Ex threatening suicide.

[1971girl]

I finished with my partner at the beginning of Dec. Both aged 54. I live with my son and he has a place of his own. I moved town and decided on a fresh start as our relationship had been very up and down. Lots of rows usually on alcohol as he could be a total twat on drink and start fights. I decided to break the cycle when I moved to a new house back in my hometown as he lived so close by to me and my old house. He has a drink problem and definitely has anxiety and mental health issues. I blocked him on the phone but he has been emailing me. I do care what happens to him but I don't want his issues anymore. The emails range between pure venom for dumping him and then wanting to be civil and meet up. He blames me for everything and thinks I am a cruel bitch for finishing with him. I try not to respond mostly. I have a heart but I know we would always have issues and he was draining me at times. I received an email saying he is going to end it all in a few days. I am alarmed at this and don't know what to do or who I should contact. Any advice would be very appreciated.

Do nothing. It's not your problem. Any contact just draws it out. It's kindest to leave and cut all contact.

I would call the police and ask them to do a welfare check on him. He’s not your responsibility but this could help push him into getting some help (and not from you).

You could call 111 and get through mental health team. This is the right thing to do (and keeps your consciousness clean)

A) Police will do a welfare check on him if you're seriously worried.
B) It's NOT your fault and he's NOT your responsibility.

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oh gosh I would be really sad and I’m sure some others would but if that’s what you’ve decided I will respect it

Not your problem and don’t get involved. He can find someone else to call a cruel bitch and play on their emotions. What a bastard.

Men who do this are often domestic abusers and rarely actually kill themselves. But they are very good at being nasty to women who let them in

I’d thank my lucky stars I’d moved on! Change your email address.

Dd had this problem with her ex. I called the police to do a welfare check, which they did.

He then decided she got them to check because she cared and he kept doing it, which resulted in a DA charge against him.

Make sure you keep copies of everything he is saying to you in case it does escalate, meantime call the police for every threat of suicide.

You should telephone the police and ask them to do a welfare check on someone who has contacted you saying they want to end their life. My ex used to do this. He stopped when officers attended his local pub and questioned his drinking buddies about his whereabouts. He was quite happy to threaten suicide as a form of control, but less happy when I stopped being controlled by it and outsourced the concern to services.

Tbh I’d ignore it- not your issue, even calling the police for a check to me is a pass to keep
contacting you. I’d send an email confirming that any more contact you will be deem as harassment and report him.

Ask the police for a welfare check.

Block his emails and move on with your life

Ah he has been reading 'the script'!

So boring, my ex did the same. 15 years on from his saying he is "walking to the train tracks now", he is still around and annoying everyone unfortunately

I know a few people who have committed suicide, and none of them said beforehand that they wanted to. They were not attention seekers like these pratts of men are.

This sounds awful, sorry you are going through this😔

I would raise the suicide issue with his GP - if this is a genuine risk, get them involved and let them assess. It sounds more likely that it is the latest in a string of desperate and abusive communications towards you rather than he is actually going to do this, but you could leave that with the GP. I would then send a simple response saying you don't want him to contact you again, in whatever way feels right to you but no more than two lines. I have the impression for some reason that your son is an adult, is that correct?

Yes if you really were going to do it and wanted to you wouldn’t tell a soul

this is emotional abuse - well documented as a tactic by women’s aid

and look how it’s worked OP - you are the one feeling bad now

Ignore. He’s not your responsibility and he’ll continue yanking your chain if you respond.

Thanks. I have kept all the emails. I told him i would get an injunction against him if he kept harassing me a few days ago. I might ring the police tomorrow and fetch a welfare check done and tell them to tell him to stop harassing me.

I had an abusive ex who threatened suicide after I ended the relationship. When that didn't work he then made up a story that he had cancer.

This is his last ditch attempt to control you. I would strongly recommend you don't engage with him at all.

You need to stop reading any and all communication from him. This is the only way you'll be properly free of him.
When you feel responsible or guilty, remind yourself that everything he wanted from you, you offered him. Yet he chose to abuse that by choosing to drink, fight and make your life miserable and create a toxic household for your son. So if he's unhappy now, he caused that by rejecting the opportunity to make a good life with you.

Thank you. It has been constant since we split. I do feel for him but I know I made the right decision getting away from him now. It's all very sad.

I genuinely dont understand many comments on here.

Why is it the OP's responsibility to contact the police, or contact his GP (WHAT???)

If he does decide to end it, so what? His decision.

The OP has enough to think about rather than farting around after a man who just wants her attention.

He’s playing a classic tactic manipulators do when they don’t get their own way. Ignore him he probably won’t do anything he just wants you to come running. If you can’t do nothing then phone the police and tell them about his threat they can check on him. He’s not your problem

Thank you. I won't. I can't believe he is sinking this low.

Btw these types never change. He will find someone else to do this to and wreck emotional havoc on them. So don’t feel guilty

I think people are suggesting that for OPs benefit not for his. Incase the very slim chance he actually does anything at least OP will know she did something. Not that she has to but some people may struggle if he did do something to himself and she did nothing