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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 16:42

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 16:39

After you dear,after you.

I’ll leave life to professionals and not random keyboard warriors. 🙄

Everlore · 07/01/2026 16:50

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 16:36

Of course you're right,no benefit fraudsters exist anywhere apart from in the minds of Daily Mail readers. What a shiny little bubble you must live in.

I hope you are not accusing me of sarcasm, didn't I say I believe implicitly in all the, extremely convincing, accounts shared on threads like this?
I merely expressed my surprise that people engaged in fraud would be so willing, even keen, to share details of their crimes with every nosy parker they meet.
However, to address your last point, I'd rather live in a shiny bubble than a state of perpetual paranoia as a curtain-twitching busy-body spying on my neighbours and stewing in impotent rage that the lazy scrounger at number eleven gets a 'free car' when it doesn't look like there is anything wrong with him.
*I was being hyperbolic about the 'free car', I know they are not free, but not sure I can be bothered rehashing that yet again for ignorant posters who failed to get it the first few hundred times it was explained to them on threads like these!

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 16:57

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 13:18

My point is if things change then benefits should be stopped if they wouldn’t be awarded if they were a new claimant. Things change and so should the benefits paid as a result.

And that’s what reviews are for. Things do change and unless a claimant has a disabilty or condition that is unlikely to change for the better, they will be subject to reviews every couple of years. There is a legal obligation for claimants to report a change of condition - reviews are built in to make sure that happens.

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 17:15

Everlore · 07/01/2026 16:39

Another day, another depressingly familiar disabled-bashing thread which, as always, the MN authorities will do absolutely nothing to moderate.
All the usual greatest hits of ableism have appeared repeatedly on this tedious post, replete with posters opining at length about a subject on which they are so obviously entirely ignorant.
It is reading ill-informed posts from people who think that they are more qualified to make judgements on how disabled someone is than the professionals whose actual job it is to do so and who seem to believe that one can judge the level of someone's disability just by looking at them, that sort of makes me glad to have been born with a severe physical disability which is immediately obvious on meeting me. At least nobody questions my disabled status. Still have to deal with lots of the other tiresome discrimination, both indirect and direct, which is all too familiar to most disabled people.

Well, they won’t change a thing. Best to just get on with life. Do you need to care what random strangers think?

Silvertulips · 07/01/2026 17:34

Everlore

Interesting thought!

So you are happy that people claim g to be disabled are taking the funding meant for those who struggle?

The pot grows ever smaller for those in need now fighting to get the funds they need.

KarenWheeler · 07/01/2026 17:41

Do you know how friggin hard it is to get PIP? If they’ve been awarded it they’ll need it!

Locutus2000 · 07/01/2026 17:44
Bass Fishing GIF by Karl's Bait & Tackle

OP right now

ForeverLoveCeltic · 07/01/2026 17:49

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 13:41

And here we have it. This is where the DWP's mythical 0.0000000% PIP fraud rate comes from.

Please show where the dwp states a non existent fraud rate from PIP. You've made it abundantly clear what you would do in this situation, all i will say is karma waits around every corner.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 17:52

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 13:23

That's built into the law. Claimants of any benefit need to let the DWP know if anything changes. Did you not know that?

Of course I do however not everyone does that when they should.

Justdoitalreadywillyou · 07/01/2026 17:53

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 13:37

I agree with that principle. Of course only those honestly entitled to any benefit should be the only ones who get it..

But, random relatives, friends, pub goers, neighbours etc shouldn't be the ones who decide to judge it.

I totally agree with you.

ForeverLoveCeltic · 07/01/2026 17:56

Silvertulips · 07/01/2026 17:34

Everlore

Interesting thought!

So you are happy that people claim g to be disabled are taking the funding meant for those who struggle?

The pot grows ever smaller for those in need now fighting to get the funds they need.

You really don't know how the system works do you?

