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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex threatening suicide.

82 replies

1971girl · 01/01/2026 19:12

I finished with my partner at the beginning of Dec. Both aged 54. I live with my son and he has a place of his own. I moved town and decided on a fresh start as our relationship had been very up and down. Lots of rows usually on alcohol as he could be a total twat on drink and start fights. I decided to break the cycle when I moved to a new house back in my hometown as he lived so close by to me and my old house. He has a drink problem and definitely has anxiety and mental health issues. I blocked him on the phone but he has been emailing me. I do care what happens to him but I don't want his issues anymore. The emails range between pure venom for dumping him and then wanting to be civil and meet up. He blames me for everything and thinks I am a cruel bitch for finishing with him. I try not to respond mostly. I have a heart but I know we would always have issues and he was draining me at times. I received an email saying he is going to end it all in a few days. I am alarmed at this and don't know what to do or who I should contact. Any advice would be very appreciated.

OP posts:
BogusBargins · 03/01/2026 07:29

Also who the F says I’m going to KMS ‘in a few days’ - that just adds to the manipulation in my opinion.

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 03/01/2026 07:30

I'd ignore it personally. I wouldn't even contact the police. He's doing it for attention and to manipulate you into feeling guilty, and then you take him back. It's classic behaviour.

My ex threatened suicide(after the police were called for DA), even sent me a suicide video. He was trying to manipulate me into feeling guilty for going to the police. It was just another way to try and get control of me again.

Dancingsquirrels · 03/01/2026 07:32

2chocolateoranges · 01/01/2026 20:04

People who commit suicide don’t prewarn you that they are going to do it.

they make their decision and follow through with it without causing a drama beforehand as they believe that by doing it they are relieving you of any more hurt and pain. (If only that was the case)

Not true

Many people who die by suicide have previously expressed suicidal ideation

In this case, agree more likely to be manipulation by ex partner

OP, I suggest you tell him to seek professional advice if he's highly distressed and you're now blocking his emails

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 03/01/2026 07:40

bigboykitty · 03/01/2026 04:33

This absolutely doesn't sound like the whole story with your ex, I'm afraid. There are no accidental domestic abuse charges because someone was threatening suicide and the other person was trying to help.

@1971girl I would report him once to the police for making threats to end his life and ask them to do a welfare check. After that it's nothing to do with you and if he continues to contact you, you should report him for stalking and harassment. It's up to him to engage with alcohol support and MH services, or not. Your ex sounds like a carbon copy of my abusive ex. Also an angry, blaming alcoholic with MH/personality disorder issues. Take no responsibility for him. Even years later, my ex would occasionally text me drunk at 3 am saying he needed to talk to me, or send me something offensive in the post, anonymously. You don't need to feel responsible for him. You didn't cause this and you cannot control or change it. Well done on getting away.

Show quote history

It is absolutely the whole story I'm afraid.

He threatened suicide, I got the welfare check done and they told him to leave my dd be, he carried on and kept making new email addresses and using his friends phones, again he was warned, and he carried on still and was charged and found guilty of DA.

Who said it was accidental? It was a prolonged period of harrassment of him threatening suicide and blaming my dd.

gamerchick · 03/01/2026 07:43

It doesn't matter if they intend to do it or not. It just doesn't. It's not your responsibility and always hand it over to the police.

Personally I'd makes new email and leave that one to just fill up. Bit of a hassle but effective.

RampantIvy · 03/01/2026 07:47

You can block emails as well. You just select Block Sender.

bigboykitty · 03/01/2026 09:18

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 03/01/2026 07:40

It is absolutely the whole story I'm afraid.

He threatened suicide, I got the welfare check done and they told him to leave my dd be, he carried on and kept making new email addresses and using his friends phones, again he was warned, and he carried on still and was charged and found guilty of DA.

Who said it was accidental? It was a prolonged period of harrassment of him threatening suicide and blaming my dd.

Show quote history

I'm sorry, I misread your post in the middle of the night. I'm still surprised it was a domestic abuse charge as it sounds like stalking and harassment.

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