To Think I Live A Completely Different Life

[xSnowFairyx]

……to most other Mumsnetters?

Recent threads and comments, as well as ‘cliche’ MN things make me feel like I’m living in a parallel universe.

A lady on here was shaken and terrified when her OWN HUSBAND rang their doorbell last night at 11pm because he’d forgotten his keys. She thought it was as a serial killer. Then so many other MN’ers refuse to answer their door. They think ringing a bell is rude. They are always “shaken” by an unexpected visitor or knock at the door. Or think their neighbours are up to something but are too terrified and shaken to have a grown up conversation with them about: parking, driveways, boundaries etc.

Another lady was demanding a GP appointment because she’d tripped over (or had some accident) and her big toe was hurty/bruised. She didn’t want to go to Minor Injuries. Then all the other “should I go to A&E threads”. It’s just madness. Why is there no common sense? Why do people ask anonymous strangers on the internet without consulting a GP, pharmacist, 111 or bloody NHS .uk first?

Why is everything too “outing”? We have a population of around 70 million people. Don’t get me started on the outing hobbies or activities. Especially the husbands.

What’s the deal with “hosting”? When my friends or family come round, it’s just them coming round. I am not a “host” I am a human being enjoying the company of my loved ones in my home.

So many recent benefits bashing threads. A recent person on here was asking if they and their family should report another family member for fraud as they received PIP but could “walk miles”. Complete lack of common sense and human decency.

And so many MIL and SIL bashing threads. I genuinely have not met one single person in real life who doesn’t get on with their partners family.
And, the amount of people who don’t class In-laws as family. Of course your husband/wife’s family is now part of your family! Also same for step children.

It honestly feels like a parallel universe. But as we say in Yorkshire, nowt as funny as folk.

I often wonder how many of these threads are real because like you, OP, I often read them thinking that I’ve dropped into a parallel universe. The other thing which repeatedly astounds me is the absolute nonsense that people put up with from their significant others. Sometimes fairly benign - antipathy towards hygiene or household cleanliness etc, but sometimes really serious abuse which they don’t seem to recognise. It’s bananas and can be deeply disturbing at times!

Yeah I have been very eye roll-ey lately, the big toe one especially.

I answered my door about an hour ago to a neighbour I have seen but dont know, who knocked because my light was on and their car was stuck. Didnt manage to unstick it but now we know each other and its a nice thing! They said that they had only just moved to the area and it was nice to know that they had nice neighbours! The wife and I had quite a laugh despite getting wet and cold and achieving the square root of fuck all!

I dont get the angst!

The not recognisng abuse ones I do get, because often it comes out that they have been conditioned to normalise abuse through previous relationships. I have been through it, so "its not as bad as...." to them (us) means that it isnt abusive. So maybe you could be a bit more kind about that.

This 👆I am just entertained 😂

I read Mumsnet far too much, to the chagrin of my DH. I always say "I've just read a thread..." and he always interjects with "not on bloody Mumsnet again!" 😒😆

Or perhaps poverty is everywhere and you could do with learning a lesson in empathy.

I am poor. I havent always been but I am now. Why? Divorce, illness and becoming a carer for my parents so living on what little I can earn alongside Carers Allowance. £150 a month "spends" would be a huge amount for me.

Your privilege is showing.

It’s the internet dear all of human life is here

Don’t forget the men bashing threads!

The amount of women on here who seem terrified of their own shadow baffles me. Being scared to be home alone without their partners, unable to walk down a street or in a car park after dark, refusing to get into a taxi alone. How can you have children and be so incapable of functioning by yourself?

^This but I don’t think OP agrees, OP is superior 😆

@seaelephant I do know people like that in real life- all childless. It greatly impacts their lives.

I'm sorry; you're a fake Yorkshire person. Real Yorkshire people say "Nowt so queer as folk."

Actually you sound like a fairly typical Mumsnetter: moan, moan, moan...
😆😂😆

Yes I wonder this, and when they take the children to play dates, school, birthday parties, meet another woman, going to the supermarket, use social media, eat in restaurants there is the constant 'everyone is judging me'

I think they live too long in their own heads at times

It’s not the amount, it’s the stating, with absolute conviction, that’s it’s “plenty”. Maybe in 2006, but not now. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It’s usually said on threads about budgeting/finances where a poster dare spend her money on herself.

Meh, it is a good read when I am fucking around with nothing much else to do.

