Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Definitely out of order! My daughter is sometimes the last one on a Friday too and she loves having her pick of all the toys.

the staff were being unreasonable getting her in her hat and coat - it’s the waiting like that which would make her feel like the last kid left. If they were letting her keep playing and giving her lots of attention she would have been absolutely fine :)

I'm not keen on their cut and run attitude,
If you've paid till 6.30 that's what you should get; hate to say this but what are they actually like when it's just the children and themselves?
With no parents present.
I'd speak to management, they know parents need their services and feel they have the upper hand which they're flexing now
A good carer would care not begrudge

Yes, I would too - maybe your daughter will be happy in lots of settings, some children are like that. If I were you, I would move and don't be told what days to take.

FGS people. The OP didn't ask if the nursery/hours is right for her dd, she asked if the nursery staff were being cheeky, which they were. It doesn't matter if they want a swift pick-up, they are paid to be there until 6.30 and that's that.

Bog off and stop being judgmental.

I would be having a conversation with the manager.
Why wasn't someone sitting with your daughter reading a book or doing an activity?. Not sitting by the door or looking out of the window for you.
By all means have her hat, coat bag etc ready but not on her and you should have a relaxed handover.
Ofsted would be interested in your input.

As an ex-childcare worker I used to get frustrated when parents were late in picking their children up especially on Fridays as some staff had far to travel etc, but the staff in your child's nursery are being unreasonable about this as you were well within the time frame to pick up your daughter. Is complain about this to someone higher up. As staff we wouldn't put on our jackets etc until last child had gone.

Yanu used to work in a nursery would never ever say this to a parent definitely say something to the manager you pay until 6:30 they cannot make you pick up earlier just because the other parents have. Also they should be interacting with the child up until the last minute not all sitting there waiting to go home. This is unacceptable!

That's not the point here.

You paid until 6.30, they are contractually obliged to pay for her until then !! Taking the piss next time turn up at 6.30!

then I would go to the manager from this angle. Go in saying 'I want to swap to Thursday as I originally intended.' If they query it say 'Because I don't want your staff guilt tripping me and my daughter like they did last week.' Either switch to thurs or make clear that if THEY want you to have friday then you will be picking her up at 6.29 and you don't want them all sitting there with coats on glaring at you for doing what they are being paid to do.

It's so petty, how long does it take to put a coat on, ffs! They were just trying to make a point. There is absolutely no reason why one of them couldn't keep playing with her while others tidied up and got ready to close down so they could leave once you arrived.

It was the manager who made the comments to the OP not her staff.

they should let your kid do colouring or play dough until you arrive, not put his coat on and make him anxious til mum arrives! Imagine if you put your coat on and told your paying customer that you wanted to go home early as it was Saturday 😅

There is indeed 😂

This thread is bizarre. Someone has to be the last child there. Why does it matter? She might even be happy being there alone if the staff were sat with her one on one giving her undivided attention. Shes only little. Being the last doesn’t need to be a bad thing unless the staff make the feel unwelcome or like her mum is late when she’s not.

If it makes you feel better about these comments OP, we had one SAHP for the first three years so no paid childcare at all, and people constantly made comments about how DS wasn’t going to be socialised enough (even though we did daily groups, stay and plays etc). Endless comments about how he will be too clingy, not independent etc.

Once he turned 3 we put him in childcare for his free 15 hours and within the first week people were asking when the SAHP would get a job and insisting we should both be working full time unless we wanted DS to be unable to cope with school.

Its actually quite amusing to read a thread full of comments complaining about the opposite - I feel like there’s no winning.

You are doing a great job OP and you’re not being unreasonable at all. I’d be very pissed off about the calls as if I saw that 11 minutes before pick up I would assume something was very wrong.

Maybe it’s that I’ve never had a “leave early on Friday” kind of job but I’m truly baffled by the people who think it’s unfair of you to use the hours you already paid for because it’s a Friday as if obviously you should give away free money to staff if the day they forced you to choose is Friday.

It's a nice bonus for them if all the kids get collected early on a Friday and they can leave early... but they shouldn't expect it, nor make you feel guilty for arriving 10 mins before closing time.

Bet they're regretting encouraging you to use the Friday now... see if you can switch to another day that would be better for you.

