New year, same disappointment

[Beebot123]

Happy new year everyone! I'm currently lying in my bed feeling the same disappointment I have done every year for about 5 years now. Every year we do absolutely nothing. NOTHING for new years. I have expressed many many times that I would like to do something. It doesn't need to be that we go to a pub, it could be we go to the beach to watch the fireworks. Drive somewhere else and watch fireworks. Just something. Anything.
I'm 36 and I have NEVER gone out for New Year's Eve. We've never done anything as a family. My partner wants to sit in the house and do nothing.
I had my first child at 20. Prior to that my partner didn't want to go out either - we went to his parents a couple of times and that was it. Since having my first child I've stayed in. My partner also was a taxi driver for 5 years too so we couldn't do anything then either. It's so so so frustrating. I've asked to do something and this year he agreed but he came in from work and said "I've spoke to someone and they said not to do that" I then said let's just go down the beach then and he said "why?" So now I'm in bed, disappointed and upset that another year is starting disappointingly.
AIBU?

When he said he didn’t want to go you should have just gone on your own.

The most dramatic post I’ve seen 😂

That poster has already replied to say they've done an advanced search on the original poster.

Next year make your own plans and have a great time.

Im with your partner on this one, nye is over rated, crowded and expensive.

Exactly.
A sign of emotional maturity, as I read somewhere. 😁
I couldn't be bothered even staying up till midnight.

But if he always lets you down , don’t make plans with him? Make plans with your friends/ kid’s etc instead.

Yes I would be very sad and I would be spending the next 364 days ensuring I had plans that he couldn't scupper.
Do you drive? I would have got in my car and done it anyway. You don't need a mate. Warm car, some nice music on and you've already shaken new year up a bit.

Would you like some help making plans for next year?

Book a party night and room in a hotel for next year. Neighbours did that this year and had a fabulous time.

If you want something to happen, make it happen. It’s no good complaining about the ‘same disappointment’ if you do nothing to change it.

arrange something yourself, book something. If he doesn’t want to join in do it without him, go alone, arrange something with other people.

life is for living, get out and live it because nothings going to change if you don’t change it.

For next year arrange to go out with friends well in advance and tell him that is what you are doing. If he moans tell him to join you if he feels like it

Hey op it’s been and gone now but you need to book something solid he can’t wriggle out of does he even like nye? It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. The other thing is when you say are we doing this or not your giving him a choice which he knows will be a no so don’t offer it. Just say right dh I’ve never been out on nye so I’m doing it in 2026 and you best not let me down as I’m serious about it.

Next year, plan your own evening, then tell him "I'm doing xxxxxx. Come, don't come, up to you, you're welcome to join, but I'm going with or without you."

So this year make a plan with some friends or family. Tell him you are going out with or without him.

Well, I'd say in the almost twenty years you've been with him, you should know already that he'd change his mind close to NYE... He's done it often enough, right? Why would you expect this to change after so many years? Why do you keep trying to make him do something on that night? Why not plan in advance with a friend? It looks as if you are too dependable on him.

You have a partner who doesn’t like to do things, he won’t change so you have to either a) accept him as he is and do fun things with friends or your kids instead.
b) Split and find someone more fun

So many men are like him though.

Yes, everyone waits for a better offer and won't commit.

I gave up on NYE years ago.

Plan to go out with your mates. Don't even bother asking him, he's had his chance.

Yes 10pm on the night itself is too late to turn to your friends. But what’s the reason you don’t plan something with your friends in advance? Your partner doesn’t want to go out to a pub, or the beach for fireworks, so just make plans with friends or family?!

Sorry this is your situation you're not happy about. I guess it does down to being a young Mum and responsibilities with an inactive partner.

In my 20s and 30s, single then married before DC, I spent NYE in many different places. It was fun at the time but went flat after. Trying to get a taxi was impossible so just walked miles back to hotels!

Now I'm happy to be at home, DH and DC here. Xx

That is rubbish of him to let you down at the last minute. Obviously it would have been too late to organise to go with someone else at that point however, to avoid disappointment next year, I would just plan this in advance. Make it such that he can join you (and friends) or not (so he doesn’t claim you are excluding him) but so that if he bails, you still get to go out and enjoy yourself.

Going out on NYE has been a real mixed bag for me and my friends/family - some great nights and some awful nights; I echo what what people say about expensive and busy, it generally is (a lot of pubs and restaurants are ticketed and extortionate!) but if you’re prepared for that then go for it! Although the beach, especially if they have fireworks or an event, sounds lovely.
Some of my best nights have been playing games, having drinks and watching the fireworks at midnight with my family. We’ve also had years where we’ve been tucked up in bed before midnight!! I’ve also had a NYE out solo just taking in the atmosphere!

If it’s important to you and your partner won’t join, then definitely plan to do it yourself!

Absolutely

I am 60 now and happy to stay at home on NYE .
I look at it this way . I done the pubs, the parties and the clubs on NYEs Past.
My abiding memory of NYE at a pub is a long arse wait to even be noticed at the bar to be served .. then the chaos of getting home
Still, I don't think you are being unreasonable OP