Frequency · 07/01/2026 17:58

ForeverLoveCeltic · 07/01/2026 17:49

Please show where the dwp states a non existent fraud rate from PIP. You've made it abundantly clear what you would do in this situation, all i will say is karma waits around every corner.

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/fraud-and-error-in-the-benefit-system-financial-year-2024-to-2025-estimates/fraud-and-error-in-the-benefit-system-financial-year-ending-fye-2025#personal-independence-payment-overpayments-and-underpayments

It's up slightly overpayment due to fraud for PIP is now 0.4% of claims, up from 0% in 2024. Total overpayments due to fraud or error are 1.3% of claims, which makes the assertion that everyone knows someone who is claiming fraudulently utterly nonsensical. Approximately 1 in every 100 claims is overpaid due to fraud or error, and only half of those are due to fraud, so statisically for everyone to know one person claiming fraudulently, we'd all need to know 200 people claiming PIP, which is just nonsense. Most people don't even know 200 people, let alone 200 disabled people.

Fraud and error in the benefit system, Financial Year Ending (FYE) 2025

https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/fraud-and-error-in-the-benefit-system-financial-year-2024-to-2025-estimates/fraud-and-error-in-the-benefit-system-financial-year-ending-fye-2025#personal-independence-payment-overpayments-and-underpayments

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 17:59

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 16:41

No. There are just legions of pretend disabled people roaming around doing their best Quasimodo routine, bent over, clutching their backs, and shouting for Esmerelda.

Or, perhaps, ., they are also just in the minds of DM readers. 😂😂😂

How embarrassing.

HelenaWaiting · 07/01/2026 18:03

Clearhill · 07/01/2026 11:29

What an appalling attitude YOU have. What a massive, over-judgemental over-reaction. There is nothing immoral about questioning whether a significant chunk of state resources should go to supporting someone who is well enough to socialise regularly and is able to participate in society. If you can participate, you can contribute. The real question is why you have such a strong emotional reaction to this question. Did it hit a nerve, I wonder.

Why are you benefit bashers so lacking in intellectual capacity that you still cannot grasp, despite being told endlessly, that PIP IS NOT AN OUT OF WORK BENEFIT?

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 18:07

ForeverLoveCeltic · 07/01/2026 17:49

Please show where the dwp states a non existent fraud rate from PIP. You've made it abundantly clear what you would do in this situation, all i will say is karma waits around every corner.

I see the DWP figure touted on these threads all the time as absolute proof that there is such a teeny tiny fraud rate to make it virtually none existant. Also you don't need to wish Karma to catch me as I have RP so there's a massive possibility that I will lose my sight in the coming years. This still doesn't stop me being enraged at benefit fraud and the people who openly advocate to 'mind your own' Beak out' etc etc and MN is full of them.

Sometimessmiling · 07/01/2026 18:08

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:22

Fair enough. I see them regularly. I do know the ins and outs and they live a pretty normal life really. Yes, morally torn. Most of the family think it wasn’t appropriate.

I hate the system so many who need it don't get and others seem to get so much. It pisses me off.

VillaDiodati · 07/01/2026 18:10

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 16:42

I’ll leave life to professionals and not random keyboard warriors. 🙄

Good plan. Oh and don't roll your eyes so,you'll give yourself a headache.

JLou08 · 07/01/2026 18:16

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

Are you a DWP assessor? Social worker? What makes you think you are qualified to say that your disabled relative isn't disabled enough for what they get?

TheMorgenmuffel · 07/01/2026 18:22

Everlore · 07/01/2026 16:04

This is a very good question, in these, absolutely true, accounts of people these posters definitely know who are fraudulently claiming PIP for a bad back while being world limbo champion, I am always surprised by how charmingly garrulous these alleged criminals are.
I imagine that, if one were to commit benefit fraud, one would keep quiet about one's illegal activity, not share it with every nosy neighbour or judgemental distant family member you happen to speak to.
If I were a cynical person, I might be inclined to reach the hypothesis that these flagrant fraudsters are figments of the posters' fevered imaginations, conjured up from a thousand lurid Daily Mail disabled-bashing scare-mongering headlines. However, I am a trusting soul so I would never suggest such a thing!

