Ex threatening suicide.

[1971girl]

I finished with my partner at the beginning of Dec. Both aged 54. I live with my son and he has a place of his own. I moved town and decided on a fresh start as our relationship had been very up and down. Lots of rows usually on alcohol as he could be a total twat on drink and start fights. I decided to break the cycle when I moved to a new house back in my hometown as he lived so close by to me and my old house. He has a drink problem and definitely has anxiety and mental health issues. I blocked him on the phone but he has been emailing me. I do care what happens to him but I don't want his issues anymore. The emails range between pure venom for dumping him and then wanting to be civil and meet up. He blames me for everything and thinks I am a cruel bitch for finishing with him. I try not to respond mostly. I have a heart but I know we would always have issues and he was draining me at times. I received an email saying he is going to end it all in a few days. I am alarmed at this and don't know what to do or who I should contact. Any advice would be very appreciated.

Block him. Delete his emails without reading them

So I should he sorry for leaving a toxic relationship?

No. This man will be shuffling around you for a long time yet unless you totally ignore him

I was about to say something similar but you have put it better

Contacting the police because he is threatening suicide will either stop him doing it entirely, or be the start of him getting a domestic abuse charge, and a paper trail if op decides to go for a non molestation order.

It's for ops benefit, not his.

There is no depth some people won't sink to.

It's a manipulative, abusive tactic. Ring for a welfare check as a concerned citizen then block his nasty, bullying arse on whatever remaining forms of contact he has.

I see this myth on here all the time and it simply isn't true, most people who die by suicide have spoken to someone about it. Very few suicides are out of the blue.

Aside from whether op should act in this specific instance please don't spread this misinformation, it could be a different story for someone else.

Change your email address. I think he’s only saying that to get your attention. You need to completely cut him out of your life.

You need to call the police TONIGHT and explain that he has been constantly harassing you and is now threatening suicide.
Give them his name and address and then wipe your hands of him and block his email address.

Don't reply or respond in any way anymore. Block his emails or mark as spam if you can. Just don't read them.

"You made me do it"

A childish argument that some adults never let go of.

Does he know your new address? Your workplace? Your car? I would ensure your security is 120% and I would alert your neighbours, family, friends and colleagues. Your life is statistically much more at risk right now than his.

Also call the police about the harassment (stalking?) they SHOULD take this very seriously. Mention the suicide threats. That leaves the professionals to support him or smoke him out.

Please know that the risk of severe assault and murder to women escalates to the max when they leave a relationship and for the 2 years following.

Get a ring doorbell and a dash am.

I have read that when a partner threatens to kill themselves that is the time they are more likely to kill you.

Please be careful.

If he kills himself it is his responsibility

It is nothing to do with you

Sorry if this is obvious but it can never be said enough times

If he tries to make you responsible and you say no that does not mean that you do not care. All it means is that you stating a simple truth.

Don’t respond to his emails. Contact 111 or the police and pass on his threats etc.

Distance yourself now. Get a Ring doorbell. If he turns up on your doorstep don’t answer the door. Well done for finishing with him and getting away.

Once men like this realise their threats won’t work they can become dangerous. Please take care OP.

Report to police. One visit and they don't threaten suicide again.

@Kayoh - there's a difference between talking about killing yourself and threatening to kill yourself to someone who dumped you. One is talking about distress. The other is manipulation.

Yes. My son is 21. He is not his Dad.

Where have you got that idea from? No one on this post has said anything like that?

I mean this is what abusive men do. Guarantee about a third of them or more threaten self harm when dumped.

Call the non emergency ambulance people and tell them they can check on him if they want.

Block him and change your locks if he ever had a key. Advise family and friends not to share info about you with him. Cut off anyone who doesn't respect that.

Never agree to meet him. Do not answer the door if he shows up.

Read up on the 'narcissust hoovering tactics' and 'narcissist smear campaign'. Forewarned is forearmed.

Do nothing. Not a single thing. I wouldnt even bother contacting the police.

Its a pathetic attempt at manipulation.

The best thing you can do is totally ignore him, because he can't have a fight on his own. Set his emails to go to junk/spam and then move on.

Report the harassment. Have them do a welfare check on him if you wish but tell them you are blocking all his ways to contact you further. Block his email, block everything. Nothing he does is your business.

People who commit suicide don’t prewarn you that they are going to do it.

they make their decision and follow through with it without causing a drama beforehand as they believe that by doing it they are relieving you of any more hurt and pain. (If only that was the case)

I would contact professionals but from experience, people who intend suicide do not tell others what they plan to do and I would read this as him trying to mentally fu@k with you/create drama.

BUT I would reach out to professionals on his behalf but don’t contact him yourself.

Report to police the block him. Not your problem. I bet you are glad you not with him now. Lucky escape