DD babysitting for family who are never on time

[alwayschill]

DD17 is currently working at a nursery and also does some babysitting on the side to make a little extra cash. She doesn’t drive right now but plans to start lessons soon. Most of her clients are local, so she takes the bus, but I’ll pick her up if it’s late. Recently, she started babysitting for a family that lives in a rural area with not much public transport. I’ve been taking her there and picking her up every time, which is fine by me (they pay pretty well). The only issue is they’re always later than they say they will be. One parent works at the hospital and the other at a pub, so even though they give DD a time, their shifts usually run over. There have been a few times now that I’ve waited for half an hour because they were late, and obviously, DD can’t just leave the kids. DD suggested she could ask them to text her before leaving work to save me from waiting around, but that’s not ideal as it means I’d be hanging around all evening waiting for a message. I don’t mind picking her up if I know the time in advance so I can plan my evening accordingly.

AIBU to tell DD that if they can’t get back on time, they’ll need to find someone else? I feel a bit guilty because they usually give her a few shifts each week and it’s extra money for her, but it’s starting to become a hassle!

If they are due back late can they pay for a cab or drop her home?

The logical solution is that if they return later than specified they pay for her taxi to go home.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I was always running my dds around as we live rurally but I wouldn’t want to be waiting around in a situation like this, especially in the winter.

The people are better off finding someone who has a car.

Taxis are quite rare in the countryside.

Could discuss this with them with the view it’s agreed the finish time is 30 minutes later with 30 extra pay each session and if they are early then dd waits for you at their house?

Unless she needs the money I’d drop them - it’s disrespectful of her time regardless of anything else.

I think you might have to accept this happens and for her to decline shifts. It would be a shame though IMO.

Plan to pick her up half an hour later than agreed? Then they will have to put up with the hanging around on her part if they get back on time for once.

Do the parents know it's a problem for her? If they did, and there are no taxis, then maybe they could come up with a solution?

You won't be waiting round all evening for the text? Say they finish the shift at 11pm, and expect to be home at 11.30pm, you'll be waiting for the text from about 11.
Waiting for a text for half an hour at home is better than waiting around for half an hour for them to come at their place/in the car isn't it?

Are they paying her more for being late?

Think they need to be made aware their lateness is a problem. If they are going to be late then they need to let her know in advance. If they continue and its not suitable for you then she'll need another family to babysit for.

I think you’re being unreasonable. They’re paying for a service and the transport home is on her. As a parent it’s rare we get a babysitter and while I always give a rough idea of when we’ll be home and check in when we’re running late, the flexibility is important. It wouldn’t feel like a treat otherwise.

i think that until your daughter learns to drive, they should text her when they’re leaving so she can message you. It’s annoying for you but I think it’s unreadable to demand they are on time if they’re paying for a service.

If she’s due to finish at 11 but it’s 11.30 you aren’t waiting around all evening, just 30 minutes. I think to help her out whilst she makes learning to drive a priority (make sure she sits the theory straight away when she gets her provisional and puts in for a test because they are taking 6 months) is a good thing

Shifts dont over-run in pubs, tgey are having g a quick dri k after work.
She needs to say "mum is picking me up so please be on time as she's said she is not prepared to wait"

I think she needs to ask them to drop her home once they are done as she doesn’t have any other form of transport.

Some people are selfish enough to not realise how inconsiderate they are being. As a PP said, pub shifts don’t overrun.

Can your DD not cycle there?

Can they drop her off near a bus stop?

Do they pay her for the extra time?
Could you assume an extra half hour every time, include that in pay and she stays til then?
As the parents are working, I'm more sympathetic with them than if they were on an evening out.

Whenever I used a teenage babysitter, I would always take them home. I didn't expect their parents to collect them. Yes, they're providing a "service", but I view it as my responsibility to get that young person home safely.

That means you can’t have a drink, which doesn’t bother me (I don’t drink) but would mean for a lot of people their night out would be a bit restricted.

They pay for a cab home

They aren’t jobs that have a definite finish time so it’s to be expected, it wouldn’t be an issue for me as I was a swim mum so early mornings late nights were the normal and hanging around pools for hours.

Surely this would make having a babysitter for most people prohibitively expensive?

But the parents are working and presumably drive themselves home or else surely the OP would have said her DD could just get the bus or taxi back once they return.

A shift in a pub has a very definite finish time.

Yes, but it kind of adds to the stress, doesn’t it? I know it sounds harsh but the babysitter isn’t doing you a massive favour; it’s a paid for service. Obviously people sometimes choose to go out of their way to be considerate but I wouldn’t say it should exactly be expected.