I also enjoy an argument and Mumsnetters are for the most part prickly lefties who think everybody should agree with them and are always spoiling for a fight at the slightest hint of middle ground.

Some people are utterly batshit. That isn't limited to Mumsnet. The internet has meant that everybody's crazy is wide open for all to see.

That is both a good, and a bad thing.

This exactly

Tbh I would be shaken by my door bell ringing late at night and if alone I definitely would not answer it, during the day i do but unless its a friend, neighbour or the postman i tell then to come back when my husband is home. As a small, disabled women it would not take much to overpower me and enter my home uninvited, my husband is very safety conscious and has advised this behaviour.
However I do believe there are some crazies on here and what gets me is the amount of women shouting 'divorce' for the slightest little thing. It does show me how fantastic my husband is.

It is all very dramatic but that's why we love it

There's a thread at the moment about a woman hair washing (or not?) before she goes for a weekend away, it's just so funny. Whether it's a troll or not I don't know, but I don't care cos it's hilarious

Good post !!....but she is right about the 'hosting'. I mean hosting is such a bloody pompous concept. Ugh!!

Out is a good way to go.

I mean, I’m not saying you’re wrong about everything you said OP, but it just sounds as if you don’t appreciate that we’ve not all led the same life.

Just taking your point about a knock on the door, there are plenty of reasons why it might be alarming. Maybe the person lives in a dodgy area, maybe they’ve been attacked/assaulted in the past, maybe they’re neurodivergent and don’t like unexpected things. Maybe they’ve got a dodgy ex who they worry will turn up. Maybe they’ve got a vile family member. Maybe their neighbour is a giant arsewipe. Maybe they just struggle with anxiety. Maybe they’ve had debt problems in the past and a knock on the door means the bailiffs are there - let me tell you now, no matter how much your finances improve, you never quite manage to shake off that instant sick feeling in the pit of your stomach!

So many things that don’t seem to have registered with you. And that’s just taking one tiny element of your post. I could say the same about many of your other gripes.

If you’re able to stride confidently through life, surrounded by a kind and loving family, and never plagued by any shred of self-doubt, then you truly have a charmed life. Good for you. Genuinely. If only everyone were that blessed.

One thing I’ve noticed - that seems to have gotten worse in recent years - is people sneering at others who are not like them.

“There but for the grace of god go I” is a useful notion. It only takes a couple of poor decisions or a hefty dose of bad luck and life can look very different.

Scoffing at others for not having the same knowledge, confidence, peace, or happiness as you is a bit shitty, imo.

I know there are some slightly nutty posts sometimes but I’ve seen MN rally around women who are in desperate need of support, advice, or sometimes just friendship. And that’s why I keep coming back, and why I appreciate this site.

I'm one of the doorbell, just pop in haters. But it's because I'm a skanky fucker with a scruffy house and that doesn't fit with the MN hygiene conscious, visitor ready household narrative either! In fact I've got worse since I've been on MN as lots of things I do seem to not be normal (but nearly everyone I know does them).
I also have fairy lights and twiggy shit, get on with my in-laws and have an open fire.

I don't answer my door because it's usually debt collectors or sales people. I also don't like people popping round unexpectedly, but anyone who knows me knows that, so will always give a heads up.

My hobby used to be really outing but I've heard that you can't move for cross stitchers on unicycles these days.

I agree OP I've never seen anything like it before i starting using mumsnet.

My take is that from what i have seen, the vast majority of mumsnetters live in and around London, and are generally very well off with 'naice' lives etc.
These people i think struggle to deal with life's unpleasantries, I had a friend from a very well to do background who moved to London, she had a complete and utter meltdown because her boiler stopped working, it was as if someone had died! She just had no idea how to deal with it.
People like this can afford to chuck money at most of life's problems so when something happens out of their control the pearl clutching and hand wringing starts.
There just isn't the resilience and resourcefulness that comes with having to struggle a bit in life, have to budget etc.
But yes some of the things i read on here i just can't believe are a thing to get worked up about its insane!

I disagree with “Should I go to A&E” is a sensible thing to ask on MN. It’s not sensible. Any adult with capacity should be able to search NHS .uk or phone 111 for appropriate signposting, or go to a pharmacy/Minor Injuries unit. (Granted 111 do send a hell of a lot of people to A&E because of the pressures on and lack of GPs).

NHS England has estimated that up to two-fifths of A&E attendances could be better treated elsewhere.

So clearly many people are not sure where to go and are perfectly entitled to ask on a chat forum if they should go.

Don’t be so superior.