To Think I Live A Completely Different Life

[xSnowFairyx]

……to most other Mumsnetters?

Recent threads and comments, as well as ‘cliche’ MN things make me feel like I’m living in a parallel universe.

A lady on here was shaken and terrified when her OWN HUSBAND rang their doorbell last night at 11pm because he’d forgotten his keys. She thought it was as a serial killer. Then so many other MN’ers refuse to answer their door. They think ringing a bell is rude. They are always “shaken” by an unexpected visitor or knock at the door. Or think their neighbours are up to something but are too terrified and shaken to have a grown up conversation with them about: parking, driveways, boundaries etc.

Another lady was demanding a GP appointment because she’d tripped over (or had some accident) and her big toe was hurty/bruised. She didn’t want to go to Minor Injuries. Then all the other “should I go to A&E threads”. It’s just madness. Why is there no common sense? Why do people ask anonymous strangers on the internet without consulting a GP, pharmacist, 111 or bloody NHS .uk first?

Why is everything too “outing”? We have a population of around 70 million people. Don’t get me started on the outing hobbies or activities. Especially the husbands.

What’s the deal with “hosting”? When my friends or family come round, it’s just them coming round. I am not a “host” I am a human being enjoying the company of my loved ones in my home.

So many recent benefits bashing threads. A recent person on here was asking if they and their family should report another family member for fraud as they received PIP but could “walk miles”. Complete lack of common sense and human decency.

And so many MIL and SIL bashing threads. I genuinely have not met one single person in real life who doesn’t get on with their partners family.
And, the amount of people who don’t class In-laws as family. Of course your husband/wife’s family is now part of your family! Also same for step children.

It honestly feels like a parallel universe. But as we say in Yorkshire, nowt as funny as folk.

This site sets the tone for OTT reactions and clutching pearls drama. It brings it out in people and they probably don’t behave that way. So many people are rude or mean or bitchy in here and it makes me worry that’s what people are really like but that’s too depressing a thought. So I like to believe this is an imaginary outlet and way to express pent up frustration for a lot of people and not what they’re really like in their day to day lives.

Yorkshire, you say?

My current favourites are the screeches of "Bot! Russian Bot!!!" at everything. It is pretty funny.

Absolutely agree. All the MIL threads! Do they know they are going to be MILs themselves? The not answering the door, just bonkers. The obsessive hygiene. The affront at being asked to do a small favour for a neighbour or friend.

My husband’s ILs are bloody awful. I don’t know how he puts up with them.

oh wait, those are my parents. Yep, that is accurate.

🍿

The threads that always leave me in awe are the ones where women will describe a painstakingly obvious case of husband / partner infidelity but ask whether they are 'overreacting'.

e.g, "My husband spends the weekends with his 20-something secretary and I've seen pictures of her straddling him on his phone, but he says there's nothing going on. Am I reading too much into this?"

You just want to shake these women.

The worst is when people on here are asking strangers if they think they should have another baby or not. Bloody hell

OP - my dad and my step mum (who I love dearly) turned up unannounced last week. I answered the door. Probably should be banned from MN.....

Somebody earlier wrote a hand-wringing essay agonising over how much to charge their adult DC for board and how to approach the devastatingly complex issue of the adult DC’s live-in boyfriend washing his own socks.

Truly, these are the sort of dilemmas that keep philosophers awake at night. Do you charge £50? £100? Should it be index-linked? Means-tested? Accompanied by a written apology for daring to suggest that adulthood might involve financial contribution or basic hygiene? And the socks — oh, the socks. Asking a grown man to operate a washing machine is clearly an act of emotional violence. He might never recover.

Meanwhile, in the real world, people are juggling real actual problems, not made up ones.

This was a middle aged adult, at least 40+ years on the planet, sitting down to type that nonsense into the internet. How do they manage to brush their teeth without advice? Or blink unaided?

What a mocking and unpleasant post. This is basically a thread about threads and not allowed. It’s an open forum, nobody is forcing any of you to be here. Go and read something more philosophical if that makes you happy.

Don’t forget the regular threads from posters who like to shit all over Mumsnet to make themselves feel like they better than everyone else - they are so annoying!

I love MN and l have posted before and received lots of helpful replies . But it’s also good to remind me how undramatic l am !

I’m with you @xSnowFairyx. The world has gone mad!

Its the outing ones that get me the most! Especially when they name change too, like who are you love? A major celebrity? Or the only single person in the world to do a very mundane activity? Although being MN, it would be a hobby group.

You clearly deserve a chufty badge for doing life better OP.

But it's a shame that all you've done on your one and only post is bitch about random other people.

Exactly this.

Plus, you’re grouping all those people together as if each poster who does one unreasonable / unconventional thing is likely to approve of each of those other unrelated things that other posters did, when in reality the doorbell poster may well think the A&E posters are unreasonable, and so on. If you view it as each person doing one unreasonable thing, then on the basis that we all mess up sometimes, it does make MN users as a cohort seem more like a typical mixed bag of real people.

You also say that you haven’t met a single person IRL who doesn’t get on with their in-laws, but people are far more likely to pour their heart about their (potentially unreasonable and/or seemingly petty) family disputes on an anonymous forum as opposed to sharing it with someone they know.

You forgot some other classics:

"I don't drive" (often combined with "I live rurally with no public transport")
"I have Autism/ADHD"
"I am perimenopausal/menopausal" (often combined with "associated anxiety".

I live in your world by the sounds of things. I too don't understand why some of the posters come to complete strangers with problems or queries common sense could answer very easily. How do we know whether you should go NC with Great Aunt Aggie coz she refused to return the god awful VERY expensive sweater to some over priced, online boutique that I've never even heard of or if FIL really shouldn't pass wind in front of DC? A lot of these first world problems that some require advice on are braggy, outlandish issues us normal Joe Bloggs would never experience & seem to be answered by other showy, money people. I do find the more down to earth posts interesting & relatable & I'm happy to answer truthfully.

you can say that again. (Actually, I did once ask for advice here, re NI contributions. I'd even been to the CAB to ask for help, no-one anywhere knew the answer. Posted on MN, got advice, job done).

I agree with you up untill a certain extent untill you bought up in-laws. To my absolute heartache I married a man with a very very complex family, lots of inheritance issues, jeloysy, plenty of lies. I cane into their lives with nothing but love and excitement to be extending my family, i looked forward to a goid relationship with my MIL after loosing my own mother. But, unfortunately I was viewd as just another person to be jealous of, another outsider, another threat to their precious inheritance. I am glad you dont know the heartache that not getting along with your in-laws can bring, and please font undermine how valuable sharing your experiences on mumsnet and receiving support from people in similar situations can be.

I also find the AIBU part of mumsnet to be very unpleasant at times, its not the best place to recieve helpful support.

No, you sound like you live a normal life, just like me. I too am dumbfounded by people who think ringing the doorbell is rude (please ring it so I can let you in!), those who think unexpected visitors are out of order, those who consider family round as 'hosting' (it's having family round ditto friends) etc. They are all mad as far as I can see.

My former in-laws snubbed my ex at his brother's funeral, which I think pretty off. But they all treated me very well when I was part of the family (apart from some casual racism which some on MN would not admit to be racism...).