Dh won’t ice skate

[Alwayseatingpringles]

Dd, 7 desperate to go ice skating (has only done it when little on a kids ice rink, holding onto one of the penguin things.
Now she’s a little older, there’s a bigger rink nearby at Christmas. She always asks Dh to go with her and he says no.
i do so many things with Dd, I don’t want to
ice skate, but I feel bad for Dd
Should she try on her own and we watch? I know she would probably need help, all I see is dads helping their kids

Would your Dh do it?

Aibu?

If neither of you can skate then you’ll be as much use to her on the ice as a chocolate fireguard. Isn’t lessons/penguin clearly the answer?

The thing is, you can’t dictate that ice skating is the one thing he MUST do, just because it’s the one thing you WON’T do! If you think he doesn’t do enough with her, talk to him about that, but he will need to choose things he can tolerate, like you do. If he really doesn’t want to do anything with her, that’s sad and pathetic, but you can’t force him to be a good father and it’s ultimately his loss.

If neither of you can stand to go ice skating, then either someone else takes her, or you book lessons, or she doesn’t get to go.

What if you took her somewhere to learn to roller skate first, that would probably put her in a better position for ice skating?

You can’t moan he won’t go if you won’t go.

Me and dh can both skate him backwards and fast, I skate around taking the photos and stopping younger ones falling over and teaching stops.

But despite that last time we skated he broke his ribs. Skating can be dangerous so if you’re genuinely not happy to do it don’t and also don’t force others.

YABU to complain about him not doing something with her that you don't want to do either.

Get her some lessons if you live near an indoor rink or find a willing friend/family member if it's just an outdoor temporary one.

Would they allow one of you in normal shoes with her in skates? That way one of you could take her and help her a bit without ice skating yourself.

Who is unreasonable depends - does he has some reason to not want to go ice skating, or does he say no to everything?

No, I'm a former coach and no ice rink is going to allow someone on the rink in their shoes.

Tbh if neither parent wants to do it I'd find a friend of hers who has a parent that's happy to take them on and send her with them.

This. We'd never suggest that two non-swimmers try to teach a child to swim, would we?

@tinytemper66
bless you , hope you recovered well .
sorry but I laughed out loud when I read you’re the teacher !

Enrol her in lessons op.

Start her off outside on roller skates first, once she can roller skate confidently, shd can try the ice. It's not disimilar - same mechanics, just a different feel.

I do the ice skating in our house because I can get round competently/hold up wobbling DC/catch them when needed. DH still needs a penguin of his own so he tends to stay off the ice and hold bags/take photos. If your DD is desperate to go, whoever is more likely to stay on their feet should take her. It’s not exactly my most favourite thing to do either, but it’s once a year so I just suck it up for an hour.

My girls managed fine with me watching.

In Scotland. It seems that this isn’t common though from the posts on here!

Yabu seeing as you dont want to do it either. Youve either got to bite the bullet & all do ir or just invite a friend of hers and let them.do.it together. I would not want to do it either tbh

Ask her if any of her friends are going and then you could just bring her to skate with them and watch safely from the sidelines.

I never remember adults skating with me as a kid. They just watched from the side.

They will fall over, it's inevitable. I had lessons too but only in this one rink that was small and only open in winter. Luckily I lived close enough to about six indoor ones too. The rest was just self taught. Same for all my friends.

This was in the 80s but ice skating hasn't changed in theory or practice really since then?

Sone rinks will have a few aggressive skaters going fast, and might be a bit hectic when busy, but I've never seen a bad collision as there's usually enough space.

It is ok for a child to hear no sometimes. I take my dc lots of places that wouldn't be my choice but something like ice skating would be a simple no I am not a good skater neither is dc dad and more than likely someone would get hurt

He’s allowed to not want to. My DH doesn’t ice skate either as he’s worried about falling and hurting his back. Whereas I ice skated as a kid so I have some balance. You can’t pressure him to do it when you don’t want to either!!

I’m in Scotland too! We get a few weeks of swimming in p5 but I’ve never heard of ice skating at school! My daughter is on her way…

I won't ice shake after a head injury on the ice. I am fine ice skating but not when trying to look out for ds when he was younger. It's really dangerous. Wear protective headgear

Do as I did - sign them up for lessons. I used to ice skate lots as a teenager/in my 20s, had my own white leather lace up skates which I had regularly sharpened (I lived in Southampton at the time it had a lovely rink).
Sadly those skates got sold and when I tried again with kids, it's those locking boots which I cannot get my feet in - I have a very high instep and a deep heel, so it won't fit. I have to go up about 5 sizes in order to get my feet round the angle of the boot - but then the boot itself is so loose on my foot that it's very dangerous, yet still tight on the ankle.
I had a horrendous experience at Windsor when they couldn't find me any boots and then refused to refund me - it wasn't their policy to refund a timed session once it had started and the poor assistant had to apologise as she had no mechanism available to refund me.
So I got lessons sorted when they wanted to skate, none of mine took it up or were particularly interested.

Isn't the point here that sometimes as parents we have to take our kids to clubs/activities etc that we don't want to do, because it benefits our children? I mean, neither I or DH particually enjoy taking the kids to piano lessons but we do so regardless.

It's all very well saying that if OP doesn't want to do it, why should her DH, but that's missing the point. Sometimes we have to suck things like this up, especially if DH doesn't really do anything with the kid normally.

That said, if neither of you actually know how to skate, definately have DH take her for lessons rather than just chucking her on the ice.

Blimey, I was quite a good ice skater up to the age of 25, but 40 years later I’m not sure I could do it now (not without getting my core strength back, anyway!)
YABVU if your DH doesn’t skate - it’s not for everyone and he is probably worried about either being unable to do it, or worse, falling onto your DC because he can’t trust himself to do it safely.
Ice skating is classified as a dangerous activity - hence the myriad notices up in A&E at this time of year asking patients to report if their injuries are caused by a trip to one of the popular pop-up ice rinks that appear in various locations during winter holidays…

I don’t want to do many things with my kids, they will miss out but that’s fine. No need to be a martyr over everything that your child wants to do. Dh and I both don’t want to ice skate so we won’t. Yabu.