New year, same disappointment

[Beebot123]

Happy new year everyone! I'm currently lying in my bed feeling the same disappointment I have done every year for about 5 years now. Every year we do absolutely nothing. NOTHING for new years. I have expressed many many times that I would like to do something. It doesn't need to be that we go to a pub, it could be we go to the beach to watch the fireworks. Drive somewhere else and watch fireworks. Just something. Anything.
I'm 36 and I have NEVER gone out for New Year's Eve. We've never done anything as a family. My partner wants to sit in the house and do nothing.
I had my first child at 20. Prior to that my partner didn't want to go out either - we went to his parents a couple of times and that was it. Since having my first child I've stayed in. My partner also was a taxi driver for 5 years too so we couldn't do anything then either. It's so so so frustrating. I've asked to do something and this year he agreed but he came in from work and said "I've spoke to someone and they said not to do that" I then said let's just go down the beach then and he said "why?" So now I'm in bed, disappointed and upset that another year is starting disappointingly.
AIBU?

Happy New Years.
Kindly this is on you. If you wanted to go out for new years just do it and go out.

Why don’t you go out with some friends instead, or invite people round yours instead of expecting someone who isn’t interested to arrange it for you.

So Do something without them. NYE is pretty horrid for a night out though. So expensive and busy.

So Do something without them. NYE is pretty horrid for a night out though. So expensive and busy.

Happy New Year. Maybe make plans with a friend for 2026. Dinner Dance or something.

So go out! Either alone or next year make plans with someone else. Why does he get to veto?

Just go out!!! Why do you need him?

don’t be disappointed in him, be proud of yourself for taking control

Don't ask your DH next year. Just organise something without him?
My DH went out this evening to do something with the teens. I didn't want to do the activity they wanted to do so stayed at home.
Tomorow I plan on going to a restaurant I like and having a nice glass of wine by myself.
Much nicer than trying to please everybody yet nobody.

Why can you not go out without him?

You’re an adult. Sort the night out yourself.

What they said. You can go out without him. Just make a plan and do it.

You couldn’t pay me to go out on NYE, it’s shit. I’m warm and comfortable at home with my favourite people, I’m going to bed shortly. If DH wanted to go out I’d wish him well and hope he had a great time and see him in the morning.

YABU why can’t you make your own plans?

Yabu, if you want to go out go out?

Why can’t you go out without him? Take your teenager out to watch the fireworks? Sorry but I wouldn’t be waiting for any man to take me out on NYE - if my DCs weren’t so young, i’d be dancing the night away by now!

@Beebot123 Leave him and get your children away from the nasty piece of work. They have been damaged enough. .make tomorrow a new start.

Just do it without the miserable git!

Next year get you and your kids ready at 11, head to the beach! On your way out ask him one final time if he wants to come! Time waits for no one, this is your life and you need to live it….

Please could you explain how the OP’s children are being ‘damaged’ by their dad not being a fan of going out on New Year’s Eve?

It's so easy for everyone to type "go out without him" or "plan the night yourself".

I tried to plan tonight. He was fine until about 10pm when I said c'mon are we doing this or not. And he said not. I can't exactly go and find a pal at this point.

I've tried to plan other new years eve's. He ends up saying no either before or closer to the time.

for everyone saying they wouldn't go out on New Year's Eve because it's this and that... I would assume you've been out before on New Year's Eve to come to that conclusion.

if you had planned something and then your partner had let you down... would you not be sad?

Yes but after many years of him letting you down at the last minute you now know this is going to happen. So next year plan something with a friend who keeps their word. You can't fix this year but you can fix next year.

I think OP would like to do something with her partner? I think she’s sad that her partner doesn’t want to do the whole new year thing? She knows she can go and do something herself or with friends. That’s not the point.

Sorry it didn't go the way you wanted. Is there a reason you can't take the children and go without him? It's a shame for you and them to miss out on something you wanted to do. I also prefer staying in but you aren't unreasonable for wanting to go out, just seems like you might need to make it happen without him because he clearly isn't interested.

Listen. Stop waiting on other people. U have an entire year from now to plan ur best ny party. Go where u want ask who u want, dress how the fuck u want, and go out and slay it!!!!!!! If people want to be there it’s on them. If u want to wait another 5 years that’s on u. Happy new year! Start prioritising urself lady!!! Xxx

Yes I would be sad…but you say yourself he does the same thing every single year so YOU are the one who needs to make the change.

Just plan something with friends and your dd next year - your dh has shown you he’s not to be relied on and will sabotage whatever you try to do.

I feel for you. We went out for supper but booked late and had to take an early slot. My husband sulked when I asked him to put a shirt on instead of a scruffy t shirt.
Next year I’m planning to go out with a single friend, dress up and have a good time!