To Think I Live A Completely Different Life

[xSnowFairyx]

……to most other Mumsnetters?

Recent threads and comments, as well as ‘cliche’ MN things make me feel like I’m living in a parallel universe.

A lady on here was shaken and terrified when her OWN HUSBAND rang their doorbell last night at 11pm because he’d forgotten his keys. She thought it was as a serial killer. Then so many other MN’ers refuse to answer their door. They think ringing a bell is rude. They are always “shaken” by an unexpected visitor or knock at the door. Or think their neighbours are up to something but are too terrified and shaken to have a grown up conversation with them about: parking, driveways, boundaries etc.

Another lady was demanding a GP appointment because she’d tripped over (or had some accident) and her big toe was hurty/bruised. She didn’t want to go to Minor Injuries. Then all the other “should I go to A&E threads”. It’s just madness. Why is there no common sense? Why do people ask anonymous strangers on the internet without consulting a GP, pharmacist, 111 or bloody NHS .uk first?

Why is everything too “outing”? We have a population of around 70 million people. Don’t get me started on the outing hobbies or activities. Especially the husbands.

What’s the deal with “hosting”? When my friends or family come round, it’s just them coming round. I am not a “host” I am a human being enjoying the company of my loved ones in my home.

So many recent benefits bashing threads. A recent person on here was asking if they and their family should report another family member for fraud as they received PIP but could “walk miles”. Complete lack of common sense and human decency.

And so many MIL and SIL bashing threads. I genuinely have not met one single person in real life who doesn’t get on with their partners family.
And, the amount of people who don’t class In-laws as family. Of course your husband/wife’s family is now part of your family! Also same for step children.

It honestly feels like a parallel universe. But as we say in Yorkshire, nowt as funny as folk.

It’s an expedient word. ‘Who’s hosting?’ is quicker than ‘Who is having who around?’

So many recent benefits bashing threads.

I'm convinced most of these are made up, posted by party political activists trying to whip up hatred of the benefits system. Unfortunately it seems to be working.

I will say about the outing, MN post thread links to facebook so it can be, the rest YANBU. It’s like some people live on another planet.

I live a completely normal life except for neighbour problems which sound unreal. I have neighbours who constantly park over my driveway and I have confronted them a million times. I am not afraid to confront them. However some people live outside the MN expectations of decent behaviour and don’t care. They just do it anyway.

I think I live a very different life to most MNetters because I live in a rough poor area where people behave like thugs.

Well people are hardly going to post ‘I always answer the door, love my in laws and my neighbours are the best there is’. Because no one world read it. People post with issues. So it may feel like everyone has a jealous SIL, ungrateful adult children and cocklodgers but that’s what makes people engage.

I was just going to post that!

Yup.

I agree. They are literally called benefits because they are for the benefit of the country. It enables me to raise my children myself without having to outsource their deve;opment to a teenager who has just left school in a nursery.

I wasn’t being unkind, I’m often left feeling absolutely desperate for the people involved. As I said in my post, I have just found this to be eye opening and shocking since I began using Mumsnet.

Yanbu, i feel sane reading some of the stuff that people get offended about. We are imperfect people in an imperfect world - i think people would be much happier if they could just let go of the little things. I blame social media for a lot of it - people believe that evwryone else is living perfect lives but the truth is we are all.just muddling along as best we can. Nowt as strange as folks and all that

I can't remember what brought me here in September 2025, but there were three posts which grabbed my attention from that time -

-The one where the wife had lent her "friend" an unspecified amount of money. The friend then of course disappeared without a trace. It was such a large amount, many readers suspected in the hundreds of thousands, that the husband had to sell his flat in London as they were plunged into severe debt. She was trying to wriggle out of it even then and didn't understand why he was so angry. Just kept saying "but she was a good friend!" Husband had then picked up something in the supermarket and she had put it back and replaced it with a £1 item to save money, which kicked it all off.

-The one where the husband was obsessed with a girl at the gym and everyone was urging the wife to join the gym so she can watch / spy. It was complete cringe. The girl was cheering him on as he lifted his heaviest weight. The wife then started to contact people who worked at the gym to ask them to see what was going on.

-Woman was stressed and took her young son to a hospital cafe, and allowed him to run around in it. He ended up dumping a poor woman's lunch in her lap as he crashed into her. But the mother had posted that SHE was the emotionally injured party and that it had all made HER cry. The poor girl who had her lunch dumped in her lap was never given a second thought. In fact, the mother wanted her to apologise for showing her "temper" at (very rightly) getting upset.

