real and she said that FC is also just a story). By the age of 5 she had forgotten that she had figured it out and that Christmas she believed again. This christmas (aged 8) she has had multiple children in her class tell her that FC isn’t real and over the years we’ve had many many slip ups by family. They don’t figure it out until they are ready. You don’t have to be so regimented about the story and this will make Christmas easier for you.

My mil used to do this and it drove me mad!

santa is for parents.

when she mentioned Santa leaving presents at her house for them , I just told them that Santa only leaves presents at their own home and granny is being silly. She soon stopped,

There are so many ways of "doing santa" that really you need to give a heads up to family members if it matters to you.

That. Grandparents aren't mind readers.
When our children were small, my DH and I decided how we were going to approach the Santa thing, and then let the grandparents know. Now I'm a grandparent, so I asked my DD what their approach was going to be, but she'd been about to talk to me about it anyway!

We did similar to you. The big present was from Santa, as was the stocking. All the other presents (including ones from us) were from the givers. We wanted our children to feel the warmth and love that came from their family members in the form of those gifts, and to be able to show their appreciation for them as they got a bit older.

How tediously antagonistic and territorial

My (lovely) in laws did this too and it annoyed me. They had their santa years and it was confusing for the kids. They were just excited but we explained gently that Santa brings gifts to our home and everything else is from them. They understood

I would have said, “No Mum, remember those presents are from you and dad” That way there’s no confusion for your son, plus they’ll get a thank you from your son. And remind her next year 🙂
I remember giving my nephew his present and his mum saying “No, Auntie , Father Christmas brings presents” 🙄🙄

I did it that Santa delivered all the gifts from everyone if he behaved. We wrapped and the elves picked them up. Santa delivered them all then to all houses. So much easier

I used to argue with my father over this. Father Christmas comes to the child’s house and the child’s house only.

My father tried to tell my son days before Christmas that Father Christmas was out delivering and he’d seen him go by, then he had it that presents had been dropped to their house (even if we weren’t visiting).

it ended up with us saying grandpa was sily Father Christmas didn’t have time to deliver to multiple houses for one child.

what annoyed me, was I was doing Christmas as he’d done for me and he couldn’t respect that 🤷‍♀️

Tell them how you want Christmas to be, maybe find a way for them to be part of it

This is one of the most sensible things I’ve ever read on here!

They don’t figure it out until they are ready!!

No-one spoils it for them, when they know they know!

Of course you wouldn’t be miserable. They had their day playing Santa.