Is your family shrinking?

[sunshine244]

I know there's a trend for people to have fewer kids currently, and am curious is others are finding similar patterns.

My kids only have one cousin despite them having 4 sets of aunts and uncles in their 40s. There's not likely to be any more children due to circumstances/age.

My own 6 cousins (40s-50s) have only had 4 children in total, and again it is unlikely there will be more.

Family gatherings are a lot quieter than when I was a child!

Not yet but it will, for example, my brother has only chosen to have 1 child due to cost of living. My sister is 35 and yet to have any children as she hasn’t met a partner and I’m going through a infertility journey myself and it’s looking more and more likely that I’ll have none or one at most. I feel weird and sad because when I was younger we always thought we’d have 3 each me and my siblings and when our parents die, aunts, uncles, there won’t be many of us round the dinner table

No.

my parents were both only children. I had no cousins.
their parents-
one was an orphan brought up by grandma
one had a sister who didn’t have kids
one’s entire family went to Australia in the 50s under the ten pound Pom scheme
one had four siblings only one of whom had kids

my family have actually been getting bigger.
I have twins. My brother has twins.

kind of, my brother choose to have no kids as he doesn’t like them. My family are gutted as the family name can’t continue to the point my grandad writes my surname for my kids post (in denial) 😂 I only have two and one of mine doesnt want kids either.

however if you go on my mums side my nan is one of nine, and the family is HUGE with lots of nieces & nephews.

I was an only child and I’ve been unable to have children so my family line ends with me. I am married but if I was to lose my husband then I would just be totally alone. It is what it is though.

A friend of mine had 2 siblings. None of them had children

DS is only grandchild on DH’s side of family.

My DD is an only and has no cousins despite having 3 sets of aunts/uncles.
I had 4 cousins in comparison from 2 sets of aunts/uncles.

My 4 cousins have had 10 kids between them though but most of them live in another country and I’ve never seen them. They are all young adults now.

There are no other children on my side of the family. Ex’s family is larger, with his cousins have millions of young kids between them, but he chooses to have nothing to do with them which is a shame for DD.

I imagine it will. I have 14 cousins, my children have one and that will probably go up but probably not to more than 4.

Yes. My mother was one of 9, and we regularly visited with aunties/uncles/cousins. Now I rarely see cousins (most in distant parts of the country), one brother is in Scotland and the other in the US (doubt they'd let me in if they checked my phone). Yes, Christmas is small and quiet and family events few and far between. Makes me very sad.

Mmm, certainly my DB only has one child, I have 2 but my DM had loads of cousins...I think what is much more striking in my circle is women of the younger generation, eg my DD (30) and all her friends aren't having kids, by choice. My BFF has 3 children and no grandchildren. I don't blame them, maternity leave is rubbish, childcare so expensive - they also look at the state of the world and don't want to bring children into it.

Not really, my sisters have 3 kids between them, I have one. My husband’s siblings have 5 kids between them so dd has 8 cousins. Growing up I had 1 cousin.

My husband only has one sibling and she’s not having children through choice so just our two on their side. We will probably have another though and my brother and sister currently have one each with plans to both have one or two more

I have one sibling and so does DH. We’ve all of us had two children each in a 6 year period. I’m happy for my kids that they have 4 cousins close in age. It’s a good number as they are all close. I think if you have too many cousins it’s difficult to be close to them all.

I have 13 cousins and if my siblings have the number of kids they want my children will have about 7 cousins. DH only has 4 cousins though so actually his family is growing. I think we are unusual in that all our siblings are married and want children. But yes in general looking at my friends then families are shrinking.

On my side no. I was an only. I had one cousin who was also an only. All of my side, except my cousin's 3yo (who lives with us now) are gone. But I have 4 children and my cousin had one so our side is technically bigger.

DH's side is shrinking but that's because MiL and FIL were one of 15 and 9. He has a ridiculous amount of cousins. A few have had bigger families, one of his cousins has 7 children, but nothing like 15 or 9!

No, but then I have no cousins anyway!

Very much so - nana was one of 7, mum was one of 4, i am 1 of 2, both my sister and i have one each. I've got 11 cousins but DD only has 1. My partner is childless, my ex's new partner is childless, my sister's partner is childless, among the new partners and my ex husband there is only one sibling who has a single child, the rest are childless. I've got 3 close friends, one childless against her will, one sterilised and childless by choice and the other has an only like me.

I would have had 4 kids biology allowing but after the first knew i couldnt afford more.

Yes, I have no children and neither do any of my siblings and we're all in our 40s. I would say in my social circle, only around a third have children.

Yes, looking at me and DH. Grandparents generation on the family tree are around 8 siblings on average, parents generation are around 4 or 5, my generation were 2 or 3 siblings and my generation have averaged 1.5 children each.

Not on my side. I’m one of two, I have 3 children my sister has 1 (plus 2 step children). My dad was 1 of 3, he obviously had 2, one of my uncles had 2 children (of whom 1 has 2 the other has 1), the other uncle had 4 (I lost touch with 2 of them when their mother took them away as very young children, a third died a few years ago now but she had Downs Syndrome and needed constant care, so no kids for her and the 4th I never really knew but believe she has multiple children). On my mums side all but one of her nieces and nephews have children now.

On my husbands side it’s definitely reduced. He was 1 of 3. We have our 3, 1 brother has 2, the other has 1. Out of my husbands cousins, only 2 had children.

Yes my dad was one of 7, I have 5 cousins, DC has no cousins

I had 21 cousins. My kids have none. So that would be a yes 😆

My parents were 1 of 6 and 1 of 11 respectively. DH and I are both 1 of 2 and neither of our siblings have, or will have, children.

Just FYI it isn’t childless when it is by choice, the term is child free. Childless has a negative connotation.

Not for me, I’ve always had a tiny family. No first cousins at all and only one uncle.

I have 4 dc. I have 2 older brothers who both have 4 kids each . my ds now has 5 dc so I have more children in my family than I’ve ever had 😆

I have 2 children but they have no cousins at all and wont have any now with the ages of the siblings. I had 8 cousins. It is sad that they wont know family get togethers of old that I had.

Yes, definitely.

My maternal grandparents had five grandchildren and my paternal grandparents had eleven. My parents have four grandchildren and my husband's parents have two. So whereas I had ten cousins, my own children have just two. They may still get more, but only one or two max.

Family gatherings still feel busy and fun, but mostly because there is a real mix of generations and both sides of the family. When my parents, aunts and uncles are no longer with us I think things will feel very different.