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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
Allthecoloursoftherainbow4 · 07/01/2026 19:06

averychoc · 07/01/2026 09:10

You can’t self report you are struggling to dress to your GP and have it submitted as evidence without any reason why you would be struggling though. That’s utter nonsense. I could go and tell my GP right now I can’t dress myself and I can’t make a meal but him saying said does not make it evidence, unless I am dating I cannot do it because am there is a medical reason for that. Self reporting doesn’t make evidence the way people seem to think it does

There are lots of conditions that there's no clear test to diagnose people - the diagnosis is made based on the individuals self reported symptoms. Eg IBS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome. They are often a diagnosis of elimination where doctors can't find something else wrong and the symptoms fit.

So yes there absolutely are things that are very much based on self reporting

There's no test for things like anxiety? You can only go on what a person tells their doctor they are experiencing. Of course most will be honest but its massively naive to suggest nobody out there chooses to exaggerate in order to better their chances of securing a higher rate of disability benefits.

DeposedPresident · 07/01/2026 19:08

Everlore · 07/01/2026 18:52

Unfortunately, yes, I do need to care about the dangerous and malicious propaganda being spread by numerous posters on threads like this. Sadly, this is not just a hypothetical, purely online issue, these harmful offensive opinions can have a detrimental effect on wider public attitudes and as a result can cause real hurt to actual, living and breathing disabled people.
This OP is a case in point. Offering the OP the benefit of the doubt and accepting that her relative is real and their circumstances as OP describes and not an ableist dog-whistle of a post of the sort that too often proliferate on this site, the OP is essentially asking random strangers on the internet to validate her desire to report a family member for benefits fraud, based on seemingly no evidence other than her vague opinion that he isn't 'disabled enough' to qualify.
The posters on here encouraging her to report the relative, who, surprisingly for this site appear to be in the minority, are advising the OP to potentially instigate a fraud investigation which could cause months and months of stress and mental anguish, entirely on the basis that she thinks she knows better than qualified professionals who doubtless had access to significant medical information which she does not.
The thought of disabled people being forced to undergo gruelling and humiliating investigations because a bitter and judgemental busy-body reported them to the DWP for fraud because they caught them smiling, leaving the house, having friends round or any of countless other things us disabled people aren't supposed to do is chilling.
I work full time, am happily married with a wonderful baby and have an active social life with family and friends. I also claim PIP, which, as others have noted, is non-means tested. It in no way covers the extra costs related to my disability, but it helps. However, as I said in an earlier comment, I don't really have to worry about people reporting me to the DWP for PIP fraud if I go out for dinner with my family as my disability is both very noticable and is also the kind of condition pretty much universally recognised as a disability.
If I had an invisible disability I would probably be terrified to leave the house knowing there were unpleasant, judgemental people like these posters around, deciding I was fraudulently claiming to be disabled based on a cursory glance, rather than the reams of evidence PIP claimants have to submit with their claim and eager to attempt to destroy my life based entirely on flimsy assumptions and prejudices.

Good points, well made.

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 19:13

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 17:52

Of course I do however not everyone does that when they should.

Right. No need to suggest it as if it's a brand new idea you've come up with is there?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:25

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 13:48

But surely this argument can also work the other way? Unless the assessor is on the claimant's shoulder 24/7 how do they know the symptoms etc are not being exaggerated?

Because they’re medical professionals and much of the time they have the claimants’ own medical evidence from other professionals who have been involved with their care for much longer, and know them much better. Even when this is not the case, their medical knowledge will inform them as to the expectations as to the limitations and effects of many disabilties as the norm.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:29

Allthecoloursoftherainbow4 · 07/01/2026 19:06

There are lots of conditions that there's no clear test to diagnose people - the diagnosis is made based on the individuals self reported symptoms. Eg IBS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome. They are often a diagnosis of elimination where doctors can't find something else wrong and the symptoms fit.

So yes there absolutely are things that are very much based on self reporting

There's no test for things like anxiety? You can only go on what a person tells their doctor they are experiencing. Of course most will be honest but its massively naive to suggest nobody out there chooses to exaggerate in order to better their chances of securing a higher rate of disability benefits.

And it’s massively naive to suggest that medical professionals acting as assessors will not be familiar with what would be the normal expectation of effects from someone self reporting. Not everyone will be in receipt of a diagnosis. And for Pip a diagnosis is not necessary because benefit is not awarded on the basis of having a certain condition, it’s awarded on the basis of how that condition affects the claimant taking into account the fact that no condition has the same effect on any two sufferers.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:34

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 19:13

Right. No need to suggest it as if it's a brand new idea you've come up with is there?

Oh do piss off, I didn’t for one second suggest it as a brand new idea.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:40

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:34

Oh do piss off, I didn’t for one second suggest it as a brand new idea.

My point is if things change then benefits should be stopped if they wouldn’t be awarded if they were a new claimant. Things change and so should the benefits paid as a result.

