Should the person who earns more pay more for joint holiday friends not partners

[Libbykitty]

Just that really.

2 friends going on holiday, should the person who earns more pay more say 75 ler cent of holiday cost, neither person wealthy, but one is part time and the other is full time so earns more.

Welcome thoughts as I am unsure.

Actually, the thread has gone on a bit of a tangent.

There isn't a "rich" and "poor" or a high and low earner.

One just does loads more hours/work. Hence more pay. They earn the same, pro rata.

No, the full timer is subsidising the part timer. For Jack all reason too. They earn the same. One's just a harder worker.

Well we don't know why they 'only' work part-time, could be they need to cover childcare or other family caring role, I'll health etc, we cant assume it's because they can't be bothered to work hard

Unless the one earning more for some reason wants to treat the one earning less then it is fine. But that is more common among family rather than friends. I have paid for meals, coffees etc for friends when I am the one working and they are on mat leave etc as I just feel like it wouldn’t make much of a difference to my lifestyle to do so, but a whole holiday is a different thing. I would need to speak to DH to justify that as our joint money goes towards holidays etc.

My sibling has paid for holidays for me in the past but the difference in our salaries is crazy, mine at 50K and sibling at 400K plus. But I would never expect her to pick up the tab if we went anywhere or just assume that she would. I always offer to pay and we take turns usually. Sibling is older by a year.

No it’s split equally

Absolutely not.

Although my friend did bankroll me for a few things when I was still a student and they had graduated - because they wanted to do a particular thing and do it with me. In general we did things that were within my budget.

The entitlement of the part time worker is actually breathtaking. I’m surprised you are even asking this question. Like really, really confused this is even a thought or thing.

Why would they ??

No.

This.

What the actual fuck, of course not!

I will say I have experienced this when a friend invited a lower earning person and just announced that we would all be covering that person when the bill came. I had words with her afterwards.

No their not in a relationship so they both pay an equal amount.

If the full timer is offering to pay more as it doesn’t cost much difference to bring a second person, and it’s a close friendship, then that’s a different matter. However they should not be expected to pay more just because they earn more.

Friends shouldn’t feel obliged to sub part-time workers’ holidays!

No, however a budget should be discussed and agreed in advance

Nope

I would say no, each friend pays for themselves.

The only circumstances where that wouldn't apply would be if one friend wanted to do something or stay somewhere they knew the other couldn't afford. In those circumstances I have known people pay and ask for an amount they consider reasonable rather than the full amount from the friend. It is polite not to make them feel like a charity case.

No but the holiday should be planned on the lower budget, if the person who earns more wants additional luxuries they can pay extra

If I wanted to go on holiday and could afford it, and I wanted this particular person to come with me, and the difference between 1 person going and 2 people going was very small… then I would happily sub my friend. But (and I’m a low earner) it would only be with all those conditions met. Like if I met a low-earning friend for coffee, I’d sub them the coffee and cake quite happily because I like their company.

After a few times I’d be expecting them to return the favour, or at least to offer; and if there was never any quid pro quo in the friendship generally I would stop. (It needn’t be the exact same- to each her own- but eg inviting me to lunch at her house where she’s made a really cheap but delicious soup, where on my turn I might invite her to lunch out. That sort of thing. Keeps it a bit more equitable.)

No.

For partners and people who are married, yes.

For family when the better of person wants to, possibly.

Nope.

Absolutely not

Nope, that would be nuts. We have friends who are about 5 times as wealthy as us. When we do stuff together everything is split 50/50.

In a romantic partnership that might be different, depending on seriousness of the relationship, kids, homeownership, household labour, sacrifices made for each other etc.
But friends? Always 50/50.

No!

Nope.