I'm with you there.
It seems to me that crime rule number one would be keep your mouth shut.

I'm amazed police don't just hang around pubs, coffee shops, dog parks and the like with tape recorders since it appears people are going round confessing their dodgy dealings left, right and centre.

Or just strike up a conversation with randoms at tesco. A bit of a chat about the weather while they peruse the beans and five minutes later theyll be fessing up to all sorts.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 18:34

Parsleyandthyme · 07/01/2026 14:00

benefit expenditure overpaid in FYE 2025 was 3.3% (£9.5bn)
Quote from the Gov website above
What's most amazing isn't 9.5bn fraud but that 9.5bn is only 3%!!!!

It’s not just fraud, it’s DWP error too - it’s all lumped together. A bit of critical thinking would tell you why.

Everlore · 07/01/2026 18:52

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 17:15

Well, they won’t change a thing. Best to just get on with life. Do you need to care what random strangers think?

Unfortunately, yes, I do need to care about the dangerous and malicious propaganda being spread by numerous posters on threads like this. Sadly, this is not just a hypothetical, purely online issue, these harmful offensive opinions can have a detrimental effect on wider public attitudes and as a result can cause real hurt to actual, living and breathing disabled people.
This OP is a case in point. Offering the OP the benefit of the doubt and accepting that her relative is real and their circumstances as OP describes and not an ableist dog-whistle of a post of the sort that too often proliferate on this site, the OP is essentially asking random strangers on the internet to validate her desire to report a family member for benefits fraud, based on seemingly no evidence other than her vague opinion that he isn't 'disabled enough' to qualify.
The posters on here encouraging her to report the relative, who, surprisingly for this site appear to be in the minority, are advising the OP to potentially instigate a fraud investigation which could cause months and months of stress and mental anguish, entirely on the basis that she thinks she knows better than qualified professionals who doubtless had access to significant medical information which she does not.
The thought of disabled people being forced to undergo gruelling and humiliating investigations because a bitter and judgemental busy-body reported them to the DWP for fraud because they caught them smiling, leaving the house, having friends round or any of countless other things us disabled people aren't supposed to do is chilling.
I work full time, am happily married with a wonderful baby and have an active social life with family and friends. I also claim PIP, which, as others have noted, is non-means tested. It in no way covers the extra costs related to my disability, but it helps. However, as I said in an earlier comment, I don't really have to worry about people reporting me to the DWP for PIP fraud if I go out for dinner with my family as my disability is both very noticable and is also the kind of condition pretty much universally recognised as a disability.
If I had an invisible disability I would probably be terrified to leave the house knowing there were unpleasant, judgemental people like these posters around, deciding I was fraudulently claiming to be disabled based on a cursory glance, rather than the reams of evidence PIP claimants have to submit with their claim and eager to attempt to destroy my life based entirely on flimsy assumptions and prejudices.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 18:57

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 17:15

Well, they won’t change a thing. Best to just get on with life. Do you need to care what random strangers think?

When random strangers are the ones ‘dobbing you in’ because you don’t look disabled enough of course you need to care.

Frequency · 07/01/2026 18:58

To give a bit more context to the £9.5b figure, money lost to tax avoidance, evasion, non payment etc was £46.8bn in the last tax year, but absolutely keep focusing on making sure those with the least do not get a single penny more than they should. It'll make all the difference to the overall budget.

MissJeanBrodiesmother · 07/01/2026 18:59

You obviously dislike your relative or are jealous of them. Neither are a great look. Leave them alone.

Poetnojo · 07/01/2026 19:01

OMG get a life and leave your relative to theirs.