Fake grass is the height of tackiness

[Ihatetomatoes]

Horid stuff, and bad for wildlife.

If you don't have any spare time or are lazy, perhaps a property with a smaller garden.

Can’t say I’d ever choose it, but real grass doesn’t do at all well in gardens that don’t get much sun (particularly narrow city gardens) so for anyone with small children it’s a practical option. The alternatives - paving, gravel, stone chips, aren’t at all child friendly, and decking gets slippery and encourages rats.

And BTW, the ‘shade friendly’ varieties of grass seed still don’t do well - not in our partly shaded garden anyway - we have abandoned that area to virtually 100% weeds.

I have seen (from a bedroom window) a whole family of rats emerging from a corner of next door’s decking, which covers a large corner of their small garden. They would then zoom up the fence and come marauding our bird feeders!

I went to an ancient country pub once for lunch and thought the hanging baskets were a bit off...they were all full of fake plastic flowers!! I was disgusted. Everything about the scene was perfect except those abominations. They were the cheap and nasty variety too. It put me right off my food.

Environment aside the fact that you have to hoover it alone puts me right off.

I tend to agree, although my elderly parents had a strip of grass at the front of their old house 1m x 2m which they replaced with artificial. It looked OK and saved them quite a bit of effort so I think there’s a place for it sometimes.

We have a garden that won't grow grass in half and will only grow bad quality in the rest because of the size, walls and underlying land.

Am I allowed to have plastic grass?

Anyone who thinks modern plastic grass looks fake and tacky isn't looking in the right price range.

You have so many other options to make that space lovely.

I’m not in the UK. I bought a house with some fake grass around the pool, it’s great stuff as it doesn’t get muddy. I do often wonder if it’s more or less eco friendly than the real grass in the front garden which takes a lot of water to keep alive for at least half the year as it just doesn’t rain ( we have a bore though so it’s not all bad). I know a previous poster said it comes back to life in winter if you don’t water it, well no it doesn’t. Our sprinkler died a few years ago and the lawn was completely fucked by the end of summer, it was a total pain in the arse re-seeding it, my neighbours plastic lawn looked much better than mine for ages.

No, you don’t have to hoover it, unless of course you want to. We just sweep ours when leaves fall in autumn and power wash it once a year. It comes up like new and is really soft to walk on in bare feet.

@BlasterplasterIve yet to hear of any pet eating fake grass🤔. If you do get poop on it, it’s very easy to pour a jug of soapy water over it and scrub it clean. With real grass the poop just gets embedded into the grass and soil.

No, because to some on here it is tacky, chavy, reduces the value of your house, kills your children and environmentally it is worst then Chernobyl.

Yes 🙌🏼.

Also I can’t afford to buy any fucking house at all let alone one with a smaller garden. OP showing their privilege A LOT here.

I've never hoovered our grass. I think it's a bit insane personally but apparently some people do. I don't know why.

Sadly there is some truth in that. Certainly feels like the backbone of social media these days, if not the wider internet. Nevertheless it is still tacky!

I suppose if I was as germ phobic as some then it might appeal.

😂 hoovering fake grass...

Rats are there due to food source from bird feeder and shelter from decking. Nothing to do with weeds and real grass

Shelter from decking - yes, that’s why I don’t think decking is ever a good idea!

Loathe it. When you think you could have actual real grass with daisies, buttercups, clover and bees…

Also in the bin: gravel, concrete, paving, ‘architectural’ gardens with one poor lonely plant surrounded by stones.

Oh, and bloody decking.

Just grow plants ffs.

Yup my neighbour does thiis. Facepalm.

You actually wouldn't have to put up bird feeders if you had real grass though. It would be full of worms and larvae, and all kinds of insects. It's a valuable piece of habitat. Just having beds and flowers is good, but limits the range of wildlife you can support.

My grass is a bit shit, it has weeds and bare patches. I don't water it. But I have so much wildlife living in it and from it. Even people with real grass shouldn't have a uniform, green, perfect lawn. It's unnatural. It gets cut regularly, and those clippings go on to become compost. Win win.

Wow, interesting thread.

We've a big garden which has practically vertical banks at the end (going up not down).

They can't be mowed and are much too high for my husband or I to climb up to clear. They get covered in weeds and Brambles and we were thinking of fake grass to cover, we've trees, bird feeders, shrubs etc and our garden is really pretty apart from the banks.

Having read this thread I imagine the neighbours will (after 30 years) think we'll turn into characters from Shameless, so perhaps not.

Jesus. The head tilting and tinkly laughing on this thread is something to behold🤣