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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Think I Live A Completely Different Life

149 replies

xSnowFairyx · 08/01/2026 22:06

……to most other Mumsnetters?

Recent threads and comments, as well as ‘cliche’ MN things make me feel like I’m living in a parallel universe.

A lady on here was shaken and terrified when her OWN HUSBAND rang their doorbell last night at 11pm because he’d forgotten his keys. She thought it was as a serial killer. Then so many other MN’ers refuse to answer their door. They think ringing a bell is rude. They are always “shaken” by an unexpected visitor or knock at the door. Or think their neighbours are up to something but are too terrified and shaken to have a grown up conversation with them about: parking, driveways, boundaries etc.

Another lady was demanding a GP appointment because she’d tripped over (or had some accident) and her big toe was hurty/bruised. She didn’t want to go to Minor Injuries. Then all the other “should I go to A&E threads”. It’s just madness. Why is there no common sense? Why do people ask anonymous strangers on the internet without consulting a GP, pharmacist, 111 or bloody NHS .uk first?

Why is everything too “outing”? We have a population of around 70 million people. Don’t get me started on the outing hobbies or activities. Especially the husbands.

What’s the deal with “hosting”? When my friends or family come round, it’s just them coming round. I am not a “host” I am a human being enjoying the company of my loved ones in my home.

So many recent benefits bashing threads. A recent person on here was asking if they and their family should report another family member for fraud as they received PIP but could “walk miles”. Complete lack of common sense and human decency.

And so many MIL and SIL bashing threads. I genuinely have not met one single person in real life who doesn’t get on with their partners family.
And, the amount of people who don’t class In-laws as family. Of course your husband/wife’s family is now part of your family! Also same for step children.

It honestly feels like a parallel universe. But as we say in Yorkshire, nowt as funny as folk.

OP posts:
Jugendstiel · 09/01/2026 13:43

I voted YABU because no one demands you read those threads. Come over to the lovely thread about bird song or the S&B threads that help you update your style or the gardening, or the TV show chats. Or the amazing recipe threads. I asked for inspiration for more veggie dinners a few weeks ago and was given some of the most delicious veggie recipes I've ever tasted. Still working through them.

MN is home to the incredibly loving and supportive threads for SEN children, MH issues and Stately Homes threads - all of which have been incredible resources for many people.

Or the heartwarming threads like the one recently where one MNer went out of her way to buy a main Christmas gift for another MNer's autistic child because the item was out of stock everywhere but she'd seen it locally - money and gifts exchanged, all in time for Christmas.

This place is bloody lovely if you choose your threads carefully.

ginasevern · 09/01/2026 13:53

I agree with a lot of your comment OP, but I and quite a few other people I know don't just throw open their door to complete strangers. If I don't know the caller or am not expecting anyone I don't open my front door. My life doesn't involve random strangers visiting me, but I realise it might apply to some people. In my case they're either trying to sell something or pushing a religion - neither of which I want. I don't see the point in standing on a cold doorstep for 15 minutes trying to tell them I'm not interested thus wasting their time and mine. If it was something really obvious (such as workmen digging up the road outside and maybe they need to tell me something) then obviously I do answer, but otherwise why take the risk?

Daygloboo · 09/01/2026 14:12

nomas · 09/01/2026 13:25

So what do you say when you’re discussing who’s hosting Christmas or the next get together?

Well I dont say hosting. I think i might say
' having ' so and so for xmas. And if going somewhere else i say ' we're going to' so and so for xmas. I think hosying aounds lkke a corporate 'do'. To me it just sounds wrong and absolutely pompous.

nomas · 09/01/2026 14:18

Daygloboo · 09/01/2026 14:12

Well I dont say hosting. I think i might say
' having ' so and so for xmas. And if going somewhere else i say ' we're going to' so and so for xmas. I think hosying aounds lkke a corporate 'do'. To me it just sounds wrong and absolutely pompous.

‘I’m having Christmas’ just doesn’t sound right to me.

We are an average extended family and had a bog standard Christmas meal and we were arguing over who does what. There was loads of ‘The host shouldn’t have to do this’ and the ‘host should do that’. It would have been tedious to have to say ‘the person having Christmas should do this’.

