My boyfriend is paranoid that I'm chatting inappropriately with other men on social media.

[Peapod2016]

When I met my boyfriend 9 months ago I was still connected with some people on social media that I'd previously dated. After a couple of months we became exclusive and he didn't like me still having these connections. I removed them all to make him feel more comfortable and was happy to do that as I didn't need to stay in touch with any of them. But since then he's still really paranoid and keeps asking if I'm talking to any other men or getting messages from any other men. He usually accepts it when I say no but recently he's been asking to look at my phone to see my message apps and phone photos. I don't feel comfortable with that as I feel like it's invading my privacy but if I refuse he takes it to mean that I'm guilty and I must be hiding something. At Christmas it got heated as we were both drunk and he got very angry and started throwing things around when I wouldn't show him my camera reel on my phone. Am I being unreasonable not giving him free access to my phone? I'm not hiding anything as I'm not talking to anyone but still want to keep some parts of my life private.

Run.

Sounds like he's the one with inappropriate social media ex contact, and he's deflecting.
Massive red flag, end things now.

It’s not going to work…

What your boyfriend is doing is what abusive people do. Suggest you do some reading around it to learn more.

Generally people showing abusive behaviour get worse. Might be worth doing a Claire's Law request to see if your bf has previous form?

This is just the beginning. Give it six months and he'll be sulking and guilt tripping you when you go out and asking to track your movements on your phone. Get rid now.

LEAVE. Please leave him. This will only get worse. He has already become violent by throwing things. First its objects. Then one day one of the objects will hit you. There will be big apologies, he will be horrified, love bomb you. But the precedent will have been set that he can hurt you. Please end this now.

If he's throwing things around because you won't show him your phone at 9 months there will be far worse to come. I'd be surprised if this man doesn't have a history of DV. You need to leave him now. End the relationship somewhere safe, either in a public place or over the phone. Never be on your own with him again. You will save yourself years of trauma if you act now on the advice you are being given.

Big red flag. Dump him.

Dump him. Red flag central.

Snap!

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
He's standing in a field full of red flags, waving a massive red flag, and with another red flag stuck up his arse
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
End the relationship now, and continue to be friends with whoever you want to be. Nobody ever has the right to restrict your friendships, whatever your relationship status.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Break up OP. He’s a jealous abusive and he will only get worse not better.

Get rid.

This is called coercive control and is against the law. https://safelives.org.uk/about-domestic-abuse/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

please find an exit from this relationship as it gets worse, others on here will be able to advise on the safest way to back away from him permanently.

Bin him.
he got very angry and started throwing things around is not acceptable in any situation and neither is the jealousy.

So kind of him to highlight his entirely unacceptable behaviour at a fairly early stage. Run, don’t walk.

Whatever you do, don’t frame this as jealousy or insecurity. It isn’t, it’s control. Get rid of him.

This is only going to get worse. Much worse. Run for the hills before he turns into a fully-fledged abuser. Which he absolutely will, no maybe about it.

👆 And don’t look back.

You are BU to stick with him and waste any more time. It's only going to get worst, a lot worst and nothing is acceptable already as it is.

Break up. Seriously. Getting very angry and throwing things is a red flag no matter the situation. But to react like that after you wouldn’t show him your phone makes me think this is the start of his abusive nature coming out. I bet your dream relationship doesn’t include being controlled, emotional abuse or the erosion of your self esteem. Don’t bother listening to his excuses or sob stories about his childhood, ex, mental health etc. Get out while you can before this gets worse

YABVU in not dumping him.

Huge red flag.
You’re in an abusive relationship OP. I’m so sorry. You need to end it, leave now.

This absolutely nails it.