MIL arriving this week, house a mess

[Janblues28]

We've been away for Christmas, got back Sunday and straight into work/school. MIL comes to stay at the end of the week. Normally we have a cleaner but she's not available. DH works part time - maybe does 2/3 hours work per day. I'm full time also do lions share of parenting DS (has ASD and im the preferred parent). DH has no plans to clean house, make the bed before his mum arrives. I'm so angry that he's a lazy a**hole but also don't feel i can leave it in a mess before she arrives. Ordinarily I'd clean up on the weekend. Do i leave it? I don't see why I should do it and realistically means I will be cleaning/organising 6pm to 10pm tomorrow night.

I would leave it, and when she arrives greet her with a breezy sorry for the mess but dhs name hasn’t got round to tidying and I’ve been working full time

just leave the mess. Worst case MIL moans and you say "talk to DH about it he has had all week to sort it"

best case he picks up and does it. 2nd best case she does it...

Just leave it. Maybe send a quick text to your MIL saying sorry house is a mess and I am working this week, H won’t clean it so don’t expect usual standards.

Just leave it

Leave it but remind them both of your different working hours!

Ask him to do it ... if he doesn't just leave ut, dont even do it at the weekend. He's taking the mick!

Don’t even consider doing it! He does the sum total of bugger all because you keep picking up his slack! Time to stop enabling this lazy waste of space

Leave it, and if she is rude enough to mention it, be sure to explain how the work is divided in your house.

My mil used to praise DH for his excellent hosting / cooking at family meals. Which would have been fine had DH actually known which room was the kitchen.

I’d want to leave it, but I’d be too embarrassed.

Why is your husband such a lazy fucker?

If your husband who works part time won't get the house in shape for his mom's visit, he wasn't brought up very well or he's a lazy ass.

Don't do it for him.

What does your husband do with the rest of his time??

Go on the next door app and find a one-off cleaner. if you state when you need them and what you’re willing to pay, you’ll cut down on a lot of the back-and-forth.

Sorry but I disagree with the people saying just leave it. Why should it be left when he sat at home doing nothing? I wouldn't have people come to stay with my house a mess. Tell him he needs to clean it up or cancel his mum coming because it's unacceptable.

Well yes but if he refuses she can’t exactly get him to do it at gunpoint can she?

best option = he does it but she can’t force him
worst = she does
middle ground = it gets left

So he works 2/3 hours a day and you have a cleaner because he’s a lazy git? You also do the majority of the parenting, what does he bring to the relationship because it doesn’t sound like much.

Honestly, I don’t understand why folk put up with this nonsense from lazy partners. Tell him he either sorts himself out or moves out and I wouldn’t be cleaning for his mother coming either, but then she raised him so must know what a lazy arse he is.

Ask DH today to clean the house, make the bed and do a shop before she arrives.

Then book to be away on the first night that she arrives, just book a cheap travel lodge or something with DS as a "treat". Make sure you're due to be gone by the time she arrives.

When you get home say "Oh my gosh MIL I'm so sorry the house is such a state, I don't know why DH hasn't cleaned, I'm so embarrassed".

it's HIS mother, of course leave it to him!

And if doesn't do anything, tell her you are highly embarrassed to live with such a lazy incompetent idiot.

After all, she raised him, none of it is your problem.

How much does he earn that it's worth living with him?

If DH refused to make up bed and tidy the room she'll be using at least I'd ring and cancel her.

Does he not think it needs doing or not think it should be his job?
As I get not necessarily doing a special deep clean, but clean sheets on a guests bed are the bare minimum

I would cancel the visit and tell mil why. However, I actually wouldn't tolerate such a lazy fucker as a husband.

Say and do nothing. Don’t text. Don’t apologise. Don’t explain. Let the situation run it’s course and then consider just how much joy your husband brings to your life. If the answer is none, feel free to get rid.

The husband is a separate problem for now (I would be questioning the relationship)

For now though, I know I would hate to have someone arrive to an untidy house (that is just me). What I do if I need a last minute cleaner (I have a holiday let) is I put a post on a local facebook page saying I need someone asap. You always get replies, often people are looking to pick up some casual, cash work. My regular cleaner who is Ukranian was a real find who I found this way.

Do the bare minimum to make it clean . Leave everything else and explain how you’ve worked full time take care of your child so not had time or energy. Then drop in the fact her son works a couple of hours a day.

or call a cleaning agency and put the bill in his name.

I couldn't sit in a messy house and definitely couldn't have guests arriving to a messy house so I would have already cleaned it and then make sure it was spotless before she arrived, working full time or not.

That being said it is clearly on your husband to do this as he works part time and it's his Mum. He sounds very selfish.

Leave it to him to sort. And don’t bend over backwards on catering either. You’re too busy to sort the food shopping so he can go to the supermarket or order online, and he can sort dinner when she arrives.