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 09/01/2026 14:23

What always gets me is the large number of mumsnetters who have never farted in front of their partner despite being together for 20+ years and sharing a bed. Imagine being so uptight that you’re offended by a fart! Seems super common on here though.

also all those who can make a small salad last for days 😂

AffableBill · 09/01/2026 14:56

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 09/01/2026 14:23

What always gets me is the large number of mumsnetters who have never farted in front of their partner despite being together for 20+ years and sharing a bed. Imagine being so uptight that you’re offended by a fart! Seems super common on here though.

also all those who can make a small salad last for days 😂

People lie on here.
All the time.

Summerunlover · 09/01/2026 15:09

My fave are the I am so shaken some one said the most upsetting things that’s ever been said to me in my whole life. Then it’s some one grumpy that snapped at them in a supermarket aisle. I always think if that’s the worst thing that’s ever been said to you what life have you been leading!

Crikeyalmighty · 09/01/2026 15:14

@xSnowFairyx ha ha - definitely with you on the hosting - in fact I responded on a similar thread about annoying expressions

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 09/01/2026 15:25

AffableBill · 09/01/2026 14:56

People lie on here.
All the time.

I know. I just find it quite amusing that that’s how they choose to present themselves.

Pluto46 · 09/01/2026 15:48

ForFunGoose · 08/01/2026 23:30

I’m beginning to wonder if mumsnet are generating AI posts to bulk the forum.
Some recent replies are far fetched.

I agree and so many threads that are so similar, bar a few details, posted within hours of each other

MorrisZapp · 09/01/2026 15:52

Low and no contact always make me smile. 'we don't see them as much these days' seems so dull by comparison.

Another thing people do a lot is make comments and remarks. I've always just called this 'chatting'.

5128gap · 09/01/2026 16:36

Jugendstiel · 09/01/2026 13:43

I voted YABU because no one demands you read those threads. Come over to the lovely thread about bird song or the S&B threads that help you update your style or the gardening, or the TV show chats. Or the amazing recipe threads. I asked for inspiration for more veggie dinners a few weeks ago and was given some of the most delicious veggie recipes I've ever tasted. Still working through them.

MN is home to the incredibly loving and supportive threads for SEN children, MH issues and Stately Homes threads - all of which have been incredible resources for many people.

Or the heartwarming threads like the one recently where one MNer went out of her way to buy a main Christmas gift for another MNer's autistic child because the item was out of stock everywhere but she'd seen it locally - money and gifts exchanged, all in time for Christmas.

This place is bloody lovely if you choose your threads carefully.

The S&B board is the most terrifying on here! I urge anyone who doesn't have a fat wallet, a thick skin and a wardrobe devoid of anything in a man made fibre to steer well clear.
Everytime I venture on I learn that everything I own has either become 'dated' in the time it took the order to arrive, or that someone's DD17 and her friends say 'no one wears THAT anymore'.
I invariably like the clothes people tell the OP are cheap looking and wonder if someone added a zero to the things they recommend, and slink away, concluding that being stylish and beautiful are destined to have no place in my life.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 09/01/2026 16:46

The door thing is crazy - they'd hate living in my house, we always have people knocking trying to deliver takeaway's that are for one of the other four very similar addresses that are nearby.

On the hobbies - my hobby could possibly identify me if I went into detail about it. But I've posted enough that somebody who knew me well enough could identify me anyway.

Crikeyalmighty · 09/01/2026 17:41

5128gap · 09/01/2026 16:36

The S&B board is the most terrifying on here! I urge anyone who doesn't have a fat wallet, a thick skin and a wardrobe devoid of anything in a man made fibre to steer well clear.
Everytime I venture on I learn that everything I own has either become 'dated' in the time it took the order to arrive, or that someone's DD17 and her friends say 'no one wears THAT anymore'.
I invariably like the clothes people tell the OP are cheap looking and wonder if someone added a zero to the things they recommend, and slink away, concluding that being stylish and beautiful are destined to have no place in my life.

Ha ha - I’m joining you - at 64 and a bit overweight with huge rent and no inheritance yet, my wardrobe consists mainly of Fat Face, white stuff, M&S , Joe Browns and Next - I seem to look presentable enough though and work in a trendy quite youthful industry still - I’ve found good black biker boots style, high quality black leggings and nice skater style dresses cover me off for all but a fancy wedding and my holidays etc -

momahoho1 · 09/01/2026 17:45

Me too!!!! Though I honestly can’t tell you my dc’s job because it is outing, far too few in the country, think one hand! Sometimes we say it for a reason

Daygloboo · 09/01/2026 17:55

nomas · 09/01/2026 14:18

‘I’m having Christmas’ just doesn’t sound right to me.

