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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend's Joke to Her Son

119 replies

Zozo1990 · 31/12/2025 20:49

I want to know if this is appropriate because I was deeply uncomfortable but then again I'm not sure if it's my own prejudices and my job that makes me feel this is wrong...

My friend, who I've known for a while told me that she and her husband sat down her seven-year-old son and told him they had something very important to tell him. His older sister and younger brother were present, too. They said to him that he was left as a baby on their doorstep and they had to take him in. They don't know who his real parents are. He was crying his eyes out she said and she was laughing as she's telling me this like it's funny. My heart broke for that little boy. I can't beleive she thought that was funny. I assume she told him this is a joke, she didn't say anything else.

She's also told me in the past she wanted to slap him because he was crying in school and wanted his mum and she found it embarrassing. I found her language quite surprising, but I assumed she was obviously a bit stressed and didn't mean she literally wanted to slap him. Because she normally comes across as very calm, but she has a highly controlling personality.

OP posts:
Zucker · 31/12/2025 20:51

Yeah, she's a bitch.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 31/12/2025 20:53

Who gets a laugh out of making their child cry???

ElizabethsTailor · 31/12/2025 20:54

That’s abuse - pure and simple.

cheerfulaf · 31/12/2025 20:54

Fucking hell, that poor kid

I hate pranks that upset kids, the grinch ones are vile alongside the “someone wants to fight me” ones. You have to be quite twisted to find this sort of thing entertaining

Arlanymor · 31/12/2025 20:55

Revolting.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 31/12/2025 20:55

Abuse.

That poor kid

Talltreesbythelake · 31/12/2025 20:55

If you know what school he attends, give the safeguarding lead a phonecall next week. She is abusive.

PlacidPenelope · 31/12/2025 20:55

Both those incidents are fucking awful.

Are you brave enough to pull her up on these incidents? I'd be very concerned for that child, what she is doing/saying is cruel.

I would have zero respect for a parent who did this and would be unable to be friends with them.

CaptainMyCaptain · 31/12/2025 20:56

It's a horrible thing to do.

PlacidPenelope · 31/12/2025 20:56

Talltreesbythelake · 31/12/2025 20:55

If you know what school he attends, give the safeguarding lead a phonecall next week. She is abusive.

Edited

Excellent call. Do this OP.

ohyesido · 31/12/2025 20:56

That is horrible. She will end up a lonely and bitter woman in years to come

Original poster
Zozo1990 · 31/12/2025 21:00

I found her odd over the years like she blows hot and cold. Push and pull kind of dynamic with her. She had cut her entire family off for three years, which included missing her brothers wedding and having a baby duaghter and no one visited her. I felt sorry for her then and helped her a lot. But after this incident with her child, it's made me pull back and "analyse" all this as part of a bigger picture. I haven't met up with her for a month and this has been really playing on my mind. She said she called her youngest (six-year-old) a dog and he got so upset "he cried like he'd been hit" so she said I apologised so he would be quiet. But generally, she is very calm and controlled. She has no emotional depth though so it must be that she is low in empathy (obviously). Urghhh.

Funnily enough, she's always criticising other people's kids and other people's parenting.

OP posts:
VeterinaryCareAssistant · 31/12/2025 21:01

Well I daresay I'll get flamed but when my 5th child was little (about 5 or 6) her siblings told her she was found in a cabbage field which she got upset about. Obviously I did set her right.

Over the years as she's got older and was having stroppy/naughty moments I've often told her to pack it or I'll send her back to the cabbage field. This is usually met with an eye roll and a "funnnnnny".

GardenCovent · 31/12/2025 21:04

Jesus, that’s awful

NotAnotherScarf · 31/12/2025 21:06

Like those people who dress up as the Grinch and steal kids toys.....one word...cunts

ElizabethsTailor · 31/12/2025 21:08

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 31/12/2025 21:01

Well I daresay I'll get flamed but when my 5th child was little (about 5 or 6) her siblings told her she was found in a cabbage field which she got upset about. Obviously I did set her right.

Over the years as she's got older and was having stroppy/naughty moments I've often told her to pack it or I'll send her back to the cabbage field. This is usually met with an eye roll and a "funnnnnny".

Edited

That’s completely different though. Her siblings told her that, and you corrected her.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2025 21:09

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 31/12/2025 20:53

Who gets a laugh out of making their child cry???

Plenty of people on Youtube.

KnowledgeableAvocado · 31/12/2025 21:10

ElizabethsTailor · 31/12/2025 21:08

That’s completely different though. Her siblings told her that, and you corrected her.

Show quote history

Exactly, that's just mean sibling jokes. My sister used to say I was the milkman's daughter to wind me up.

It was never my parents idea to do it as a joke.

Abuse in my opinion, OP
That child may well never trust a thing his mother says ever again.

fatphalange · 31/12/2025 21:14

Highly sadistic bitch. I love it when these horrors are met with some pushback and told they are cruel and not one bit funny. Should happen more often.

jannier · 31/12/2025 21:19

Zozo1990 · 31/12/2025 21:00

I found her odd over the years like she blows hot and cold. Push and pull kind of dynamic with her. She had cut her entire family off for three years, which included missing her brothers wedding and having a baby duaghter and no one visited her. I felt sorry for her then and helped her a lot. But after this incident with her child, it's made me pull back and "analyse" all this as part of a bigger picture. I haven't met up with her for a month and this has been really playing on my mind. She said she called her youngest (six-year-old) a dog and he got so upset "he cried like he'd been hit" so she said I apologised so he would be quiet. But generally, she is very calm and controlled. She has no emotional depth though so it must be that she is low in empathy (obviously). Urghhh.

Funnily enough, she's always criticising other people's kids and other people's parenting.

Edited

Please tell me your going to report this abuse its extremely damaging and nasty with long term affects.

isyouready · 31/12/2025 21:22

Report her

treesandsun · 31/12/2025 21:28

I definitely think you should report this to the school because if this is the things that she is telling you I dare say there are worse things that she's kept to herself and somebody needs to be looking out for that child.

Original poster
Zozo1990 · 31/12/2025 21:28

I can't report her as child protection systems do not operate on patterns, vibes, or long-term emotional climate alone especially when:

The children are fed, housed, educated

They attend school and function academically

There is no disclosure from the children

There is no evidence of physical harm, sexual harm, or severe neglect

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 31/12/2025 21:28

What a nasty thing to do to a small.child . I would be reporting it as well
Poor kid x.

StephensLass1977 · 31/12/2025 21:29

Of course it isn't appropriate. I felt sick reading that, and I have a strong stomach for all sorts of jokes. But this isn't a joke in any sense of the word. It's abuse. What on earth made her think this was funny? I bet she thought she was a genius thinking of it and putting the plan in action - and even roping in siblings?

She is a cunt. That poor boy. My heart goes out to him. I bet he could do with a huge cuddle.