And to the clowns saying OU degrees aren't worth it, mine has never been received anything other than positively by employers (also an OU English degree). It's seen as a mark of motivation to fit a degree in around work and the general demands of adult life. Good for you, OP, and wish you the best of luck with it.

Hi op you should not feel any guilt for trying to improve your future. Nurseries need the kids to attend to earn a wage. I would send an email asking if you can clarify Friday closing time as you need until 6.30 due to your studying and when you seen you had 2 missed calls so close together you thought something was wrong with dc. Mention you felt guilty for leaving her there because the staff couldn’t wait to get rid of her due to no other kids being around. If all kids had left by 1 are you expected to get there early to take dc home? Also mention you appreciate everyone likes to leave work earlier on Friday but staff sh not to expect if there is a child still in there care it should be acceptable that they cannot leave until dc is picked up and you don’t need non emergency calls scaring you. Good luck ignore the haters not everyone if fortunate to not need childcare.

I think the OP is asking for advice on the pick up time situation…not opinions on how many hours she’s putting her daughter in for childcare.

OP, I’m sorry they were so rude to you. I would definitely send an email, keep everything in writing, as I’m not sure that they are legally allowed to do that when you are paid up to 6.30.

And for all the other mums who have been quite judgy with their comments - shame on you.

This poor mum is trying to juggle work, university, a young child and manage childcare routines to better her life for her family. Should she just sit at home all day and claim off the state? That would be wrong in your eyes too. Whatever people do is wrong these days, it absolutely will not harm her daughter being in childcare for long days, it’s only twice a week - gives mum chance to get everything done for uni and work etc, her daughter will likely thrive in a social setting ready for when she starts school. Stop fucking picking at people.

in response to your question - yanb you have a nursery place until 6.39 and presumably the staff are paid until 6.30
si why shouldn’t they work until then regardless if the day of the week. No problem with all tidying up
dine etc but surely none member of staff could have read to or done drawing with your dad.
secondly S for those questioning your need to put daughter in child care for that duration of day, take no notice - you do you and well done for working and studying so hard to build a better more secure future for you and your child. Presume you are doing this alone (if not then that’s a whole other post) so well done and good luck to you xx

None of this matters. Shes paid for X amount of hours and her daughter should be cared for those hours - they should not be making her feel guilty. If they want to go home early they need to change their hours and charge less.

please don’t judge a mum doing her best to study and work.

And @CheekyTealFawnit’s definitely out of order. Please speak to the manager. My kids were sometimes the last - it’s just how it was with work and traffic.

Probably by about 5 or 10 minutes.

Also not all staff meed to still be there. That's the nursery's choice.

@CheekyTealFawn you are entitled to use the service for the hours you have paid for.

As a nursery manager I would definitely put in an official complaint. I would still expect my staff to be playing with her and would not be impressed with coats on! She could have been sat like that for half hour! It is really nice just having one at the end of the day as they get loads of attention and have some fun. We dance to music etc check your contract

It's not your fault she was the last one- trying to make you think your daughter is upset is very manipulative- if pick up is until 6.30, 6.20 is fine.
As others have said though 11 hours is a long day in childcare for any child , especially one under 3.

This thread is an excellent example of how toxic this platform is. Those in charge should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for allowing this bizarre pile-on to this young mum about her childcare. Totally unacceptable. One b is one too many. Other posters are doing a better job of policing it than the platform hosts. Good grief, when I was Head of Faculty in a High School many moons ago, my 5 month old baby had to have 60 hours of childcare per week. She recently graduated with a 2:1 and is living a lovely life. OP, I take my hat off to you for all your commitments and juggling. Well done. Definitely complain to the nursery owners. Maybe mention their funding claim and ask for clarification of exactly when the taxpayer funded hours are, as a "subtle" reminder, and ask what level of learning through play was occuring when they had her sat by the window in her coat. Good luck with your education.

Its quite unusual for very little ones to be left at nursery till 6.30pm, and its crap for the child being left there as the last one to be collected week in week out, 30-60mins after all the others.

In my experience nurseries offer long days (e.g. 7.30 - 6 30) as a bit of a funding swizz. They don't actually expect many parents to use that and know most won't, because its logistically really difficult to have a very young child in nursery for an 11 hour day, it doesn't leave enough time to dress/bathe/feed etc and ensure they get enough sleep. But it means the nursery can have a model where they can require you to use your funded hours against a much longer session with a high rate for those extra hours, which cross subsidises government funded hours.