Yes, you kind of did. Reviews and self reporting of a change in circumstances have always been part of the system. It’s nothing new.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:42

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:40

My point is if things change then benefits should be stopped if they wouldn’t be awarded if they were a new claimant. Things change and so should the benefits paid as a result.

Yes, you kind of did. Reviews and self reporting of a change in circumstances have always been part of the system. It’s nothing new.

Edited

No I was stating what should be happening and that it isn’t always being done. But you read what you want.

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 19:46

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:34

Oh do piss off, I didn’t for one second suggest it as a brand new idea.

Gosh you're cross!

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:47

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:42

No I was stating what should be happening and that it isn’t always being done. But you read what you want.

I’m not reading anything. I’ve been a part of the PIP system since 2013 and the notion that reviews don’t take place to ensure there have been no changes in a claimants’ condition is just ridiculous. Only those with open ended awards with conditions unlikely to change for the better escape the review system. All other claims have a built in end date at which point a review takes place. It might take a while for that review decision to be delivered because there are backlogs but they are part of the system and to suggest otherwise indicates that you have little idea of how that system works.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:47

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 19:46

Gosh you're cross!

And wrong !!

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:48

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 19:46

Gosh you're cross!

Just fed up of being told what I meant when I write something.

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 19:49

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:48

Just fed up of being told what I meant when I write something.

Well if it happens that often you should be used to it and able to keep your temper.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:49

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:48

Just fed up of being told what I meant when I write something.

Well be clearer then. Because from what I’ve read you have no understanding of the system.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:51

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:47

I’m not reading anything. I’ve been a part of the PIP system since 2013 and the notion that reviews don’t take place to ensure there have been no changes in a claimants’ condition is just ridiculous. Only those with open ended awards with conditions unlikely to change for the better escape the review system. All other claims have a built in end date at which point a review takes place. It might take a while for that review decision to be delivered because there are backlogs but they are part of the system and to suggest otherwise indicates that you have little idea of how that system works.

Having an immediate family member who is in receipt of PIP and has reviews etc I know exactly how it works and have been active in this with them for the last 10 years so you’re once again wrong.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:54

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 19:49

Well be clearer then. Because from what I’ve read you have no understanding of the system.

Thanks for the top tip!

Glitchymn1 · 07/01/2026 19:54

PIP awards are generally based on someone describing their worst day.
The fraud would be doubtful disability, but it’s quite hard to prove and requires a fair bit of surveillance. Usually we would look at people who are doing undeclared work, claiming they can’t work as they are too disabled. People who say they use equipment to get around, a wheel chair for example, but can be seen running or doing physical work.

MN likes to pretend benefit fraud doesn’t happen for some reason.

ThatCleverBird · 07/01/2026 20:04

The worst thing about this post is that we could have people in our lives that think this about us secretly and then post like this online whilst being nice to our face

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 20:12

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 19:51

Having an immediate family member who is in receipt of PIP and has reviews etc I know exactly how it works and have been active in this with them for the last 10 years so you’re once again wrong.

I’m a professional disabilty outreach worker - over 20 years experience. Where am I wrong ?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 20:12

ThatCleverBird · 07/01/2026 20:04

The worst thing about this post is that we could have people in our lives that think this about us secretly and then post like this online whilst being nice to our face

Absolutely this.

Catladywithoutacat · 07/01/2026 20:14

Just don’t do it

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 20:14

Glitchymn1 · 07/01/2026 19:54

PIP awards are generally based on someone describing their worst day.
The fraud would be doubtful disability, but it’s quite hard to prove and requires a fair bit of surveillance. Usually we would look at people who are doing undeclared work, claiming they can’t work as they are too disabled. People who say they use equipment to get around, a wheel chair for example, but can be seen running or doing physical work.

MN likes to pretend benefit fraud doesn’t happen for some reason.

PIP is based on people describing how their disability affects them and backing it up with evidence. Not them describing their worst day. Claimants are obliged to say if their condition varies.

ETA and it's not an out of work benefit.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 20:15

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 20:12

I’m a professional disabilty outreach worker - over 20 years experience. Where am I wrong ?

By saying I don’t know how it works. I do but I don’t have to justify anything so I’m going to leave this now as it’s not productive, you have your view and I have mine.

Catladywithoutacat · 07/01/2026 20:15

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 20:12

Absolutely this.

Exactly disturbing tbh no wonder stories like hamlet existed such evil jealous individuals and they the closest people to you

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 20:15

Glitchymn1 · 07/01/2026 19:54

PIP awards are generally based on someone describing their worst day.
The fraud would be doubtful disability, but it’s quite hard to prove and requires a fair bit of surveillance. Usually we would look at people who are doing undeclared work, claiming they can’t work as they are too disabled. People who say they use equipment to get around, a wheel chair for example, but can be seen running or doing physical work.

MN likes to pretend benefit fraud doesn’t happen for some reason.

As a professional disability outreach worker I would never advise a claimant to base their claim on their worst day. It can amount to benefit fraud. The criteria for PIP is for the stated disability to be present 50% or more of the time, which is enough to secure an award. No claimant I’ve been involved with can claim that their worst day amounts to more than this.