‘sober curious’, have a day off…

[ThatsVertigo]

I’ve just seen an acquaintance post an instagram story labelling themselves as ‘sober curious’ and encouraging people to ask them questions and others to reassess their relationship with alcohol. I’m all for them making changes that make them happier and healthier, but the positioning of the whole thing just made me roll my eyes, not everything needs a label. And if you need to label yourself as ‘sober curious’ in order to cut back then maybe you’re avoiding a more accurate label ‘alcoholic’.

This perfectly illustrates the old mindset that is being challenged - drinking in moderation was viewed as the norm/ideal. But drinking alcohol is now accepted to be unhelpful for both physical and mental health. People drink alcohol for the effects of alcohol, even if they are moderate drinkers, and increasingly people are thinking they'd like to live without that.

For an example, a PT I know (quite young) is extremely fit, quite successful (online following, runs a lot of race, wins competitions etc) would talk about being ‘sober curious’ (in private - not on his platform). As someone who has talked to him and is slightly older (and less ‘cool’) I see it as someone who almost has his life together but is still struggling with certain aspects, drinks occasionally on nights out with his mates because it’s ’what you do’ but feels anxious and depressed afterwards, and there’s some hurt there, and a want to change, but can’t quite do it. The younger lot really are changing how they see drinking, they care about mental health and appearances, and achieving their potential. I personally think that should only be encouraged.

Maybe it can be added to he endless months already on the calendar dry July, whatever January, sober October, wine free September

Has anyone ever thought just stop drinking if you want to stop drinking or do you need a badge for it?

Don't get me started on smash burgers, and pulled dogs bollocks or whatever new food trend

Right, I got it the wrong way round. It is more about evangelising rather than announcing you have a drink problem. Both are a bit cringey though.

I rarely drink alcohol. Mainly have it at Christmas but nothing all year round because I don’t like it really. I have a friend who goes out but won’t drink alcohol as she wants to enjoy herself without alcohol. It’s rare for her to drink too. I think it’s just a phase some people are going though in their 40s- 50s. Do find this label strange though, people today are obsessed with labels! Just do what you want but no labels, because you’ll change how you feel throughout life.

Surely the default position for all humans is sober. There’s no curiosity involved.
we all already know what it’s like to be sober. Or am I missing something?

@NiceCupOfChaiyou are definitely missing something or live quite a sheltered life! Which is lovely but that is not true in many/ most circles, professions, occasions…

I think the only people this bothers are people who probably are quite uncomfortable with their own drinking and trying to push those feelings down.

Would I ever have labelled myself as ‘sober curious’? No. 😂 Though in retrospect, I probably was for about 2 years or so, circling around the idea of sobriety and trying it out. Definitely wouldn’t have used the term though.

I’ve been sober for nearly 3 years now. Most people have no idea, because I’m a totally normal person who just doesn’t drink alcohol. But the only ones who do get twitchy about it when they ask me why I’m not having a drink are definitely the ones clinging desperately on to the label of ‘normal drinker’ while very clearly sinking into chaos.

Sober fucking curious jesus wept. Just say you are an alcoholic or keep schtum cos that is pretty much what you are telling the world with that nonsense.

I definitely don’t live a sheltered life. Obviously I recognise there are people with big problems but presumably this IG account is not targeting those people. I don’t believe the majority of the population are living their lives half cut, that’s ludicrous!

Just another attention seeking label to be honest. You got to be pretty wet to call yourself sober curious.

The majority of adults still drink alcohol.

You perceive it as evangelising, but that's your take.

It's ok to drink if you want to, and ok not to drink if you don't want to. It's not a moral issue, it's a personal preference.

Yes. the majority of adults know what it feels
like to be sober. They don’t need to be curious about it.

Given the world as it is at moment I’m regretting my dry January - I may become alcohol curious tomorrow night ! Honestly it was a term probably dreamed up in a marketing agency for flogging non alcoholic alternative beverages

Only a minority are teetotal, which is what sober means.

Sober curious means teetotal. The majority of adults do not know what it is like to live that way.

Edited to change 'sober' to 'sober curious'

Ah, no. Sober means not affected by alcohol.

Sober curious does not mean that.

You are obviously not sober curious in the gaps between getting pissed!

It means to be interested in what it's like to live your life completely without alcohol. Used by people who, yes, probably have some sort of excessive drinking habit. I use this term about myself retrospectively. I wanted to quit for a couple of years and read a lot of literature etc about people who had managed to quit. I tried several times to quit, unsuccessfully. I eventually succeeded a little over 3 years ago. The period when I was trying to quit, I now say I was sober curious. Because I was. Sober curious is a very common term used in the sober community, but unless you've gone through the process of having a problem with alcohol and then successfully quitting or trying to quit, you wouldn't have any exposure or awareness of the sober community. I agree the term has probably been bastardised though by people who just think cutting down a bit makes them 'sober curious'

'sober' in this context means to live life without any alcohol at all. Not 'i was pissed yesterday today I'm sober'. And I agree the majority of adults do not know what it's like. I was curious to know what it was like. And now I do. (And it's bloody amazing fwiw 😂)

'Sober' has always had the meaning 'she is a non-drinker'

It doesn't just mean 'she isn't currently drunk', although that is also a meaning of the word.

Google says sober means: Abstaining from or habitually abstemious in the use of alcoholic drink or other intoxicants.

It does sound ridiculous but it also gets attention and will likely lead to more people considering the risks with alcohol.

Btw being sober (as in a permanent lifestyle choice not in this moment) is really recommended! I think the ‘sober curious’ people are on the road to that, if not now when they’re ready, and I’m happy for them. I have always been a high achiever, but quitting alcohol completely? Life changing.

If I could edit I might change that, as it sounds boastful and I don’t mean it to be!! I just mean I did well in uni/ work/ life whilst drinking, but the difference to not drinking is phenomenal. And I would love more people to experience it. It IS a bit like religion I’m sure, hence being cringey/ embarrassing/ annoying to ‘outsiders’. But it’s because you want other people to share things that are truly transformative (to you). I have also lived through alcoholism in others, and many many horrible situations growing up that were alcohol induced. So I love the new ‘sober curious’ trend.