Fake grass is the height of tackiness

[Ihatetomatoes]

Horid stuff, and bad for wildlife.

If you don't have any spare time or are lazy, perhaps a property with a smaller garden.

I hope the new year brings some happiness and perspective x

You can buy nemotodes for leatherjackets.

Nemotodes are microscopic predators that kill the leatherjackets. Totally organic and only harmful to the pest. You add it to your watering can, water it in just before a rainy spell and bingo. It really works. https://www.nematodesdirect.co.uk/12-leatherjacket-killer-nematodes

The poor builder's soil is a ruddy nuisance. I dig out as much big stone (bigger than my fist) as I can and offer it free to collector. People always want it for hardcore/projects. Then, buy a big dumpy bag of soil (about ££60 a bag), spread it around, rake it, walk on it to press it down, sow grass seed (tenner a box) and there's your perfectly natural lawn.

Much cheaper than plastic grass.

Might be too late for you @NotSayingImBatman , but hope this helps other people.

Its way too s.all for a lawn and I have a massive tree which I will never cut down as the birds love it so grass won't grow there anyway. Weeds/bindweed seems to grow anywhere. Grass needs a certain amount of light to grow and mine is all shade.

In principle I agree, however we live in part of an old farm holdings and our back garden is part of the original courtyard (which our neighbours houses all surround). We have a stone dyke wall round it and when we moved in, it was all chipping stones (or chuckies as we call it). It was grey, dull and dangerous for our baby so we got professional landscapers in to fix it. We were told that we were unable to get real grass as the courtyard is 6ft of concrete so it wouldn't grow and therefore had to reluctantly get fake grass. I chose the highest quality stuff so it looks pretty real and doesn't get water logged as they put a drainage system in with a layer of sand over the rocks and concrete.

I've bought trellises and troughs and have planted small conifers, ball buxes and other evergreens and ivy in them as well as summer flowers (as nothing can grow in the ground).

I've also got planters and hanging baskets with real flowers. It's improved it dramatically from the concrete jungle it once was, I do wish that I had real grass but sadly not to be. I understand the hate for it though, especially when real grass CAN be grown in it's place. The upside for us is that it dries really quickly after rain so our boys can get outside without issue and the obvious no mowing! I do get a lot of weeds poking through in the spring and summer though, so that's a full day of hands and knees pulling them up as weed killer can't be used.

You can take it up.

And I hope it brings you the chance to reflect on the impact of your words.

from the entitled tone of EVERY single one of your posts I suspect that is unlikely.

It needs to be made illegal. It is ruinous to the environment in so many respects. The fact that it looks repulsive is almost irrelevant, it’s so destructive. None of the excuses people trot out come anywhere close to justifying it.

We have cats, so nematodes are a massive no, unfortunately. Couldn’t risk tracking some in on shoes or what have you. The fake grass does its job, and we installed raised beds that we’ve filled with pollinator-friendly flowers and plants to offset it as much as we can.

Any chemicals that leeched from the plastic will remain in the soil though. I'd rather avoid that.

I only ever garden organically. Chemicals upset the balance of the soil and wildlife in the garden. I'd never use it and my clients mostly choose me because they know I won't use chemicals.

Ok I am genuinely sorry if I upset you. I clearly touched a nerve. I think the comment that really upset you (which wasn't by me, btw) was a joke. Obviously you saw it differently. Sorry about that. It's just lawns.
No need to call me a cunt.

I garden 100% organically too. I figured that if someone has put down fake grass and has a moss issue, they are probably not too concerned about organic gardening.

It dies t grow in the kind of shade I have here. I've tried them all. Im thinking of wooden decking as it will at least give small animals some shelter underneath. Im also going g to devote one whole flowerbed to a victorian fern garden which is basically stacked logs and big ferns which love my shade. The animals and insects will love it too.

Ooh fern garden sounds nice, and kind of jurassic!

The house isn't for sale.
There's a thick sand layer underneath for drainage.

The nematodes are specific to the species they are meant to target and are completely harmless to cats. We have multiple cats and we use slug nematodes and chafer grub nematodes every year.

It applies to any house I would look at. I'm not looking at moving in a hurry. Only when old age forces me to one day.

Good to know. If I can ever be arsed to pull up the grass I’ll keep that in mind :) but right now, it’s already been installed and it seems even worse for the environment to rip it up and throw it away for no good reason.

This thread really has taken a bizarre turn!

But nematodes are harmless to cats? They're not the same as the parasitic worms.

Garden nemotodes for killing slugs and leatherjackets are harmless to pets and wildlife.

Yes of course it is. Yanbu.

It isn’t. The stuff is leaching micro-plastics into the soil and fucking up migration routes for amphibians. Every day it is there, it damages the natural environment.

IMO it’s wonderful to stand on grass with bare feet. I feel privileged that I have a lawn I can walk on. And for that reason I could never support fake grass.

My garden is a mess most of the time but I'm happy that there's insects for the birds and little bulbs popping up through the grass. Lots of families round here have plastic grass because they can't cope with a bit of mess, mud, and disorganisation. They think having a pristine garden that looks good to visitors and in photos is more desirable and they'd rather keep their nails clean.