We are an average extended family and had a bog standard Christmas meal and we were arguing over who does what. There was loads of ‘The host shouldn’t have to do this’ and the ‘host should do that’. It would have been tedious to have to say ‘the person having Christmas should do this’.

😂yes that does sound a bit mad

tommyhoundmum · 09/01/2026 18:06

xSnowFairyx · 08/01/2026 22:06

……to most other Mumsnetters?

Recent threads and comments, as well as ‘cliche’ MN things make me feel like I’m living in a parallel universe.

A lady on here was shaken and terrified when her OWN HUSBAND rang their doorbell last night at 11pm because he’d forgotten his keys. She thought it was as a serial killer. Then so many other MN’ers refuse to answer their door. They think ringing a bell is rude. They are always “shaken” by an unexpected visitor or knock at the door. Or think their neighbours are up to something but are too terrified and shaken to have a grown up conversation with them about: parking, driveways, boundaries etc.

Another lady was demanding a GP appointment because she’d tripped over (or had some accident) and her big toe was hurty/bruised. She didn’t want to go to Minor Injuries. Then all the other “should I go to A&E threads”. It’s just madness. Why is there no common sense? Why do people ask anonymous strangers on the internet without consulting a GP, pharmacist, 111 or bloody NHS .uk first?

Why is everything too “outing”? We have a population of around 70 million people. Don’t get me started on the outing hobbies or activities. Especially the husbands.

What’s the deal with “hosting”? When my friends or family come round, it’s just them coming round. I am not a “host” I am a human being enjoying the company of my loved ones in my home.

So many recent benefits bashing threads. A recent person on here was asking if they and their family should report another family member for fraud as they received PIP but could “walk miles”. Complete lack of common sense and human decency.

And so many MIL and SIL bashing threads. I genuinely have not met one single person in real life who doesn’t get on with their partners family.
And, the amount of people who don’t class In-laws as family. Of course your husband/wife’s family is now part of your family! Also same for step children.

It honestly feels like a parallel universe. But as we say in Yorkshire, nowt as funny as folk.

I thought it was "queer" not "funny" writing as a Lancastrian.

FunnyOrca · 09/01/2026 18:08

My conclusion is that mumsnet is where people turn when they are feeling particularly anxious

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/01/2026 18:20

xSnowFairyx · 08/01/2026 23:27

Of course I’m laughing, MN is hilarious.

It’s absolutely batshit, I love it.

venus7 · 09/01/2026 19:00

All this, other then in laws...I know many with (justified) complaints.

ChristmasFluff · 09/01/2026 19:16

Thing is, MN moderation is reactive, not proactive, so most OPs are bots and trolls at the moment. It's sad, but true.

There's a huge lack of activity on the site recently (trending posts used to change within the hour previously, Now you see the same posts there all day). MN needs money. Their moderation is thus extremely lenient and mostly focussed on removing 'troll-hunters' whilst retaining troll posts. Because they bring in engagement.

So yeah, there's a weird MN world. But that's all it is, and no reflection on the real world

Redpeach · 09/01/2026 19:23

So you don't know anyone who has a problem with in laws? as you point out we have a population of 70 million

MoonWoman69 · 09/01/2026 19:34

@xSnowFairyx
Because us Yorkshire folks are tough and very normal! I completely agree with all you've said there, it's become absolutely ridiculous!
I've never "shaken" at my doorbell being rung at any time. My exact words as I get up to answer it are usually "oh do piss off"! 🤣
My visitors come for their tea, I don't "host", we catch up, have a laugh, I make the meals and they just dig in! All very free and easy. Unlike the "hosting", which always puts me in mind of someone swirling round, fretting that everyone is 100% happy and being too uptight and stressed to enjoy the evening!
I read some MN posts and replies and wonder what planet they're living on, as it certainly isn't mine! 🤣
(She says, peering behind the curtain to see if there's a random serial killer with their finger poised in front of her doorbell! 🤣)

Justontherightsideofnormal · 09/01/2026 19:37

@xSnowFairyxi cannot believe I am writing this (tongue in cheek) are you my twin sister 😆 ps common sense cannot be learnt or bought

BeFairOliveBear · 09/01/2026 19:42

If only we all could be as perfect as you OP 😂