I have been hooked since then. I have also given some light advice, as a lot of the questions resonate with me, or the same thing has happened to me.

For some people it's clearly their only outlet / place to ask for help so I would never criticise it or do it down.

I read this forum and can’t believe the things people get bothered about. I also see why the NHS and GP practices are in the state they are in. The toe thread was ridiculous! People are such wimps nowadays. Then again, I had a quite obviously broken foot bone last year (jumped on by a horse) and couldn’t be bothered with waiting in A+E so I hobbled around with a black, swollen foot for 2 months that I couldn’t get many shoes to fit😂It healed in the end, so all is good.

It also concerns me how many women are in relationships with vile, abusive men, and seem to think it’s normal.

I remember the hospital cafe one and while it was a really unfortunate accident and I would be pretty livid if I were the woman who got her lunch dumped everywhere, there was a lot more to the thread. The op had a very sick parent in hospital if I remember rightly and was really struggling. But obviously it’s uncool to have any compassion and accept accidents happen so she predictably got her arse handed to her.

This is such a sneery thread. All these posters acting is if they are so much better yet they are still here claiming it’s purely because they find it sooooo hilarious. Maybe they need a new hobby.

I know, but people were rightly pointing out that the girl who had her lunch dumped in her lap could also have been having a bad day. If I recall correctly it was a hospital cafe (might be wrong) so she may well have been in the same position as the op. You're right, op did get her arse handed to her, but she was on the phone at the time of the incident, which is what got people's backs up.

Yep, it is a very weird place at times and I too don't meet many people in RL like the people on here and yet I have still not left, 20+ years later as I am strangely addicted to MN.

Isn't the issue that people tend to live in silos? People naturally gravitate towards people who are similar to them, and so what seems like the 'real world' is just your narrow experience of it. I thought the OP's example of not knowing anyone with bad relationships with their families was very telling, I feel like I know a lot of people with difficult families! But I also wonder if I've been drawn to them as that's been my experience too. In reality, there will be a mixture of experiences, although I certainly don't think strained familial relationships are particularly uncommon. Same happens with income/ social background/ tastes/ attitudes.

Mumsnet is a public forum where a variety of people share things from their lives, so it's giving you a wider cross-section of the public.

I get it I really do. But the op repeatedly said she was having a really hard time and people still kept piling on telling her what a shit parent she was.

The point is, it wasn’t really a funny situation. She was struggling. All of these posters claiming to find it sooooo hilarious are essentially laughing at other people’s misery, anxiety and distress. Hence they probably need to find a healthier hobby.

Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes read things and think ‘that’s a bit of an over the top reaction’ but I either scroll on or comment constructively. I don’t stop to tell them how ridiculous they are or start a sneery thread about how people on MN are all ridiculous. And the op has pointed out specific threads/posters. Just nasty.

People who get their threads deleted because it was 'too outing' drive me mad. It's always something tame, as if someone has known its you!

To be fair, my SIL is a massive bitch.

Does anyone remember the thread from about 2 years ago where a CF neighbour was 'indiana jonesing' their way across a stream to erect some kind of screen onto OP's trees and the end of OP's garden? That was one of my favourites. Hilarious

Don't forget the comments about all older people being toxic I/stupid/greedy/very wealthy/. I find the ageism on here both entetraining and breathtaking. It is as if being nasty about older people will make the pster immune from the passage of time.

Same here in regard to living in a rough poor area and having neighbout problems. in fairness though when I did post about my horrible neigbours I had a large number of supportive and helpful replies which really helped. It made me feel less alone and validated my experiences. Neighbours are still vile despite a recent community trigger meeting (that is how bad things are)_ and a multi-agency response from polce and council. It was thanks to a post on here that I became aware of the community trigger process

Ha ha. No it's not. It's a word that's trying to elevate a spag bol to a state banquet. 😂

So what do you say when you’re discussing who’s hosting Christmas or the next get together?

I leave all my doors unlocked. The only people who knock are delivery people. Friends and family walk in shouting 'It's only me'
I've been to the GP twice in 25 years.
I don't 'host' my friends and family. They're just either here or they're not. If they are I give them food and drink (or they help themselves) and chat to them.
I love my in laws and absolutely consider them my family.
I don't have any problem with some of my taxes going to pay benefits. Even if there may be a minority of chancers and wrong 'uns claiming, it's small potatos compared with the way less privileged people are disadvantaged and exploited by the rich and powerful, so I save my anger for that.
Tbf whenever I've said any of these things on here (except the unlocked door one maybe) I've had a lot of agreeing reactions, so there's a fair few of us out here.