My manager was off today because her dog died on Saturday morning.

[IwishIwasacaterpillar]

Am I being an arsehole to think this is a bit ridiculous?

It seems like it sets a precedent. I have three cats, will I get a day off each time one of them dies ?

If you need to take time off you could use holiday, unpaid leave or a sick day due to mental health if you are really struggling to cope.

It depends how much a pet means to you. My previous dog was a continuum from belonging to my ( deceased) parents and my child.Some people have no, or are not close to, family so their pet is their every day companion and comfort and literally their best friend. I know a widower who mourned her cat more than the loss of her ( pretty obnoxious!) husband - the cat was 18 and had been with her all her adult life. I think most people don’t take the mick about mourning -( indeed if they can the traditional “ stiff British upper lip” is to avoid talking about it at all) so if they are so devastated that they feel the need to take a day off I’d say I admire them acknowledging they are not fit to function fully and need time to pull it together. Perhaps a little compassion might be in order?

It is perfectly understandable for her to want to have time to grieve. You may not understand why "just a dog" would have that effect that it has had on your Manager, but you should be human enough to get why for some people it's a very, very big deal.I'm lucky in that I've had colleagues who have understood my grief when my pets have died.

I don’t think it’s ridiculous. She can use her leave entitlement as she sees fit. I would be taking the time the time off to grieve my beloved dog. Not sure why it would cause you to lose sleep!

🤦‍♀️

You are being unreasonable. It's worse too if you have had to have your dog put to sleep. Having the weight of the decision and if you are doing the right thing and then being there while they give the injection, knowing that you could stop them but then that your dog would still be suffering.

Sometimes I just said my dog died as I didn't want to talk about her being put to sleep.

Oh my giddy aunt!!! Some such nasty comments on here!! The poor OP merely asked our opinion, but in return she has at times been absolutely ripped into - which is so unnecessary and jolly well unfair!

It’s a really interesting post; I know
when one of my dogs passes I’ll be utterly devastated, but whether I’d take a day off I honestly won’t know until the time. A couple of colleagues have done so in recent months and I felt so sorry that they’d lost their pet. We are all different and that makes the world an interesting place!

But honestly the OP just does not deserve such awful and cutting replies!!!

Off my soapbox now!! x

I know someone who was off work for 6 months on the sick when their dog died. Public sector obviously.

Sounds like you’re just a provocative person looking to stir the pot . Your manager and her personal business is none of yours . Stick to your lane and I hope you’re a more compassionate person towards your cats than you are towards your work superior.

The death of their dog could have been what tipped them into a mental health crisis that just needed that final trigger to set it off.

Yes you are an arsehole.

I wish I had your manager. I was off work the day after my dad died ( died late at night so I was up into the early hours) and back into work again after the weekend. My manager didn’t even tell me I was entitled to leave and I was just so busy, sleep deprived, and grieving it didn’t even occur to me that time off was pretty standard. None of my co-workers seemed surprised to see me in work and they all knew. Crazy thinking back to it. Not saying your manager shouldn’t have given you time off, just odd how wildly workplaces vary with these things.

I don’t agree , I think the op herself comes across as quite unpleasant

This

Jesus, all the bitter people here! My work has given me compassionate leave when my pet died a few years ago and I was still on probation. The lack of empathy and righteousness is disturbing. Imagine having colleagues like that.

DHs manager (big corporate company) has just had two weeks off after one of her dogs was PTS. She can’t have children and they are/were like her babies so she was devastated. Everyone is different. I personally worked from home then took a half days’ leave on the day after our cat was suddenly PTS last year because I kept bursting into tears. Luckily everyone in my team is compassionate, unlike some.

Some people get weirdly angry when they find out other people love their pets. Such an odd way to behave.

Yes, we need more love in the world if anything.

Right? There’s people on here who are pissed off that a person (who they don’t know anything else about) is sad their dog died. Makes no sense.

she probably had loads of deadmin and a funeral to arrange. Not to mention the grief

so it’s understandable

I’m getting a very strong vibe of this thread being full of soulless shit sacks. They might only be animals to you but to others they are a huge part of their lives, bring joy, laughter and comfort. To lose a pet is a genuine loss to many people, especially as cats and dogs can live to 15 and beyond. To lose all of that is something I would hate someone else to experience having experienced it many a time. How others grieve and what they grieve over is nobody else’s business and shouldn’t be ridiculed. To those saying it’s only a cat/dog are showing themselves to be nothing but almighty bell ends with a huge emotional deficit.

“I love the idea that when you die and go to, hopefully, heaven, all your dogs will come running across a sunlit lawn to welcome you, and your best dog will be leading the pack.”
— Jilly Cooper

Excuse me Jilly, but there’s no such thing as your best dog, they are all the best, it’s impossible to choose a favourite.

Also, if there is an afterlife and my pets are not there, I don’t want to go.

Perhaps. But it miraculously righted itself at 6 months before they went down to half pay.

Apparently the dog police have expanded operations: parks, cafés, and now HR.

I used to be public sector, and when I was very ill and came to end of my 6 months full pay off sick , I had no choice but to go back to work otherwise I would have been homeless. What happened was I ended up off sick again after a few weeks.